I made the mother of all... an hour and a half screaming into the phone.
When once again she gave me his "wisdom" about the fact that the husband necessary to "herd" not to have withdrawn the other young Yes early, I was chosen. Choosing how to react: I had a few seconds to choose from.
I could once again freeze and skip past the ears of her pearl, but this time I ....didn't want to. Didn't want familiar to swallow to plug up, to build up resentment.Damn, to build nothing, I have all consist of hard feelings and dashed hopes!
I said I believe my husband, and we didn't have such a relationship, as she thinks.
Mom missed a deaf ear to my answer, and said: "That's always the case. Mischievous and the mother does not listen."
You know, this is a typical case. She doesn't listen, she can't hear. She has her own view of the world, and in my she doesn't even want to enter. You know me... You know the pain it causes me.
It hurts that the mother is – that she is alive, talking, and sometimes even asks how you're doing. Yes, but she's ready to hear very little. What in me, passes through its filters, and everything from her ruthlessly discarded.
I have long been estranged. I have no desire to maintain a relationship with her – is that what happens between us, you can call a relationship? I exist for her, as a person , only in a very narrow range of needs.
Know what you have done our therapy?I am more open to their needs. And more and more realize that they are hungry and sick.
And the more I care, the more hunger and pain.And what do I do with this?
All I've done so far – I kept this pain inside. Pain, resentment, anger, and other passions. I tried to tell myself that my mother did not hear, her limitations, and all to no avail.But the need in the mother is not going away!
I expressed everything. About the fact that I removed, because it denies me the right to be themselves. When she tried to answer something like: "All that lived, I had to work," I experienced anger. Because it was justified, but did not take responsibility: don't regret what I missed, and what you took from me.
Then, after the conversation, I still felt relieved. You know, I have little to complain about you: though you understand what my suffering, you're not my mother, and can't affect our relationship.I brought my feelings in our mother space... to whom they were intended. I think the only way to feel the real relief spoke out against the one to whom I feel so many emotions.
After all, I was convinced that mom is deaf and blind, and there is no hope. Despair swept over me. Despair and bitterness. Then I felt sorry for his mother how much she has missed in her life... She don't know me. She doesn't know herself.
I thought that all my family function in a world where no feelings and needs, but there is good and bad. And with them it is absolutely impossible to be around.
The last thought that came to me was this: despite the fact that there is no hope, and we did not meet with my closest people,I don't want to be a victim.
I recognize the limitations of my mother's real. I admit that there is no hope. Now, there is no need to wait, I'm free!I choose relationships with those people who, like me, have access to their needs and feelings, and we can meet in person.
Author: Veronica Brown
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind - together we change the world! ©