I told my daughter the good news that I was getting married, but she didn’t react the way I expected.

Most of us will never refuse the help of others. It’s okay, so why not accept someone else’s help if they offer it to you. But Can people be used?What if you see that it becomes a burden for them? Here everything depends on conscience and personal views on life. Some people will stop at nothing for their own gain and ambition.



Although it is generally believed that we humans are not really so bad, there are examples that prove otherwise. In any case, it all depends on inner feelings, upbringing and social circle. Therefore, it is so important to choose friends from a normal, proven company. So that your relationship does not turn into abusive contacts in the future.

It is sad to write this and, admittedly, even somehow humiliating. But I have no one else to share with: I myself live abroad, and there is no more strength to remain silent. And while I'm basically fine now, the question of my daughter is eating me from the inside out. Why does an adult, thirty-year-old woman still expect financial support and constant gifts from her mother? Can people be used for their own purposes? I'm her mother!



On the one hand, it can be understood a little: all her childhood Marina was absent mother. Without a husband, I worked 10-15 hours a day. What to do, no education, no profession. So handing out advertisements in the city center or selling ice cream at the stop is still a good job, there have been worse.

Since childhood, I tried to somehow convey to Marina that the world is not the way they write in fairy tales. That we have to fight, to grow above ourselves. And then, if you're lucky, you'll be fine. Financially, we didn’t talk about things like friendship, family relationships and other psychological issues. I thought it would make her weak. And I was wrong.

Marina started dating Vlad early. He's 2 years older, so I thought they were the same age. When I was 17, my daughter asked me to let her live with a boyfriend. But I was able to let her do it only when my daughter was 18 years old. And along with that, I had the idea that maybe I would find a stable source of money in another country, maybe even a husband, which is no joke.



My mother is abroad, so it turned out that my daughter's youth passed me by too. What can I do, life? Especially, somewhere in this area, I began to earn and send money to Marina for the first time. I don’t know what, but for her, let’s say, before family life it was very useful. Because Marina did not want to work, but wanted to go to professional courses, so as not to be like me in my time.

It took 5 years and my daughter got married. All this time I helped her to stand on her feet financially. I also sent a lot of money as a gift. Unfortunately, Marina never finished her courses. So she sat at home as a housewife. And with constant cash injections from me. Convenient, I admit. But she's the only daughter.

In the meantime, I slowly began to build up my personal life. We started dating a man. He's local, he made a lot of money. But I wasn't even getting married. It is all about strict local laws. After the divorce in his homeland, he literally lost everything. So even his mother advised him to stay single.



Plans for marriage turned out that time was already running out. I kept working. I met my “friend” at the time. And my daughter just got some money from me, and we barely talked. But I thought she didn't need a mother now because she was married. In addition, our conversations began to turn into the same dialogue: not enough for life, mother, help.

Now I'm getting married. Yes, yes, the ice broke and even at my age, it turned out that you could get married. Although, you know, I will not divorce and do not know why to do it. I now have a beloved man, my lawful future husband. I don’t work, now I’m a housewife, although my tongue won’t turn that way: we order cleaning and food from restaurants. There's a sea right next to it.

You want to know my daughter's reaction? She resents me for wanting to marry abroad. And, moreover, live here. Because, in her opinion, my life is too sweet and I don’t know what it’s like to vegetate on an average salary. On her husband's salary. Because, you see, I'm bathing in luxury now, and they don't even have a car.



Is it possible to use people Marina forgot, or just did not feel how hard I worked after the divorce and how much I sent her money. To her, I'm just an ATM. And also one that can be criticized, shouted. As you can see, she still doesn't work, otherwise, why would she need a husband? That's how they live, I wouldn't want them to. She's got a new phone, a bunch of rags, all bought with my handouts. Can we use people like this? My daughter thinks so.

All my life I tried to improve my financial situation and help. But the truth is that with age a person becomes stale. And my daughter's skills just got me. I know I have one. But, nevertheless, you need to know the measure. And now, before the wedding, I'm thinking, maybe I should stay home. Why would I invite her in for new lost nerves?



If a person does not know how to behave with his mother, how will she talk to her stepfather? I don’t know if it will be a bad decision or an adult decision. Because as you do to people, so will they do to you. I will not send any more money to their family. They're adults, they'll figure it out. Anyway, it's time to start.