There was a working atmosphere in the office, until she entered the room, everyone immediately understood what was about to happen Bashny.Net

It’s not often, but still there is such an opportunity to meet an eternally dissatisfied person who always blames his surroundings for his own failures. The psychology of the victim , in simple words. And how “fun” it is to live with such a character, it’s simply beyond words. Hysterics out of the blue, blaming anyone but yourself, resentment. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. A very large iceberg, for that matter.



Psychologists themselves talk about this complex from a rather rigid position. Yes, the whole problem is in the person’s head and, of course, he suffers. But this in no way means that the “victim” somehow needs to be facilitated or, especially, played along. Such actions will only aggravate the situation and make it much worse. Help in this case can destroy both the person with psychological problems and his “rescuer.” You just have to give them both a little time.

Psychology of the victim Working in a large office in a big city is cool. The salary is pleasant, there are a large number of all kinds of additional bonuses, bonuses and even discounts. In general, I don’t want to brag, but I’m glad that I am where I am. But now I would like to mention the other side of the coin regarding my workplace. Namely stress. You start to feel nervous about literally anything, from relationships with your bosses to concerns about your old posts on social networks. What do you think, the Internet remembers everything.

By the way, if the average employee communicates with his superiors only a couple of minutes a day, or even a week, then the situation is different with colleagues in the “shop.” During working hours we are very close to each other. So we try to resolve any conflicts in their infancy. The entire office. Always. Except, probably, in those cases when conflicts begin on the part of our deputy chief accountant. Because in these circumstances it is no longer possible to fix anything. There is simply no way around this feature of our office.



Vera has a complex character. And we can’t escape it, it’s true. But sometimes, every few months, she has “episodes.” When a person gets everything out of hand. She may cry, start screaming, hysterical, swearing. But the main thing about this is that every time the reason for her behavior lies in someone else. It doesn’t matter to a colleague who may be at home at that moment, on sick leave or at his workplace. But it's always someone else. Someone who prevents Vera from living a normal life. Himself, at this moment, without realizing it.

The management did a lot to somehow resolve this problem. Talking, cajoling, and salary increases led nowhere. It ended up that a corporate psychologist appeared in our company, 90% of the time he was bored alone in his office. But, nothing can be done, Vera is a good specialist, and she is also a relative of some of her superior comrades. This must be understood.



Now closer to the essence. A couple of weeks ago, a creative atmosphere reigned in our workplace, as always. Everyone was doing their own thing and everything seemed to be going fine. We didn’t even communicate out loud, we only corresponded in the internal chat. Well, so as not to frighten off the universal muse, who helped us complete the project on time. When suddenly she entered the room. The star of her personal inner drama, Her Majesty Deputy. accountant. She already had tears in her eyes when she opened the door.

Vera came with a claim, that was understandable. But at that time her complaint did not apply to someone specific, but to the entire work team. The reason is banal. We incorrectly filled out some form that was sent personally to everyone by email. Nothing important, just a simple survey about how much we spend on average during our vacation. No specific numbers, just a lot or a little. And everything like that. But for Vera this moment turned out to be critical.



For about 15 minutes she first spoke in low notes and rather slowly told us how terrible it was to open every new profile and see the same error. Then she sped up and began accusing everyone of a collective conspiracy against her personally. Well, she continued to raise her voice until, at one tense moment, our new specialist got up from the table and yelled at the top of his lungs: “Shut up already, you hysterical girl, come back in an hour when lunch starts!” And he sat down to work back.

Surprisingly, Vera’s reaction was immediate. She fell silent mid-sentence, looked around and then looked fearfully at the employee who dared to interrupt her. Then she rolled her eyes, muttered something, opened the door and walked out, slamming it behind her as hard as she could. And that is all. Then I thought that this was a typical victim psychology.



It cannot be said that after such a scene we all joined hands and began to dance around our “defender”. But I still saw a couple of approving gestures. Most of us understood that, despite the fact that the new guy had lifted our spirits that day, his further work in our friendly team was now becoming a big question mark. Well, at least we were all able to watch a real office hero...

However, neither that nor the next day there was any dissatisfaction from the authorities. Moreover, I personally saw Vera in the corridor and she, oddly enough, was very smiling and did not exude her usual negative energy at all. I’ll tell you more, she recently sent a standard mailing letter to everyone in the mail, in which she congratulated everyone on the imminent arrival of summer. Like this. And our new guy remained working in his place. The problem was closed. Despite its rather touchy history.



Reflecting on this incident, I unexpectedly came to the following conclusion. Sometimes it's worth risking a lot if you feel you're right. Although, who knows this new guy, maybe he didn’t want to calm anyone down, he just lost his nerves? And one more thing: should our bosses fire a full-time psychologist and give some part of his former salary to our new “specialist”? Perhaps victim psychology is his strong point. He really handled the situation. How can one not encourage young talent?!