Rupture of relations There is an energy relationship after the breakup.That is, knows, or has guessed by the party that triggered the breakup, and the “victim” party forgets about it.
The first is not beneficial to have a second thought; the latter simply do not believe that this is possible.
Forty six million three hundred sixty five thousand thirty six
But, if after a few times, before the second still intuitively realize that situations are alike, they always remain “victims”, then here happens to be enlightenment. The relationship, though broken, but still continued on the energy level, transformed into a theater of hostilities.
If the affected partner after a breakup you do everything correctly, the energy gradually begins to adopt more acceptable for the individual forms. This is the risk that the departed partner loses the already familiar energy, and causes the “victim” returns the blow.
Simply appears on the horizon, to restore the “status quo”, check out what “breathes” a former partner and to the next portion of energy.
The fact that she will be the lead partner does not even doubt. After all, being in the position of “victim” abandoned partner still hopes to restore relations. Almost no one can cut off the hope of an effort, but attempts to do so are felt, they tend to immediately stop.
And here I do not need to ask why ex-back, you need to understand that they come back for their portion of energy.
There is a force that seeks to prevent the final rupture of relations. This force prevents the closure with a former partner.The name of this power, the romance.
Here I will digress and explain that the “romance” I mean.
Romance is all the thoughts, desires, dreams and aspirations, deeds and actions of people under the influence of the romantic egregor.
Egregor — energy-informational structure, which unites people on a certain basis and lives solely on the power of the adepts of this structure.
I think you heard about the national egregor, government, professional, business, family. Any interest club, a group of people United by some principle, is an egregore.
Romantic egregore brings together people who believe in lofty and lengthy love, in unselfish feelings and emotions, in the absence of selfishness, self-sacrifice and altruism.
Any egregore lives by its own principles and rules, and if a person enters into a particular egregore, he must obey the “rules of the game”.
Egregors are given as “whips” and “carrots” to its adherents.
So romantic egregor gives “carrots” in the form of strong emotions, the ability to absolve themselves of “the shirt”, the ability to weaken the level of internal control with the one you love and to be accepted they way you are.
“Gingerbread” also applies a high intensity of feelings, emotional different from zero, and the feeling of “features”, “belonging” to the mysterious feeling of love, and the ability to issue all the dirt from behind the barrier with impunity.
Many of these “bonuses” from the romantic egregor enough to live life, and there is nothing wrong. On the contrary, most people will tend to romance, it makes their lives meaningful.
The same media industry addictive person in the romance, releasing books, movies, talk shows about love and all the passions in all their manifestations. It is the relationship of Romeo and Juliet, with the passions and the tremendous emotional intensity, presented as an ideal to which to strive.
Those who consume it, gives food a romantic egregor — energy in the form of experiences, feelings, emotions, and attention.
Fifty four million six hundred sixty eight thousand six hundred seven
But about the “stick” forget everything, face it, when there is a painful gap. Sometimes the “stick” is so strong that a person forever forswear love and romance.
Romantic, like any other, egregor beneficial when a person's Ego is in an undeveloped form, as such a person has no control over the energy exchange. To abandon his “I” for the sake of “romantic love to the grave”, to be entirely controlled is what a romantic egregore. In the interest of the egregore as long as possible to keep a person with “crushed Ego”.
The rupture of relations and the growth of the EgoAs soon as one tries after the break to de-energize the channel of energy exchange, then gets on the head “whip” from the egregore. Romantic egregore is not ready to just give adept. So “suddenly” the ex-comes back and throws a “SOP” to get the “victim” a new batch of emotions. Gets, again washed off in an unknown direction. Such returns-treatments can last for years, until one of the partners will not take the liberty to block the channel of energy exchange.
But as soon as he will go against the egregore, it will seem that life is gray, hopeless longing that left only basic reflexes that you want nothing and nothing pleases.
Often at this time is that friends and acquaintances are busy Affairs, and the man remains alone with himself and his problems.
And now the former “daredevil” give up, give up, but then the egregore is not in a hurry to give him “support” for some time.
Partners who left, probably subconsciously knew that their partner is “stuck” in a romance. Usually all over again trying to make “victim of romance” showed his Ego. However, this is done by manipulation, blackmail, humiliation. The meaning of these actions is to remove the rose-colored glasses from your partner, and make him see the real eyes in the real world.
Originally, when two people enter into a relationship, they feel the potential of each other, and everyone wants to see next to a person with a manifested Ego, but not the carrier “romantic ideas”, having nothing in common with reality.
And if a man can't put himself in a relationship as a person builds castles in the air, plug the Ego in the ass, just to please their partner — that parting is inevitable.
And to put yourself as a person in the relationship is possible only at the initial stage, when there is a “fixation”, that is, when by mutual acquiescence is as if the roles of who was playing. To change the “role” after “fixing” it is very difficult, and only on a “break”.
And if the person at this stage assumes the role of “victim” — the result of logical and obvious.
So what to do with the channel of energy exchange, which continues to work after a break?The answer is to block, despite the “whips” from the romantic egregor, restaurantsthis with a partner and hopes for a happy life with him.
