8 problem child at school: says family psychologist Catherine Burmistrov Bashny.Net

From unmade lessons to conflict in the family h2>

Preparation homework h3> Basic practice during our growing up has been the same: "You yourself make lessons and if you will have difficulty - you ask me and I'll help you. " Now, the whole system of education in primary schools is designed for what parents should do the lessons with the child.

And then there is a dilemma: how to make sure that the child successfully mastered the curriculum, though:

• Very much changed the program - even in Russian, math and reading.
• changed greatly initial level of knowledge of children of first-graders - many schools are waiting for the children already know how to read. < The teaching of a foreign language begins with the 1-2 class, the programs are designed that their child will learn to help an adult, but most of us started learning the language with the 4-5 class.
• In Russia, sharply increased the number of non-working mothers, who are willing to devote all his time to the child, which was a schoolboy, bringing down the level of independence of children. Nobody goes with the key around his neck and warms himself lunch.
  
  • uncomfortable for parents, as make them directly responsible for the success of the children's learning.
  • In the long term is very adversely affect the relationship between parents and children.
  • Decrease autonomy in primary school slows willful maturation of children, reduces the motivation to learn until the complete unwillingness to learn, and it is impossible to do it on their own - without parental prodding and seating mother next. Who is the first parent-teacher conferences in the first grade teacher directly warn parents that they now have to learn along with the children.
    
    Teachers, by default, assume that you are all primary school will be responsible for the quality and quantity of the preparation of homework. If earlier the task of the teacher was - to teach, but now the task of the teacher - to the task, and the task of parents (presumably) - to perform these tasks.
    
    In a foreign language program all drawn up so that the child they basically can not do it without an adult. Roughly: "I do not understand - the fool. I explain the material, and if the child does not understand - either go to extra classes or parents explain. " < To this situation we must be prepared.
    
    So parents need to sit down and do homework with the first-graders, second-graders, third grade, fourth grade. But now comes a very early ripening, and in 9-10 years you can watch all the symptoms of adolescence. For grades 5-6 the opportunity - to sit and do homework with your child - you have lost. This situation has become impossible, and for four years the child will get used to, that the mother is responsible for the lessons, and he take that responsibility can not and does not know how.
    
    You can keep the cost of losing the relationship make it up to 14-15 years, until enough forces. The conflict will be delayed for several years, and the child will still not be able to answer for their jobs. In 14-15 years, the protest will have very bright - and a rupture of relations.
    
    There are indicators that children who were almost honors in elementary school, because for them did everything mom and dad in high school dramatically reduces the study, because help is to take not ready, and the ability and skills to learn - not.
    
    This system imposed a number of primary school teachers - that the child is doing at home is perfect, that is, with the help of parents.
    
    If a child falls behind, the teacher can show the parents claim: nedosmatrivaete! Only old experienced teachers adhere to the classical system - that the child did everything himself, even with errors, and are ready to teach and correct.
    
    

    «How are we doing?» h2>

    The formation of proper training stereotype h3>
    
    It is necessary to understand how a teacher you have to deal with what his position is. and, depending on the hardness of this position, bend the line of independence.
    
    The most important thing, so you can teach a child in elementary school - a responsibility, ability to work and the possibility to take the job as your.
    
    First, if you are moving in line with the formation of independent study, you will be lower academic performance. Particularly acute lack of independence have formed the only children in the family, and here you need to be especially careful.
    
    The child writes his first hook - and immediately subjected to pressure parents: "Do not be led to the handle! You're kidding over us! You'll be a janitor! ". The level of motivation of the child low - level of motivation among parents rolls.
    
    A school teacher says, "Why is the child does not come out the connection of letters?". Do not you come to the teacher, and it makes you learn with your child. After explaining the material in school, it assumes that you'll be doing on a regular basis and advise what to do. And form stable lexical bunch of "How are we doing?", Talking about the continuing symbiosis of mother and child. Then, in class 9, the child says, "I do not know who I want to be," - he has not had the feeling of being in school.
    
    If the child is at all times to insure he did not learn how to do something on their own, he knows that "mom think of something," that in any situation parents find a way out.
    
    But parents often fear there: «Do not pour out to teach to the child's self-sufficiency in the confrontation with the teacher, with the system?»
    
    First may be the backlog, but then the child succeeds. There is a loss of the original, but there is this loss of 4-5 class. If during this period of excellent performance artificial falls sharply, the academic performance of these children increases dramatically.
    
    There are children who still need help. These children are chronically scattered, the child "is not here" in their thoughts (although within the normal range).
    
    These children need to help a little more. If the child has, in principle, have the ability to self-organization, they need to include. The issue with the lessons very simple: either he would take responsibility for them, or not take.
    
    The picture is quite early, even with the "training." It is best to create conditions for the emergence of self-reliance, and the need to build the right educational stereotype associated with the lessons.
    
    

    School characters h2>

    When many teachers h3> The child is easier to get used to one teacher, who is a few items. If the teachers are different, you need to help your child find their way, "the name of any aunt." Aunts are different, they have a middle name, patronymic and first-graders to understand difficult - it is difficult to remember, hard to say.
    
    There may be need some kind of home training: cutouts aunt-so - it is mathematics, her name is-so.
    
