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A few markers that your behavior becomes “vampire”
There are times when a person becomes an energy vampire.
This is a state of total emotional fatigue (emptying), when the body is no longer able to independently generate and absorb energy and goes as if to light mode - the energy of others. The same thing happens in moments of physical impotence, for example, after heavy operations, then the person is temporarily transferred to intravenous nutrition, so the analogy, I think, is understandable. But the fact that emotional exhaustion sooner or later gives the same effect is thought of little.
Emotional exhaustion arises from a lack of positive emotions and from an excess of negative ones. Sometimes just from an overabundance of manifestations of emotions around, for example, at work, where everything is constantly on edge, yelling, where someone’s capital, and maybe even life, depend on a momentary decision. This exhaustion will come the sooner when you do a lot of things, and in fact almost nothing depends on you. Sooner or later, this awareness is visited by doctors and teachers, and in principle by any employee who has been forced to work for decades for someone’s purpose, for someone’s dream.
But the same exhaustion can occur in the family. For example, if one continually oppresses his line and tyrannizes all others. Or in the house constantly speak in high tones. Or someone is seriously ill and requires constant care and supervision. In short, there are many reasons. Let's talk about what to do about it.
A person with total emotional exhaustion feels, to put it mildly, strange. First, emotional exhaustion is not the same as physical exhaustion, so a person can sleep normally, eat normally and play sports, but inside feel like a “bottomless black cosmos”, do not feel desires, do not want anything. To restore his normal state, he needs people: cheerful, easy, good-natured communication with emotionally close people, friends, but they are the ones he usually does not want to see.
Friends are attentive. Friends ask, "How are you?" Sooner or later every friend will say, ‘You’re not like that, brother.’ What’s wrong with you? and you’ll compulsively try to help, and you don’t even have an answer to the question “what’s wrong with you?” let alone “what can I do for you?” Therefore, the desire to communicate with your quickly goes away. Aliens? But strangers also demand some kind of return. And that's hard. I'll take care of myself. Therefore, people with emotional burnout sooner or later switch to one-time contacts.
Now imagine that a man or woman in this state, nevertheless, wants to build a close relationship, to start a family. After all, the desire to have a family belongs to the basic values and lies in a completely different segment of the mental than emotions. The desire to meet a loved one and the thought of “get away from me” may well exist in parallel.
How successful do you think such a person is in a relationship? Not at all! Because even if he or she manages to meet a more or less pretty person, after a few hours / days, he or she begins to annoy him or her. Irritation and fatigue come before there is a stable attachment.
A person begins to look for flaws in the other and breaks off relationships that could be promising. “I want to, but I can’t” is a trap that emotionally exhausted people fall into. Moreover, each new “can’t” is perceived as another personal failure, and of course there is a thought, and why is it all? There is a way out, for this you need to meet a person as emotionally full as you are - hungry, and how you should be fed from him. But such people are few, and therefore in personal relationships, lighters and life lovers are now more in demand than ever.
At the same time, life lovers themselves do not say that they are directly happy to share. “Well, why do I need this dull...?” asks the rhetorical question of the lifelover and goes looking for the same sparkling person. And “dull” (read, just completely tired people) go on a date with people like them and say goodbye without waiting for dessert.
By the way, when I mentioned the word vampire at the beginning of the article, it wasn’t just for attention. The fact is that the behavior of an emotionally exhausted person is really unconsciously aimed at “knocking out” the energy from others. Here are some signs that your behavior is becoming “vampire.”
1. You began to talk a lot, not paying attention to the reaction of others.
Suddenly, a topic seems so important to you that you talk, talk and talk about it, clarifying and adding details, until suddenly one of the listeners explodes and asks you to be quiet. The same thing can happen on the Internet. You engage in active correspondence with someone, plow fire, can not stop, grab the phone to speak more... Then comes self-disappointment, fatigue, you make promises not to do it again, but one spark is enough to light up again.