Any disidentification with the group (in this case romantic egregore) leads to a resistance group. It is easy to see that small groups: family, friends, team. Try not to identify with the group and then fly some stuff, like resentment, nagging boss, scandals in the family out of the blue. This is the “whip” of the egregore. But, there may be faux disguised as “gingerbread”. When a man spread a “carrot”, then the second, and then, instead of having to put the third, the man said: “who are you, good bye”. The goal is to keep you in the group and to do more addicted to it.
In problematic relationships such “carrot” may be the return of the deceased partner with the “SOP”. Like, I've thought about it and decided to go back, but I have such and such a condition.
Often, people in power red, clutching at this “handout”, cutting the wings of Ego at the root. They should not do that.
In the first place, so person a gives more reason to despise himself, driving himself in even bigger emotional hole. Yes, there will be an initial burst of joy “came back” and the feeling that here alone this time all will be well. But the problem with undeveloped Ego will not go away, and the second time the breakup will be harder and scarier.
Forty three million eight hundred ninety four thousand two hundred fifty six
Second, the Ego can make a “dressing down” this stupid “master” to teach it, and make his life in it is the impossibility, in order to provoke the rupture and manifest.
So what should you do?
Don't take “handouts” from the returning partner. For your own safety.
Partner will understand what he is doing, and will provoke on “taking handouts.” His goal is simple — to give you a chance to show Ego, but at the same time give you a chance to show Ego.
There is no contradiction here.
Anyone and is never nice to see rejected last partner happier and samodostatochna yourself. But to see that “degraded” — a pleasure.
But if the former partner shows Ego, grows as a person, the opposite is happening. Already gone “bite their elbows”, deprecating himself that nothing was thrown.
That is why your ex does not want you to show Ego.
But at the same time the man, harshly throwing the other, subconsciously aims to awaken the Ego of the other and help him become a whole Person. And he is aware of this. And understands that once it left and it grew as a person, and it came time to “reward” thus the World.
But the man would not be man if providing “service to the growth of the personality of the other”, would not give a “kick” thrown partner. And “kick” it is that before you throw the “victim” even more vampires, forcing an even greater disadvantage, as he knows from personal growth thrown it partner bonuses do not get.
But what personal growth will drop no doubt, because he has already experienced it in their own skin.
So here's an interesting picture.
What else can you do with a channel of energy exchange, before it closed permanently? You can make a “turd” former partner, and start off with his what you liked about him.
To turn the breakup into the game. Liked you as a former partner in sports — go sports, like, says — speaking as well liked, able to fend for themselves — to start doing it. In General, any qualities and habits, which he liked to copy itself. This should be done while the channel is open, but not make it an end in itself.
The goal is complete closure of the channel and disidentification. But once it is, no one turns, therefore, to regain part of the lost energy can be copying the interesting qualities of the partner.
It should be taken so. When people get married, the property becomes common, and divorce is divided in half. But, there are cunning spouses who leave other than. Or one is substantially less than it was before the marriage.
Here and here as well. Emotions, feelings, qualities — were common, and the grain to pick up more than expected, as do abandoned partners. So quietly, without remorse, you can copy the qualities of a partner that liked it. Until you get bored.
Well, it works in such way that these qualities of the departed partner loses. And these losses have a great impact on his life and health. And no he can't help you until you calm down.
BUT!!! This should be done taking into account the fact that someone can ride on the roller you in the next relationship, and until then, until you feel satisfied. Just like that, out of spite and revenge — not worth it, come back like a boomerang, a hundred times worse.All you need to know the measure.
How to close the relationship with your ex?There is only one scheme that works in combination with the technique of 'empty chair'. This scheme will allow to complete the Gestalt.
The scheme works always and with all, to be honest to use it.
Stage # 1.
Throw romance into the garbage.
To realize that the indifference of the second side is not simulated, not special, does not have any far-reaching plans, and the most that neither is real. Game for the second side finished. Maybe she even started, or the leading players unwilling to play on stage “commit.” Stuck in gestalte it seems that the game continues, and he's actually a long time ago playing with himself.And the longer and more plays, the more feeds the egregore of romantic emotions, the less energy remains for life.
Be aware of their “victim”.
Honestly admit it. To recognize that the partitioning step of the relationship you caved in, let another you bend under him, crushed Ego, voluntarily and independently. No one can force a person to put Ego in the ass about it. Therefore, to recognize the “victim” — is to realize that your energy is sticky and it wants to run.
Here partner and escaped. And you can't affect his decision. Because everyone has the right to decide with whom to interact and how. Well, if the Gestalt is not closed, so you're sure that only flirts with you when running, and awaits your actions. It's romantic again. Not flirting, not waiting. Actually runs away from you — unnecessary, Intrusive and sticky.
Stage # 3.
Here you need to understand that, by and large, nothing terrible happened. You are only forced to remove “pink glasses” romance.How forced millions of people before you and will be millions after. Break relations — a springboard for growth. Of your personal, personal.
To understand that we are the same, and violent breakup happened, almost everyone, but that's no reason to think that now you are “special.” You do not need to escape suffering in order just not to deal with the fact that you have no one and no catches. No need to think that “this/such as I shall never meet” and to cling to the former. Meet. And if you make a withdrawal from the breakup, then meet in another energosistemi with other self-other boundaries, with other resources. published