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Life on a short leash: the whole truth about why men are dependent on women. I'm in shock!
In our culture, the word "addiction" is painted very negatively. It is psychologically unhealthy relationship in which disrupted the natural exchange of energy, and many other delusions that brought modern civilization. Psychologists advise to look at this phenomenon from a different perspective, because all people are somehow dependent on something. From the air, food, money, and the state of nature - or simply do not survive.
Dependency - is a set of circumstances where myself, without help or external resource can not cope. But now, more and more researchers say the so-called safe dependence - the ability to easily count on the help, care and confidence that you have the right to it just because you're there.
During the period of early childhood, the child should get to experience this safe, depending on the parents, and especially mothers, but in reality it often comes out quite differently. Especially painful it is manifested in boys when mothers do not pay enough attention to them. And then, having grown men, they are trying to make up for the lack of heat and attention with the help of their wives. Consider this phenomenon on the example of a life.
It all starts from childhood. As long as one child in the family, he realizes that all the warmth, care, time and attention of parents goes only to him. When there his little brothers and sisters, the baby begins to realize that to attract attention from now on it can only "correct" actions. This is followed by unsuccessful attempts to attract the attention of parents crafts, paintings, homemade gifts. But often the mother no time to evaluate such masterpieces, because for her the main thing that you have time to do all the lessons learned are well behaved and about. After all, you are the eldest, everyone expects from you only adult behavior, not the children's sentiments. So in the most remote corners of the soul begins to hide resentment.
Next comes a hard transition for all ages. As a rule, the guys in this period of rebellion. Attempts to get attention and love useful deeds and achievements are increasingly fiasco: for good and routine altogether cease to praise, and all the time to win the Olympics and have leading roles in theater as it is impossible. But all sorts of wrong things cause reactions: rage, abuse, shame, hurt, cry. However, the teenager pleased: this whole frenetic energy is directed at him, but it odnogo.V this period, children are increasingly looking for a place where to escape, escape away from home. In fact, such kontrzavisimosti only superficially different from addiction. It is very clear that in this case the person exactly the same views and are dependent on the state of another. Kontrzavisimosti inherent to so many men, because it is associated with freedom and ostentatious power - the main signs of masculinity. Often, however, behind this screen ostentatious independence lies hurt, sniffling and rub the tears of resentment boy about five years old. Yet as those who simply want to attract attention ...
Finally the time comes when the boy is old enough and the boys can throw in the face of my mother: "I want to - go away!" And then eventually it tries to find the most "mother" in the good wife. Psychologists say in one voice that the people choose a partner that is very similar to the parent of the opposite sex. The similarity is not necessarily manifest itself externally, rather it is expressed in some important (even painful) internal characteristics.
And then, during a honest conversation with yourself, man caught myself thinking that they are just as dependent on recognition, only this time from their wives. And come to such discoveries:
1. From the wife needed constant attention.
2. From the wife need full approval.
3. The wife should share the responsibility for everything.
Thus, every man - he shows outwardly or conceals - expects that his wife would be a "good mother." One that will be with him because he is. One that will approve all of his undertakings, projects, ideas, actions. That will always pay attention to the time, no matter what happens.
via takprosto cc
Dependency - is a set of circumstances where myself, without help or external resource can not cope. But now, more and more researchers say the so-called safe dependence - the ability to easily count on the help, care and confidence that you have the right to it just because you're there.
During the period of early childhood, the child should get to experience this safe, depending on the parents, and especially mothers, but in reality it often comes out quite differently. Especially painful it is manifested in boys when mothers do not pay enough attention to them. And then, having grown men, they are trying to make up for the lack of heat and attention with the help of their wives. Consider this phenomenon on the example of a life.
It all starts from childhood. As long as one child in the family, he realizes that all the warmth, care, time and attention of parents goes only to him. When there his little brothers and sisters, the baby begins to realize that to attract attention from now on it can only "correct" actions. This is followed by unsuccessful attempts to attract the attention of parents crafts, paintings, homemade gifts. But often the mother no time to evaluate such masterpieces, because for her the main thing that you have time to do all the lessons learned are well behaved and about. After all, you are the eldest, everyone expects from you only adult behavior, not the children's sentiments. So in the most remote corners of the soul begins to hide resentment.
Next comes a hard transition for all ages. As a rule, the guys in this period of rebellion. Attempts to get attention and love useful deeds and achievements are increasingly fiasco: for good and routine altogether cease to praise, and all the time to win the Olympics and have leading roles in theater as it is impossible. But all sorts of wrong things cause reactions: rage, abuse, shame, hurt, cry. However, the teenager pleased: this whole frenetic energy is directed at him, but it odnogo.V this period, children are increasingly looking for a place where to escape, escape away from home. In fact, such kontrzavisimosti only superficially different from addiction. It is very clear that in this case the person exactly the same views and are dependent on the state of another. Kontrzavisimosti inherent to so many men, because it is associated with freedom and ostentatious power - the main signs of masculinity. Often, however, behind this screen ostentatious independence lies hurt, sniffling and rub the tears of resentment boy about five years old. Yet as those who simply want to attract attention ...
Finally the time comes when the boy is old enough and the boys can throw in the face of my mother: "I want to - go away!" And then eventually it tries to find the most "mother" in the good wife. Psychologists say in one voice that the people choose a partner that is very similar to the parent of the opposite sex. The similarity is not necessarily manifest itself externally, rather it is expressed in some important (even painful) internal characteristics.
And then, during a honest conversation with yourself, man caught myself thinking that they are just as dependent on recognition, only this time from their wives. And come to such discoveries:
1. From the wife needed constant attention.
2. From the wife need full approval.
3. The wife should share the responsibility for everything.
Thus, every man - he shows outwardly or conceals - expects that his wife would be a "good mother." One that will be with him because he is. One that will approve all of his undertakings, projects, ideas, actions. That will always pay attention to the time, no matter what happens.
via takprosto cc
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