The Truth about the lost time: what we most regret getting older




In everyday life, most of us is struggling to optimize their business, where possible, and to find ways to save precious time. But still, looking back, we are always aware that spent the lion's share of the most important resource "is not the fact."

That's what "of the lost time" regret are most often:

< We do not dare to ask for help

In the first week on my first job I got after graduating from college, the boss gave me a great table that had to be order by totally incomprehensible to me the principle. At that time I was timid, shy young man, so I just nodded and went back to his desk and stared at the table for an hour, hoping that sooner or later it dawned on me.

In the end, one of my colleagues pointed out in my pathetic, came and fished me out of the recognition that I have no idea what I have to do. He quickly explained what was happening, and then gave the advice that I will never forget: "You can feel like an idiot, asking questions, but when you can not do something just because it did not dare to ask a question, you look much big idiot. ยป

It was hard, but fair. I could save a lot of time, just ask the boss what he has in mind. After this incident, I wondered just how much precious time of my life I spent in vain, without recourse. Whatever it was difficult to ask questions, sometimes it is the fastest way to get answers.

Yes, there is another perspective on the problem: if you're not trying to understand something themselves, and immediately ask for help from someone from the outside, you do not learn, not learn new skills, while staying in their "comfort zone" . This is also true.

Yet most people just shy or can not overcome pride to ask for help, and loses a lot of time wasted, what then bitterly regret.

< We're trying to save the hopeless attitude

Relationships need to constantly maintain and develop, otherwise they begin to wither. However, there is a big difference between maintaining good relations and trying to keep afloat those in which there is no sense in principle.

Of course, friendship and romance is all and sometimes serious passions boil, so it is often difficult to make out whether to stay together or better to run up in good time.

I, like many, has done in his time a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of time trying to establish a relationship that is not worth it. Here are the most common of these errors:

1) cheating, that you have more in common with the chosen / chosen one, than it actually is.

2) Save the relationship just to avoid being alone.

3) Staying in the relationship only for fear of losing a partner.

There are many reasons to maintain a reasonable relationship, but these three are not relevant to them. They do not allow you to think clearly, prolong your suffering, and distract from the really important things in your life. At the same time, we can say that the bad relationship - it is a waste of time in its pure form, as they learn about the many things you himself. But the better you will extract from this relationship all possible lessons, the better.

In addition, you can lose a bunch of valuable time, without making sufficient efforts to cope with the emotional trauma after the break. When a relationship ends, we usually go through several stages of the suffering associated with loss. The easiest way to deny the problem, telling myself that we have "everything is super." But ignoring their pain, forcing it deep into their hearts, we will only prolong it. As a result, suffers and our work, and relationships with others.

< We fixate on their past mistakes

Learn from your mistakes -One thing. But to dwell on them - it's a waste of time, which reduces confidence in himself and does not allow to move forward
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In addition, people who constantly worry about their past mistakes, tend to repeat them again and again. In a recent study, whose results were published in the scientific journal Journal of Consumer Psychology, the volunteers had to spend money during an imaginary trip to the mall. Before you begin "shopping", some participants were asked to recall the past financial mistakes. People in this group, as a result, often borrowed heavily.

The researchers concluded that we change their lives for the better when we build positive plans for your future, not when chew their past failures. In other words, if you want better control of their real life, look forward to the future. In no case did not in the past.

Consult your own experience, and you will surely understand why this is happening. Looping from past mistakes, I'm starting to feel a loser. And when I feel like a loser, it's easy for me to explain to myself why it is not necessary to repeat the attempt.

So, the easiest to get into new debts if you are already heavily in debt - in fact you still have
spender.
Of course, completely forget and ignore their mistakes can not be the same. The trick is to learn a lesson, to realize the error of her and forgive yourself. I feel awkward or ashamed after an unpleasant incident - this is normal. But in the next moment say to yourself that everyone makes mistakes and put away everything that is connected with this nuisance.

Every time the thought of trouble will come back strongly remind yourself that you have understood it, so that there is no more reason to be upset about it. Throw away bad thoughts.

< We have too much to worry about other people

Do not get me wrong, of course, friends, relatives and friends - this is a very important part of our lives. We try to spend time with them as much time and expensive for us to maintain relationships. But with all this, we spend a lot of time wasted on issues that in the long run it does not matter.

I, for example, for several years suffered people who annoyed me greatly. I complained to them, trying to understand them, wondering what is wrong with me, and what I deserved such treatment. It was the dead-end path, because they are not meant action. But with age I became less and less tolerant of this to me, until, finally, did not dare to stop it at the root.

Another perfect time killer - it's envy and jealousy. I used to compare myself with everyone suddenly began to crave what they were and felt flawed.

As it happens with most of the negative, destructive feelings start to get rid of jealousy and envy can be only realized what was happening.

When I started to follow his jealousy and pay attention to the fact that it caused, then he made a startling discovery: it is, it appears, was not so much in others, but in my own emotions and my inadequate response. In short, I felt ashamed of my jealousy. With envy occurs about the same story.

Most of us have sinned this to some extent, and to better myself to admit it. The sooner we recognize the problem, the faster will be able to cope with it and save a lot of time that could be spent on something really important and interesting.

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