2. You noticed that you began to provoke loved ones to flashes of emotions.
You know exactly what pain points to press to play out a small “teledrama” and standard do it, hating yourself. Protracted scandals do not bring you relief, but give you a feeling of at least some life and at least some way out of an intolerable situation. By the way, you do not know the unbearable in it either, but you think that something must be changed. You are thinking about moving, divorcing or breaking up without any objective reason.
3. You began to approach people, places and opportunities in terms of energy expenditure.
You choose communication on the principle of “this definitely will not sit on my ears”, and there I will go, because there you can have a great sleep and do not have to be too upset for your appearance. An emotionally charged person does not approach the choice from the point of view of energy. Normally, we don’t think about it at all. We are governed by very different things: interest, attachment, attraction and more. But even if on a dating site you look at the region in which a pretty person lives and figure out whether to contact such a distance, then your “battery” is seriously hooked and it needs a charge.
4. Your values are undergoing serious processing.
You think that others get a lot easily and it resents you, you dream of learning to refuse without regret, you dream of a person who will solve all your problems and a job where you can do nothing and get a lot of babble. No matter how cynical your thoughts may be, believe me now it is a cry for help from an exhausted body. You need to feed it with emotions and you will look at life differently.
There are other criteria for exhaustion. For example, the desire to be alone and the inability to be alone (let people be somewhere near, but not with me). Poor sleep with constant awakening and the absence of once permanent dreams. Difficulty choosing anything from the place of residence and work to the dish in the restaurant. And much more.
About vampirism, I must add...
Most people begin to feel like a vampire and consciously avoid you. You are less and less invited to visit and parties, no longer meet and even just talk strangers and strangers. With you less and less want sex, regular partners prefer to just lie down and watch a movie.
If you have small children, then in your presence they are likely to be much more capricious and excited faster. And animals, devoted and selfless creatures, are much more likely to come to you to sleep or climb on your knees.
What to do in a situation where you are emotionally exhausted and become unbearable even to yourself? I'll write some recommendations, and you can figure out what you can do with it.
1. Get rid of the devourers of strength and emotions.
Neglect contacts with emotional aggressors, decide to look for a new job, if it became quite sick to go to it. Get out of where it's not good. Health is more important, and the next step after burnout is the destruction of the psyche.
2. Try to do only what pleases you..
Sure, there are things that make you incredibly tired, but you do them out of inertia because you have to. Sometimes it’s easier to buy a dishwasher than to ask kids to clean up after them every morning. Sometimes it’s easier to call your mother than to wait for her to call and listen to the next one: “You don’t love us at all!” Is that clear? Rethink your life!
3. Be consistent.
Try not to take on a lot of things, and finish one to the end and then start the second. The same goes for relationships. Be with the one who is right next to you. Do not think with Petya about Misha, with Misha about Kola and so on. Take everything from each communication and try to give at least a little in response.
4. Don't plan the future.
Plans for which there is no energy are even more annoying and create a sense of hopelessness. Live one day, plan for a short period and it will be easier.
5. Relax emotionally.
Look for something that might make you happy, and do it even if you’re not used to it. Go on weekends to country hotels, burn candles in the house, allow yourself a glass of delicious wine to watch a good series. Between an ordinary evening and an unusual evening, there is not so much difference. It is to diversify this evening with something beautiful and tasty.
6. Look for people with live emotions and communicate with them.
Don’t think, “I can’t do it like them!”, think, “What are they doing different than me?” Fill them with optimism and optimism. They are usually willing to give you a little.
7. Think about what your body wants and give it.
Someone needs a hard massage, and someone relaxes, someone yearns for a hot wet bath, and someone to spread a lizard over hot stones. For the joy of the body, sometimes it is enough to buy yourself new high-quality bedding and change the pillow. Find your joy and allow yourself it.
8. Finally, you may have heard that there is such a method as body-oriented therapy. It is better than other methods that affect the body and psyche, relieves emotional tension and restores energy balance. If there is a place in your city to get bodily therapy, contact it. This is the best way to get back to yourself quickly.
Author: Elena Shubina, body therapist
P.S. And remember, just changing our consumption – together we change the world!
