writer and entrepreneur Mark Manson (Mark Manson) wrote an article about what it depends on, come true our dreams or not. We are in the Website it seems that in many respects he was right on it and definitely worth considering.
Living well want everything easy to go through life, build a wonderful relationship, flawless look to earn a lot of money and is admired by others. Want easy.
If I ask, "What do you want out of life," many will answer something like: "I want to be happy, have a happy family and a cool job." In other words, do not say anything.
And there is another interesting question that you may have not thought of before: « What kind of pain in my life I want? For that I am ready to fight and to suffer? ». The answer is - a much more powerful indicator of how the rest of life as a result
Everyone wants a cool job and financial independence, but not all are willing to work hard for 60 hours a week, to wander through the endless trips and scrambling over the heads of the career ladder. People want to be rich without risk and are not ready to give up the pleasures. And without that, alas, no way. Of course, if you do not Rockefeller's daughter. Everyone wants a great love and exciting sex, but not everyone is ready to go through the difficult conversations, awkward silence, resentment, drama and misunderstanding.
And the person calms down, makes himself comfortable and inquires into the void: "But what if?". A few years later, "What if?" Becomes "What was that?".
And another lawyer comes home, puts his ex-wife alimony and thinks: « And for what, in fact, it was all ?». Not for the same monotonous work and 20 years of unclear expectations. For what?
For happiness must be fought. Good - the flip side of the unpleasant. You can avoid all the negative years, but eventually it will still be shown.
We, of course, unique, and all that, but basically we have similar needs. With pleasant things all easy to deal with. And since we are all negative, by definition, we are struggling. However, what we ultimately get from life - the result not so much of pleasant dreams as our willingness to endure pain for the sake of this
Man wants the body, like Mr. Universe, but without a rigid diet and exhausting exercise his will. Man wants his own business, but did not become a successful entrepreneur without risk and hard work for 12 hours a day. This success is not yet assured. A man wants a great love, but it can not be built without much dialogue and endless hours in an embrace with a phone that never rings. It's part of the game of love. < We do not win if you do not play.
Success does not depend on the question, "What I want to enjoy?" And the question "What kind of pain I'm ready for my goal?". Quality of life is determined not by positive experiences and negative feelings. Just like that.
If you suddenly realize that the years of dreaming about something, and even a step does not come close to the dream, then maybe you're lying to yourself. Maybe you just enjoy the dream itself. Actually, you do not want this.
I sometimes ask people: « What kind of pain you yourself choose ?», And people look at me as if I had grown 12 noses. But I ask because it will tell me about you much more than the desires and fantasies.
This question makes you you and me me. This question brings us together and at the same time infinitely alienated from each other.
Most of my life I dreamed of becoming a rock star. As soon as I heard a pep song, I immediately closed my eyes and imagined myself on stage in front of the cheering crowd. < I could sit for hours and dream.
I continued to dream and at the university, and even after being dropped from music school and generally stopped playing. However, I just thought about how I will play on the stage, not when. I keep waiting for the right moment to start: first, it was necessary to finish school, and then to make money, and then find the time, and then ... and then nothing
It took me a long and painful reflection to understand why: in fact I did not want
I loved my imaginary stage. But I did not like the process itself. I did not like to play. Cause and threw a hundred times. Honestly, I did not even try to be like - so, for the sake
Daily heavy rehearsals, the search group, luring people to concerts, broken amps, carrying on the backs of heavy equipment ... Well it's a mountain of work! I crawl in this mountain did not want to. I just liked to present themselves at the top.
Society as a whole would have said that I am lazy and a loser. Personal trainer - I was brave enough or did not believe in myself. Startups will say that I chickened out and rolled in stability. And I'll tell you what I thought, if really want to be a rock star, and eventually did not do anything. All end of the story.
< I would like a reward, not a fight. I would like the result, not the process. I did not like to fight, and the only victory. < In life it does not work. So what you have been / will become, depends on what you are willing to fight.
Those who like to sweat in the gym, make a great strong body. People who like to work 12 hours, climb the career ladder. People who enjoy life unrecognized genius with all its uncertainties, are, for example, artists.
This is not a call to be strong and courageous. No warning from the series "a rolling stone gathers no moss»
This is the most simple thing in life. Our success depends on our struggle. So choose your own struggle with the mind, my friends.
Author: Mark Manson
Translation and adaptation of the Website
Preview: Irina Zenyukov