Should a modern woman be the guardian of the hearth and can this way of things be changed?

It is difficult for men to understand that women do not owe them anything. householding The wife (or husband) is willing. Spouses in family relations act as equal partners and interact by mutual consent.



Previously, girls were taught from childhood that they must be the guardians of the hearth, so they need to learn how to cook, clean, wash and do needlework. But times are changing, and the beautiful half of humanity is increasingly trying to show self-sufficiency and independence in society, taking on their fragile shoulders the responsibility not only for themselves, but also for the well-being of the whole family.

Now women have to work no less than men. Only the husband comes home to rest after work, and the wife at this time at the stove for the second shift comes in. A man has an important occupation: he guards the sofa with the TV. So let the woman help him!



Housekeeping is considered a purely female duty. And my husband is also of this opinion, so he, washing dishes once a month, usually says: “I washed your dishes!” And that word "you" really annoys me. I put a lightning bolt down and correct it: “Not you, but us!”

I agree, our house has been a mess lately. I do not sit idly by, but no matter how hard I try, I do not physically have time to maintain cleanliness, because I also try to work from home. I turn like a squirrel in a wheel, although there is no pronounced result!



And my husband does not want to understand this, and constantly reproaches me: “I could throw everything and do the cleaning!” This means that I have to make a choice: to clean more often, but leave my spouse hungry these days, or not take the child out for a walk, or not to sleep at night, or give up additional earnings.

My husband’s attitude towards home life is not particularly strained. And it's hard for him to explain that his salary won't be enough if I don't bring my minimum income to the family. It is now that I have to be content with meager earnings, since our little child (the long-awaited one!) has no one to leave.



But I used to support our little family for thirteen years and even tried to earn extra money on weekends, even though my salary was twice that of my husband. And I left my job only three weeks before giving birth, despite the fact that it was far from "sedentary"! But he does not remember and does not appreciate it, and if I speak, there will be another scandal.

I'm trying to explain to my husband how critical the situation is. But my attempts to call my husband to talk end in family disputes. Either he doesn't want to hear me, or he doesn't care about my opinion.



The husband does not notice his defects and is justified by the fact that he is “not an electrician”, “not a plumber”, “not a mechanic” and so on. Except I'm not a cook either, because I graduated from the pedagogical school, but I cook in such a way that your fingers are close, and not a pastry chef, but cakes baking. And I didn't study to be a nurse, but I give injections and massages. And if I do, I try to do it on my conscience, because my hands are growing from the right place.

The main problem for me is time, or rather its transience. I often catch myself thinking that I plan to put the child to bed in the evening, and then quietly get up and finish something else. Sometimes I get tired before my son. Or I'll open my eyes, and it's three o'clock in the morning, and I don't want to get up anywhere.



I understand that this cannot continue and something needs to be decided. I understand that the situation needs to be corrected. But how drastic?