How to Approach Your Relatives

The wedding is a wonderful event, testifying to the emergence of a new happy family. Father-in-law and daughter-in-law Never figure in family disputes, when it comes to the relationship of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, be prepared for disagreements. Why can’t the two most beloved women – mother and wife – find a common language?





There are no perfect daughter-in-law, as well as people in general. We have different characters, worldview, and the conflict of generations is a separate conversation. Both daughter-in-law and mother-in-law need to learn to respect and understand each other. And that’s not hard if you both don’t go beyond “reasonable.” Psychologist Larisa Viktorovna Kavelina tells about these faces.

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The edges of reason

1. Separate housing. A very important component of good relations, both in your family and with your parents. If there is no such possibility and you settle in the house of your mother-in-law, you need to understand that she is the owner of this house. The daughter-in-law must respect the established customs in the family and accept the existing rules.
   
   
   
   
2. You cannot interfere with your spouse in a conflict with your mother-in-law. Attempts to set your husband against your mother-in-law will fail and will not affect your relationship with your husband in the best way. You need to understand that his mother and wife are not interchangeable people, and he should not choose between them. In extreme cases, the husband will always take the side of the mother, the closest person, and this is natural. If there is a dispute between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law, it should be settled only by the two, without resorting to the support of other family members.
   
   
   
   
3. The mother-in-law was also once a daughter-in-law, and it would be good for her to remember her relationship and mistakes in communicating with her husband's mother. Remarks and claims that concern her daughter-in-law, can not be quietly expressed to your son. This will undermine the daughter-in-law's trust in her mother-in-law. A daughter-in-law should not blame her husband's mother during family disputes.
   
   
   
   
4. When it comes to solving family problems, don’t discuss them face to face with your son. Even daughter-in-law She has the right to vote because she is a member of the family. It is best to give advice when asked. And the daughter-in-law is better to listen to her mother-in-law in household matters, because this experience can be very valuable. Ask your husband’s mother for a recipe. It will be pleasant for her, and her husband will be even more happy with your cooking.
   
   
   
   
5. Motherhood instinct is a straw that saves the relationship between the mother of the husband and his wife. You need to make it clear to your mother that you admire the intelligence and decency of your husband, and this is the merit of raising your mother-in-law, and you appreciate it.
   
   
   
   
6. When a child appears in the house, the mother-in-law becomes a grandmother, and the daughter-in-law becomes a mother. Even before the birth of the baby should discuss possible disagreements and agree that the main role in the upbringing of the child is given to mother and father, not grandmother. In general, the appearance of a baby in the house strengthens family relations, the daughter-in-law experiences maternal love, and the mother-in-law helps with practical advice, because she already had to raise a child.
   
   
   
   
7. The complex relationship of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a classic of the genre, but the most important thing is a sincere love for her husband. If you love a man, you will find many ways to live peacefully with his mother and vice versa.
   
   
   
   

Mother-in-law is not a rival, but an associate in many everyday matters, she is also a woman and loves attention, she needs communication. If you put aside prejudice and treat your new relatives positively, which is very desirable, you will be surprised how much more warmth you can get in response to your kindness.