Dad, help me feel valuable!
Work with the paternal themes in a therapeutic group – a test not for the faint of heart.
Every time, collecting his father's group, I'm preparing for the worst: what the mines have to come? What fountains of pain will seep out? What old wounds will be opened?All of his father's famous themes:
protection, recognition, values, achievements, recognition, dignity, and femininity/masculinity.And, alas, rare people escaped injury
Rare people without mental damages of different severity...Dad, admit me!
There is a kind of denial...
There is a kind of non-recognition, which leaves you space to live.
No, physically you live, but you is still there. Not you as a person.
Rights and you are not.
No right to Express themselves. No right to present himself, no right to want.
No right when you're not acknowledged as a son or daughter.
...This is a very deep wound. A very serious injury. It strikes the father when he says, "You're not my son. You're not my daughter."
With this injury you become the eternal wanderer in search of recognition, you're trying to earn it, to earn it... It's important for you to earn, for only when you recognize you will. Only then will you have the right to breathe... to walk the earth. You will have the right.
You to turn out inside out, or become invisible... All in vain.
You're between a rock and a hard place; get only what you fear most...
Someone else who recognized, will be treated kindly attention and support, but not you.
No matter how you try.Daddy, protect me!
It is not so important whether the father physically or not;
The most important was his intention to get me on your side. The important thing is whether it allows that you might need it, and assuming it is, your father supports you.
Whether he is ready to personally threaten the offenders, teach you to fight back, to intervene, whether in the case of family fights, where you tangle in a web of guilt or duty, or just taking your fear, help you to find a way out, cheer up...
When you're small, helpless and weak, you need your father who is stronger than you. Strong, righteous father will give you a lifetime right to protect yourself.
If this has not happened, you weren't protected, you're doomed to be afraid of those who reminds you big or strong, adults or even children. You'll be afraid of those who feared in childhood. Dad, talk to me!
"My father was always silent; as if it was not.
All in the family taxiing and ran mother, she possessed the real power in the family; father was a hybrid wedding General and the shade of hamlet's father, he was unreachable.
Perhaps, as a child, I suffered greatly, finding the father in the eternal emotional coma, but then got used...
I lost it, never having had; only now do I realize the pain I've caused.
Probably because it is emotionally open with people I feel safe, but in the relationship that creates itself, I am very closed, unavailable. I again suffer from a lack of communication."The absent father is always nagging bruise in the soul;
In the future, when you yourself are going to create relationships, you will alternately
To suffer from "absence", the distancing partner or
He will become so avoidant, held a "father".
You will play these roles interchangeably, and you'll helplessly watch
how are your own relationships are melting, thinning from lack of intimacy, trust, warmth. Dad, take responsibility!
"Dad left us with mom and gone", "Daddy drank"; "Daddy lied, did not keep a single word"....When the father of a small child, someone needs to grow up.
This adult is the son or daughter; they learn to take responsibility, taking care of this dad, or mom and dad, or mom, dad and brothers and sisters.
Life becomes a service, which is impossible to avoid, loneliness, emotional hunger and longing are driven deeper, and skills, serious, responsible.... a Hyper-responsible person and grow stronger.
In the end we are sad, tired, muddled the working horse, which has no self-worth except how to plow and work hard. This horse respects himself (and others) only for the same ability, it also expects that its free, and does not believe that liberation is possible.....They are all waiting for.
All expect that it will happen that someone will gaff, return, answer, someone will protect, recognize, make life interesting.
People locked in cages of their past, their memory gives them no chance at salvation.
Because it was not, they remain Victims. The victims live in cages, suffer, and do not know how to get out.
They spend all their power to convince yourself that the cell well (go into imagination and rationalization) or struggling to respect myself for my Hyper-responsibility, secretly or openly rejecting the sybarites; they forbid themselves to want to go out, suppressing their own personal "want"....
They crave to be freed by the parent, in this case the father, who, as adults, accept responsibility for your feelings, your actions, your life.
And as an adult, I will say:
"I'm sorry, I didn't cope with my life...
It's not your fault.
Have the right to... live as I see fit."
All prisoners are waiting for this release. Even those who are no longer alive.
Scenario prevailed for a long time and work flawlessly.
The prisoners themselves are not ready to free themselves.
Dad, be strong, and then I will become weak, your baby
Dad, take responsibility for mom, and then I can live my life separately from her
Dad, I want to honor you, to respect you
Father, help me to feel valuable
Daddy, protect me...
Author: Veronica Brown
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind - together we change the world! ©