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Not received in time to permit blocks of action. Creates dissatisfaction with life, irritation of the surrounding world. This is a terrible and nasty as I want in life is something else, sometimes it is not clear what, sometimes quite clear, but... scary.



"I would like to find another job, but I'm afraid that I won't make fun of"

"I really want to work for a new profession, but somehow it seems to me that it is not useful, useless I'll be left with nothing"

"I want to work on more interesting posts in our structure, but I'm scared to tell, scared of failing"

These fears inhibit actions that are not allowed to stick out of the nose and are forced to suffer. Forced to suffer a lack of money, lack of recognition, a sense of failure to implement;

Hence a lot of irritation, feelings of meaninglessness and emptiness.

...Desire to stand out clearly and unequivocally to Express themselves, their abilities and talents "in charge of" our children's part.

In it, in this part of the is born the desire to create, to bring into this world something of their own, to change their participation, the child fearlessly, confidently and persistently brings the world of himself... Until he's stopped.

While he does not say that his efforts are far from ideal, that it is not what you need, or engaged in worse than the neighborhood of Masha and Vanya.

Until he says that he doesn't work out, no matter how he tried, and that little did these all do not have enough space...

And, perhaps, the kid will try again or two until enough forces of his childhood, but, being without support, it will leave your efforts. He firmly learn why you can't put out, he'll learn to slow himself down.

... Ensuring his security, he would be jealous of Masha and Vanya and many others who are not so afraid, take its place under the sun without regard for their imperfections.

People suppress their aspirations, their need to make themselves in this world will remain the same dull, angry, tired, unsatisfied.

And, if you do not revise the meaning of his self-suppression, does not understand its origin, and will remain in the thrall of the child's fear to stumble upon parental disapproval of their activity is a completely natural and legitimate.

....They don't immediately find this relationship. They don't immediately associate their adult helplessness in the face of fear to present himself with his childish helplessness in the face of parental assessment.

They don't just remember these smiles, these as if for the benefit of the advice of these accusations-depreciation, this is badly perceived aggression in his address...

They don't immediately realize that shackled by fear to stand out parents and caregivers actively promoted the new suppression of new children.

Clear messages are remembered easier:

"Well, what theater Institute? You need to get a normal job that will feed!"

"Why are you wasting so much time ...... (dancing, painting, sport, ets. ) Learn better!"

Hidden messages have the most powerful impact and they are extremely difficult "to expose".

Hidden messages are heard by way to live: it is difficult, on the verge of survival;

When teachers barely make ends meet is not due to the military siege or occupation, but by his unconscious choice.

In such families the child does not dare to even think about their desires:

How is that possible if I sacrificed so much?

And takes his life all the same model: I can be good, will be accepted only if sacrifice.



...Is that an unconscious parent is competing with the child for a place the "cool" in the family.

Such a child not only receives the necessary support in the self,

But receives in addition a lot of hidden aggression and inability to outperform them.

...The complex relationship between brothers and sisters also bring a lot of Shadows.

At its core is a competitive relationship, through which, with the support of parents, children might learn important experience competitive interaction.

In reality, sibling relationships are often traumatic: when an older child watching younger easily gets what he himself is given with great effort – including the recognition of his merits and talents,

And the youngest is forced to "hold" all the discontent older, getting into his personal history, the fear of a loved figure, who throws him his discontent.

In adult life, seniors often deal with the fact that their "bypass" on turn more "clever", but "less worthy", and the younger are afraid to put out — out of fear of aggression in the address.

...Not received in time to permit self-expression becomes a real life drama.

Once the natural desire to Express themselves in this world was torn, prohibited, taboo, braided in a thick layer of fear, shame and guilt, the restraint of self-manifestation;

And resentment and suppressed rage on those who wish it banned.

Inner child, children still need permission to Express themselves.

In some people the situation comes to a deadlock:

Because of the total distrust of the world (initially to parents)

They can't assign that right from the outside.

They can't hear messages from the world:

"You got it", "I see that you have strengths and talents and are already getting a lot from you", etc.

And they are also difficult to assign its right inside because now the domestic Parent is not sleeping and continues to intimidate, to depress, to deprive of the rights.

Such people are especially important to restore the relationship, to detect the source of internal self-suppression, to associate with the original cause, authorisati what they got (has not got)

To Express in a confidential space of therapy your anger, be sure of the absoluteness of their rights to self-presentation, assign – with the support of a therapist (healthy parent figures) their rights.

Try to Express yourself in life, when faced with their fear, anxiety, and other emotions, releasing them, to assign their rights irrevocably.published

 

Author: Veronica Brown

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: veronikahlebova.livejournal.com/24375.html