"I BLINDED HIM FROM WHAT WAS going on, AND "WHAT" have MARRIED off"IN my practice, I often see stories like the young girl "took her husband" have a young man or a coeval, but not really Mature, maybe even someone older but not very experienced in matters of family life. This happens not only with women, but let's first of them.
Some people believe that you can find something valuable in going against the will of the other person, but it seems to me that it is not. Getting what you want doesn't always mean victory, as well as the loss of something meaningful does not necessarily lead to defeat. The wise life for everyone there are lessons of growth, but we somehow think that we most certainly will be able to outwit. That's unlikely...
Woman think that if you insist on the wedding, appealing to the guilt of the young man, saying that five years at the brides go, my parents are waiting, shame on you, you promised, it is time, age, etc., then she will get the happiness, but what happiness can be with someone who is committed and not dosri to them
Sooner or later internal dissatisfaction will result in some conflict, internal boy husband finally grows up, and decides to arrange... teenage rebellion. And to parents, and to his wife, and in relation to the rest of the world. He decides to become independent, to do what he thinks is right, often the man begins to look around, to be aggressive, to step back and strongly demonstrate that "there was no need to force me to do what I wanted."More "good and faithful" method to marry a man is, "Oh, I accidentally got pregnant".
Sometimes life itself is, of course, throws this test two not very Mature partners, but that's a topic for another article, but here I write about how women are trying to bind to a man with a baby, sometimes it works. This is happiness in the family and the addition to one adult immature forcibly married the baby is added to the second! As well, Gospodinova what else you can wish for in this life?! Child "for yourself" and the appearance of strong family happiness. What often happens in this case?
All the same. A man or live your entire life unfulfilled wallflower, crushed first, a dominant mother and then a wife, or indulges in all serious, causing your pet a lot of pain. But otherwise, "hurt hurts", as we remember, and to heal can only be healed.
You can "take a husband" to a young and inexperienced boy, "to grow it for themselves", and have no intention of leaving where I am now forever his benefactress to cause happiness. But, wanting to tie someone to his strength and eternal stability and security, is unlikely to be the scenario that seemed ideal initially.To keep the power of the impossible, the force you can only obtain the visibility relations, which is what happens often in these pairs.
Visible level one, and behind other women, other dreams, other fantasies.
I don't know, whether there are at least some of the immediate benefits that by force or cunning wish to get your life of any man? What can result from a Union in which initially there are two not very healthy and not very Mature person. Fears, doubts, hypocrisy, the growing internal dissatisfaction, the eternal game that "all is well", the concern "what if one leaves?", attempts to obtain much happiness from someone who himself is not particularly happy. In the end, scandals, grudges, quarrels, tears, fleeting joy, and "back routine", sometimes alcohol and drugs.
Surely, a woman plays a very important role in the growth and development of men, and that's fine. Anyway behind every man stands a woman — mother, aunt, sister, and later wife, and it is very good, we are all here for each other, we help each other to grow, to tear the world a new way. Women help a man like a woman, men help women manly.But the Union of two people is not a prison, it should not be a prison.
Attempts to break, to crush, to control the dreams and desires of another person only lead to the fact that people get tired of each other and may not feel happy. In such families suffer not only husband and wife but also children, children-what to do, it doesn't disappear.
Of course, the elders should guide the younger in their development, but education of a serious nature should be carried out long before the creation of the family, what to make now of the man to commit? I'm not saying that you need to cater to the weaknesses of young people, but if we find ourselves in a situation where to have a kid and one of the partners is not ready, so maybe it makes sense to direct all the forces to help in its development, overcoming fears, self-knowledge, not to push and force to make a decision by force?If a man is younger, he is like a woman, even if it is the same age or older, but not ready for the family, so it may be better to honestly deal with them, simultaneously helping your man understand themselves, to understand their fears and limitations?
Help him to find direction in life, to inspire them to overcome difficulties, not "to wait, well, when he's already ripe, my life will pass", and ask yourself, do I like this person, or only playing what you love?
If it's about real love, that is, whether the difference, he will remain close after "ripen" or choose to move on your way? Is there a difference, he will understand that "serious" or say that was not ready? Is there a difference, he will say "Yes" or "no" if it's about real love, including yourself?If you love yourself, then surely you will live near someone who is limited your decision? And if you like it, then what's the point to keep in a cage who needs to spread their wings in full force?
Moms, dads, uncles, aunts, older and younger, family and their opinion is undoubtedly very important. But the most important thing in a relationship is the willingness to take responsibility for himself, ready to meet a loved one, a willingness to be sincere, loyal and loving partner.
And how can he be loving if he was not given and did not help to turn into one? And if people learned to love and chose you for real, then why do we need strength?
With women, with parents, children, business partners, investors, managers and subordinates all the same. If the person is not ready, if afraid of any changes, if trying to delay the adoption of important decisions, if in doubt, if cheating, if running away and hiding, if suspended, if closed, if despair, then... what is the meaning of pressure?
What can you get as a result of this decision? Isn't it better to expand a little and to understand (finally!) with what is happening in my life, why I attracted this situation and such a person, why would I want to use force where necessary love. I would love to obtain power? I think not.
Author: Dean Richards
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©