Credit /users/26725-elena-shubina
This is a state of total emotional fatigue (emptying), when the body is no longer able to independently generate and absorb energy and goes as if to light mode - the energy of others. The same thing happens in moments of physical impotence, for example, after heavy operations, then the person is temporarily transferred to intravenous nutrition, so the analogy, I think, is understandable. But the fact that emotional exhaustion sooner or later gives the same effect is thought of little.
Emotional exhaustion arises from a lack of positive emotions and from an excess of negative ones. Sometimes just from an overabundance of manifestations of emotions around, for example, at work, where everything is constantly on edge, yelling, where someone’s capital, and maybe even life, depend on a momentary decision. This exhaustion will come the sooner when you do a lot of things, and in fact almost nothing depends on you. Sooner or later, this awareness is visited by doctors and teachers, and in principle by any employee who has been forced to work for decades for someone’s purpose, for someone’s dream.
But the same exhaustion can occur in the family. For example, if one continually oppresses his line and tyrannizes all others. Or in the house constantly speak in high tones. Or someone is seriously ill and requires constant care and supervision. In short, there are many reasons. Let's talk about what to do about it.
A person with total emotional exhaustion feels, to put it mildly, strange. First, emotional exhaustion is not the same as physical exhaustion, so a person can sleep normally, eat normally and play sports, but inside feel like a “bottomless black cosmos”, do not feel desires, do not want anything. To restore his normal state, he needs people: cheerful, easy, good-natured communication with emotionally close people, friends, but they are the ones he usually does not want to see.
Friends are attentive. Friends ask, "How are you?" Sooner or later every friend will say, ‘You’re not like that, brother.’ What’s wrong with you? and you’ll compulsively try to help, and you don’t even have an answer to the question “what’s wrong with you?” let alone “what can I do for you?” Therefore, the desire to communicate with your quickly goes away. Aliens? But strangers also demand some kind of return. And that's hard. I'll take care of myself. Therefore, people with emotional burnout sooner or later switch to one-time contacts.
Now imagine that a man or woman in this state, nevertheless, wants to build a close relationship, to start a family. After all, the desire to have a family belongs to the basic values and lies in a completely different segment of the mental than emotions. The desire to meet a loved one and the thought of “get away from me” may well exist in parallel.
How successful do you think such a person is in a relationship? Not at all! Because even if he or she manages to meet a more or less pretty person, after a few hours / days, he or she begins to annoy him or her. Irritation and fatigue come before there is a stable attachment.
A person begins to look for flaws in the other and breaks off relationships that could be promising. “I want to, but I can’t” is a trap that emotionally exhausted people fall into. Moreover, each new “can’t” is perceived as another personal failure, and of course there is a thought, and why is it all? There is a way out, for this you need to meet a person as emotionally full as you are - hungry, and how you should be fed from him. But such people are few, and therefore in personal relationships, lighters and life lovers are now more in demand than ever.
At the same time, life lovers themselves do not say that they are directly happy to share. “Well, why do I need this dull...?” asks the rhetorical question of the lifelover and goes looking for the same sparkling person. And “dull” (read, just completely tired people) go on a date with people like them and say goodbye without waiting for dessert.
By the way, when I mentioned the word vampire at the beginning of the article, it wasn’t just for attention. The fact is that the behavior of an emotionally exhausted person is really unconsciously aimed at “knocking out” the energy from others. Here are some signs that your behavior is becoming “vampire.”
1. You began to talk a lot, not paying attention to the reaction of others.
Suddenly, a topic seems so important to you that you talk, talk and talk about it, clarifying and adding details, until suddenly one of the listeners explodes and asks you to be quiet. The same thing can happen on the Internet. You engage in active correspondence with someone, plow fire, can not stop, grab the phone to speak more... Then comes self-disappointment, fatigue, you make promises not to do it again, but one spark is enough to light up again.
