How to convince a husband that we don’t owe his mother anything

I can't find a common language with my mother-in-law. A few years ago, she forced her husband to give her money for sitting with her own grandson. There is not enough pension for life. A few years ago it seemed like a good idea, but now the son is 6 years old and he does not need a nanny. I do not expect support from my husband in this matter. The husband obeys his mother and is ready to give her money for nothing, laments the thirty-year-old Vika.



When my mother-in-law came to us with her proposal, I was on maternity leave with a baby in my arms. In addition, we paid off the mortgage. Irina Petrovna is 70 years old. She is retired and complains that this pension is not enough.



And 6 years ago, a friend advised her to come to her son and offer the services of a nanny for our son. We'll pay her for that. They say that the child is in safe hands, and the money in the family will remain. Oleg agreed almost immediately.



Then I was able to return to work, as my son was brought up around the clock by Irina Petrovna. It seems convenient, but the child did not really see the parents. Now we are still paying the mortgage, it’s time for our son to go to school, so we had a conversation with Irina Petrovna.



I said we didn't need a babysitter anymore. In this regard, we will not pay her money. The son needs tutors, and in general a lot of expenses will go to school. After this conversation, she called Oleg and complained that I had been cruel to her.



An urgent conflict, how else? She set it up. At first she said no one owes anyone anything, but now she complains that we have deprived her of her income. I believe that as long as Irina Petrovna is alive and well, she does not need help. Of course, if anything happens to her, we will support her. But it's okay now.



It is a shame that my husband does not support me and still gives some money to my mother. It was on this basis that we quarreled. With the filing of my mother-in-law, I left a one-year-old child and went to work so that everyone was comfortable. She sat with her own grandson for money and saw that it was not easy for us to pay her for the services of a nanny, but never refused the money. I don’t want to ruin my relationship with anyone, but this situation is unsettling.



As difficult as it is, older parents need help. And Oleg understands that perfectly. Can he deprive his mother of her livelihood? Perhaps we should get back together again to discuss this difficult issue. Say everything and find a common solution that suits everyone. After all, Vika initially agreed to the proposal of Irina Petrovna. But now the situation has changed, and it is time to talk again. What solution would you suggest?