We are women who cannot love.

We are women who cannot love. We are women who cannot handle their emotions. We do not understand our emotions, do not realize, do not accept, do not know how to handle them.

We throw them at everyone, we throw them at those who are weaker, or we push them inside. If children annoy us, we yell at them. If we get bullied at work or don't get a bonus, we break down on the kids. When the husband is annoyed, the child or dog is again guilty. We do not accept our bad mood and fight it. We quench anger and resentment, earning sickness. We smile when our heart breaks to look good. So that no one thinks badly of us, we do not know how to refuse and talk about our desires, problems, fears. Sometimes it is easier for us to break up than to clear up grievances and misunderstandings. And when a critical mass accumulates, we roll tantrums out of the blue.

Because my husband bought the wrong milk, we might even get divorced. We don’t control the storm that comes out. We do wild things that we are ashamed of. And we make promises to ourselves that we will never do it again. And we pinch our feelings even harder. Nor do we know how to be happy.

We react with restraint to gifts, refuse compliments. And when there is a wave of gratitude inside us, we can barely torment ourselves with “thank you.” It is difficult for us to compliment our children, our husband, ourselves. We don’t know how to confess love and accept it. Even the good feelings within us are stiff and stiff. We do not know how to ask, we are afraid to appear vulnerable. We are constantly flaunting our "I myself", in the depths of our hearts, afraid that this will have to live in reality.

We can learn everything and do everything, but we cannot be happy in this situation. A superman woman sobs into her pillow from loneliness, lack of care and warmth. Her heart becomes stone, she does not know how to love.

We are women who do not understand ourselves. And that's why no one can understand us. We want love, but we run away from it. We dream of a family, so we build a career. We want children, so we put it off as far as possible. We are logical in our illogicality. And the closer we get to our dreams, the faster we run from there.

We do not understand our needs, we adapt to common stereotypes and we repeat models after someone, copy them. We're not living our lives. Our lives pass by unnoticed. We are women who do not know ourselves. We don't know what we want or why. We know what the husband wants for dinner or what the child wants as a gift. But we don't know what I would like. How do you make yourself happy? What can I do for myself? Is there anything I can be pleased with? What do I like that I personally like? And more importantly, who am I? What am I?

What are my needs? And how to separate the programs of the mother, society, stereotypes from their inner desires and aspirations? We can live like everyone else and against everything. But we don’t know how to be happy with ourselves when no one is watching and no one is expecting anything.

We are women who can seem and have, but cannot be. We want to have children and be a good mother. But we can't enjoy motherhood. We’re always going somewhere and waiting “when it gets easier.” And we're totally incapable of serving. We are able to make millions of unnecessary sacrifices in the name of a beautiful picture and the status of an ideal mother. We do not know how to hear the voices of our children, we do not know how to help them and support them.

We demand from them love, understanding, acceptance, and also to be proud of them. We want them to do what we want and how we want. Although we do not even want it ourselves, but just so accepted and so right. We want to have beautiful dresses, but we don’t want to be beautiful. No makeup, no jewelry, no clothes.

We don’t like ourselves the way we are. We all think that we are fat-thin, that we have ugly eyes-ears-nose. What you need to do yourself artificial eyelashes, artificial hair, breasts. To be beautiful. Not realizing that our beauty is a shine in the eyes, smooth body movements, a happy smile.

The rest is just the scenery. We want everyone to like us and not to upset anyone. We do what others want us to do, even though it is difficult and unpleasant. We put our interests on the sacrificial altar again and again because we don’t even know what they are.

We do what is expected and demanded of us – parents, society, relatives, boss. The only person we don’t ask is ourselves. It turns out that this is the most unimportant character in our lives. Can such sacrifice bring happiness to anyone? Only those who have a heart full of love, not fear, can truly serve. We are women who are afraid to be alone with ourselves and our inner self. Because we don't know this man. A stranger is scary.

We're afraid of ourselves. The power that is within us, our power, our capabilities. We are afraid to find something terrible in ourselves, we always think that we have it inside. That it's about to pop out and ruin everything, break it, destroy it.

We know this, we sometimes find situations where something breaks through and chaos begins. If you do not pay attention to the whisper of love for a long time, do not hear the voice of conscience, then the mouthpiece of suffering begins to work. And the more we clamp it all inside of us for a beautiful picture, the more destructive it is.

We do not know how to listen to our souls, we forget that we are souls, believing that we have a soul. So we think of ourselves as bodies. We care about how not to grow old, how to preserve the body, how to feed the body. How do you feed your soul? Are we thinking about that?

We have forgotten our divine nature, and we think we are descended from apes. What kind of girl really wants to be an animal? But the "girl" is based on the root "Virgin" - divine. This is an answer for our soul that we do not want to hear. We are women who have forgotten our worth.

So we squander ourselves right and left. We live in civil marriages, run after men, kill ourselves at work, have sex with anyone, open our bodies to the public. We allow ourselves to be beaten, insulted, humiliated. At the same time, considering yourself right, good, loved, or vice versa - worthless, bad, useless to anyone. There is a great power in each of us. And in order to activate it, you need to start treating yourself with respect, care.

Take care of ourselves and all that is given to us by nature. In order to make all those who are near us happy with the help of inner strength. And not just happy, but really happy.

We are women who do not know how to love and who really have nothing to give to others. And that's the saddest part. We are women with hearts of stone. They did not help to open up at a tender age, when the heart is still alive and hot. Who were constantly chilled by reproaches, corrections, punishments, standards. It was so cold that the heart became icy like the Snow Queen. Although it was once alive and hot, like Gerda's.

We live like that – frozen, half-life, bio-robots, mechanistic, with a void inside. A void that has nothing to fill. Even millions of beautiful dresses and a super successful career won't help. We are women who can change a lot. We have access to knowledge, we know how to learn, we are ready to develop and want to be happy.

If we change ourselves, the world will change. We are women and we have great opportunities. They are given to us from above – we just need to realize this and change our attitude towards ourselves. Save yourself from the whirlpool of habits, stereotypes and stupid actions. We can go on a journey to get our hearts, just as Gerda went to rescue Kai from the cold.

The only problem is that we need to save ourselves first. It is useless to learn to love others when our heart is cold. We can only freeze everyone around us. But a warm and loving heart will cope with any ice and any cold. If given the opportunity, live.

To live is to breathe. To live is to sing and dance. To live is to hear the voice of your soul. To live is to be a woman. To live is to create. To live is to love. To warm ourselves up in this icy jungle, and then warm up all those around us. And we are women who are starting to understand that and starting to learn that. That's how we save the world in a woman's way. Changing. Opening up. Warming up. published

Author: Olga Valyaeva

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!

Source: www.valyaeva.ru/my-zhenshhiny-kotorye-ne-umeyut-lyubit/