    It should also help the child to learn the names of classmates. As long as the child does not know the name of classmates and teachers, he feels uncomfortable.
    
    Focusing on the child's ability to help remember "school of characters" - children and adults - it is an important task of the parent.
    
    

    Daily care h2>

    school children to help organize the process of education h3> If you have a family there are children's chores, if you have at least some semblance of the regime or the rhythm of life, there kakaya- the daily chain of events that repeats (about the same time stand up, lie down at the same time) - the child will be easier to get used to the rhythm of the school.
    
    Domestic duties are trained to take on daily responsibilities. And there are very good flowers and pets, taking out the trash - something that should be done regularly. Flowers visibly wither, cats meow and ask for a drink and a trash can not be used. Adults should not "save" a child and did not perform the duties instead.
    
    At the time of entering the school the child should have regular duties, he does daily
    schoolboy useful:
    
    himself to be able to pack up for classes in sections and fold the bag. It is necessary to begin to do the year before school - at least. In boys, it is generally fared worse than girls. At first, the child will do it with your help, with a prompt sequence. As long as a child can not read, you can hang on a wall painted a list of what should be in the portfolio. If the child has forgotten something, do not necessarily need to correct him: let it once would be missing from the subject, but will be able to remember it. If you know that the child will still forget something at home, it is possible to check list Know where lies the clothing and footwear for school. It must assess the clothes clean or dirty, dirty clean to dirty laundry. Here, too, responsibility is generated: no big deal, see your clothes for stains. «Kids Time Management»: is not just to bring the portfolio, but also to come to class on time. This is a basic skill, without which the start of school is very difficult. To form this skill, which will stupenechkoy to the next, should also not one class, and the year before it, when the class is quite relaxed and not in the morning. Know which days there is any training. To do this, use a well-calendars. You can write a day, which in this day class, paint them in different colors, so that the child knew what to collect. If you do not have time to give your child all of these skills to school, do the same thing in one class.
    
    

    How to make the lessons h2>

    School Time Management h3> In order to do homework, to be a certain time. It should be full-time schedule: wake up, wash, dress - canvas days and the allotted time - do your homework.
    
    Child easier when all rhythmically. There is a dynamic stereotype (according to Pavlov) - reaction system at a time: a child is preparing to advance to the next step.
    
    Such a system is simpler for approximately 85% of children who are classified as "rhythmic". There are 15% bezritmovyh with chaotic time dispensation. They can be seen from infancy, so they remain in school.
    
    After school should be an hour of rest (this rule should be observed), and then can occur the lessons
    A child can show schedule dads, mums in a weekly journal, diary, and then write his schedule, to explain what happens in people, and it is - an attribute of adulthood. All attribute of adulthood - all preferably.
    
    One of the diseases of our time - lessons spread over an inordinate amount of time. This means that people do not do simple actions to help yourself and your child, and.
    
    You have to know that the child does not feel time. 6-7 year old child being so, as adults, do not feel, he does not know how much time passed. The longer a child is sitting at the lessons, the lower his efficiency. Norma doing lessons for first-graders: 40 minutes - 1 hour;
    Grade 2 - 1 hour - 1, 5 hours;
    Grade 3-4 - 1 5 - 2 hours (not 5:00);
    5-6 to the class of this rule goes to 2-3 hours.
    
    but more than 3, 5 hours is not to be spent on lessons.
    
    If a child does his homework for longer, it is not taught to work, or he - chronic "brake", and they especially need to learn to work well. The child does not feel the time, and parents should help him time to feel.
    
    Adequate time doing lessons for first-graders - 20-25 minutes for podgotovishki even less - about 15 minutes, for children exhaustible - maybe even less.
    
    But if you're a child seated on time more than you need, you're just wasting your time - and his own, and his. With lessons, you can not help, but with the "time management" still stands.
    
    In order to feel the moment, there are different ways to help the child. For example, various kinds of timers:
    
    

  • may be the hourglass (not suitable for dreamers - dreamers will look like pours sand);
• may be electronic devices that will beep after a certain time;

lessons with enthusiasm? h2> What is - homework? Continuing what has been at the school or a separate case at home?

Psychologically - a skill training: in the classroom told the houses themselves have worked. If there is a strong lack of success, it is best to treat it as something, and then life begins. Wait for the enthusiasm of a child is not necessary (although there are some children - potential honors). We must learn to relate to the lessons as an intermediate step, even fun - to work hard and then it will be a joy. If you can not form another stereotype (lessons until late with tears and curses), then this is enough.

Assignments can not duplicate (add over a given) - they have to be small to maintained the desire to learn, the child is not overworked. All of the "transition" is much more dangerous than the "under-».

Usually, the child is able to keep my desk for 15-20 minutes, and there is a skill to do their homework in the tempo. If the child does not have time in the allotted time, and my mother is sitting on it, and catches continue to make, the student receives a negative experience. Our task is not to torture the child and let him know that he was missing something.

If your child to school face constraints of time - on some classes, he was going to, or engaged in a particular activity in a clearly designated time frame, he has already formed some skill.

The first encounter in class 1 with these complex temporal skills can be a big problem. Starting with the best "training", and even better from 5 years - 5, 5.









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