How we meet: we stopped trying. We just don't see the point
Controversial, but worth reading essay about the attitude of modern people towards themselves, each other and life.
We have stopped trying. We just don't see the point. We have always said that in a sea of so many fish and it will be enough for everyone. But now the whole fish is right under our fingers in phones and tablets, the application for Dating do not want to take. We can order as much or as ordered iPad in the online store. Delivery.
We believe that proximity is send each other emoticons. And I have a text message "good morning" equivalent to a feat. We say that romance is dead. Maybe so, but maybe we just need to invent it again. Maybe romance in our time is to put away the phone during dinner and see each other in the eye. Maybe romance is still there, but we don't know what she looks like.
When we already chose a partner, our view is still looking for more options nearby. Because we have a choice. And this choice is killing us. We think that the more chances we have, the better.
But, in fact, it makes it somehow "diluted". So we never feel satisfied. By and large, we don't even understand what satisfaction is, how it looks, sounds, feels. One leg we are always somewhere else, because there, behind the door even more options. More, more, more.
We comfort ourselves and get distracted. But if we can't meet face-to-face with their own "demons", how can we love someone else, and it's doubly difficult? We surrender. We're leaving.
In fact, we see the world as limitless, as he is not seen even one generation before us. We can open a new tab in the browser accidentally stumble upon pictures of Portugal, to get a credit card from her purse and immediately book a plane ticket. We don't do that, but we can.
The fact that we can even if we have not very much funds in the account. Instead, we tease ourselves — open Instagram, look at the lives of others that we could have. Watch places where we have never been. People who I never met.
We "bombard" yourself with external stimuli and wonder why we are so unhappy. Why all felt somehow hopeless. And here's why: we have no idea about what is our life, but we can clearly see what it is not.
For example, if we find the person we love and who loves us. Offer. Intimacy. "I love you." Yes, we did it. Then, with lightning speed, we are putting our love on display. We tell people that we are now in a relationship, changing the status on Facebook. Throw your photos in Instagram. We become "we". "We" should look brilliant and perfectly.
Therefore, we do not share a row to 3 hours a night, photos, reddened eyes and tear-stained sheets. We are tweeting 140 characters about what a moment ago we had a conversation that casts doubt on the future of our relationship. No, we do not share. We brought the happy couple with the perfect relationship.
Then we see other "happy" couples. And compare ourselves with them. We have become a generation of emojis. Choice generation. Generation of the comparison. Generation, which is measured in likes. Good. Good enough. Best. Never before have we had such a cornucopia of markers for what to look for in life "the best possible". We push "enter" "enter" "enter" and soon find ourselves in despair.
We will never be good enough because of what we are trying to measure, hell does not exist. This is no life. As there is no such relationship. But we can't believe it. After all, we've seen it with my own eyes, in your feed Facebook. And we want it. We will suffer until we get it.
And we're done. Because they themselves are not good enough, and our relationship and life up to an imaginary ideal. Again turn over the pages of profiles. Again order someone, like a pizza, with delivery direct to your door. And it all starts again. Emoji. Sex. The message "good morning". Joint self. Radiant, happy couple. Compare. Compare. Compare.
Inevitably and imperceptibly covers the new wave of dissatisfaction. Night of the fight. "Something's wrong." "It doesn't work". "I need something more." And we are done. Another lost love.
And the next time will be the same. Another quick success. Another attempt to fit life into 140 characters, frozen filtered images, four going to the movies. We are so worried about creating a shiny, happy life. And what is the ideal, and who invented it? We don't know, but damn it I want to.
But it's something "more", why do we constantly chase, is a lie. In fact, we want to talk on the phone. We want to see the face of a loved one or beloved person and not on the screen.
We want everything to be gradual. We want simplicity. We want our life is not exhausted huskies, cherami, subscribers, comments and votes.
We may not know yet what we want, but it's true. We want a deep real connection. We want a love that builds, not destroy. We want to come to people's houses. We want at the end of our days we would be sure that he lived a life full of meaning. That's what we want. Even if you don't know yet.
However, because we are not live. So we don't love.