2. You noticed that you began to provoke loved ones to flashes of emotions.
You know exactly what pain points to press to play out a small “teledrama” and standard do it, hating yourself. Protracted scandals do not bring you relief, but give you a feeling of at least some life and at least some way out of an intolerable situation. By the way, you do not know the unbearable in it either, but you think that something must be changed. You are thinking about moving, divorcing or breaking up without any objective reason.
3. You began to approach people, places and opportunities in terms of energy expenditure.
You choose communication on the principle of “this definitely will not sit on my ears”, and there I will go, because there you can have a great sleep and do not have to be too upset for your appearance. An emotionally charged person does not approach the choice from the point of view of energy. Normally, we don’t think about it at all. We are governed by very different things: interest, attachment, attraction and more. But even if on a dating site you look at the region in which a pretty person lives and figure out whether to contact such a distance, then your “battery” is seriously hooked and it needs a charge.
4. Your values are undergoing serious processing.
You think that others get a lot easily and it resents you, you dream of learning to refuse without regret, you dream of a person who will solve all your problems and a job where you can do nothing and get a lot of babble. No matter how cynical your thoughts may be, believe me now it is a cry for help from an exhausted body. You need to feed it with emotions and you will look at life differently.
There are other criteria for exhaustion. For example, the desire to be alone and the inability to be alone (let people be somewhere near, but not with me). Poor sleep with constant awakening and the absence of once permanent dreams. Difficulty choosing anything from the place of residence and work to the dish in the restaurant. And much more.
About vampirism, I must add...
Most people begin to feel like a vampire and consciously avoid you. You are less and less invited to visit and parties, no longer meet and even just talk strangers and strangers. With you less and less want sex, regular partners prefer to just lie down and watch a movie.
If you have small children, then in your presence they are likely to be much more capricious and excited faster. And animals, devoted and selfless creatures, are much more likely to come to you to sleep or climb on your knees.
What to do in a situation where you are emotionally exhausted and become unbearable even to yourself? I'll write some recommendations, and you can figure out what you can do with it.
1. Get rid of the devourers of strength and emotions.
Neglect contacts with emotional aggressors, decide to look for a new job, if it became quite sick to go to it. Get out of where it's not good. Health is more important, and the next step after burnout is the destruction of the psyche.
2. Try to do only what pleases you..
Sure, there are things that make you incredibly tired, but you do them out of inertia because you have to. Sometimes it’s easier to buy a dishwasher than to ask kids to clean up after them every morning. Sometimes it’s easier to call your mother than to wait for her to call and listen to the next one: “You don’t love us at all!” Is that clear? Rethink your life!
3. Be consistent.
Try not to take on a lot of things, and finish one to the end and then start the second. The same goes for relationships. Be with the one who is right next to you. Do not think with Petya about Misha, with Misha about Kola and so on. Take everything from each communication and try to give at least a little in response.
4. Don't plan the future.
Plans for which there is no energy are even more annoying and create a sense of hopelessness. Live one day, plan for a short period and it will be easier.
5. Relax emotionally.
Look for something that might make you happy, and do it even if you’re not used to it. Go on weekends to country hotels, burn candles in the house, allow yourself a glass of delicious wine to watch a good series. Between an ordinary evening and an unusual evening, there is not so much difference. It is to diversify this evening with something beautiful and tasty.
6. Look for people with live emotions and communicate with them.
Don’t think, “I can’t do it like them!”, think, “What are they doing different than me?” Fill them with optimism and optimism. They are usually willing to give you a little.
7. Think about what your body wants and give it.
Someone needs a hard massage, and someone relaxes, someone yearns for a hot wet bath, and someone to spread a lizard over hot stones. For the joy of the body, sometimes it is enough to buy yourself new high-quality bedding and change the pillow. Find your joy and allow yourself it.
8. Finally, you may have heard that there is such a method as body-oriented therapy. It is better than other methods that affect the body and psyche, relieves emotional tension and restores energy balance. If there is a place in your city to get bodily therapy, contact it. This is the best way to get back to yourself quickly.
Author: Elena Shubina, body therapist
P.S. And remember, just changing our consumption – together we change the world!
Credit /users/26725-elena-shubina
