Take care of yourself. Not a husband.

A harmonious relationship always begins with a harmonious woman. Not with the skills of manipulation, not with the secret techniques of holding and marrying, not with self-torture from the textbook for future wives. Nope. Only a harmonious woman can build a harmonious relationship. Period. No other way.

When a woman is happy with herself, when she is not afraid of loneliness and can occupy herself so that she is interested, when she has adequate self-esteem and self-esteem, when she knows herself, her needs, when she is peaceful and calm, when she knows exactly what she wants, only then the relationship develops.





But more often than not, a woman:

• Looking for support in a man for himself, like a crutch
  
  
• constantly provokes a man, because he internally believes that he is unworthy of love and happiness
  
  
• He does not know what he wants, and therefore tries to live the goals and dreams of his man, which also does not work out.
  
  
• using a man as a therapist
  
  
• Becomes a faceless fish-sticky, from which you can not get rid of
  
  
• He is afraid of losing him, and he controls his every move.
  
  
• He tries to prove his independence to everyone and is therefore unable to be in a relationship.
  
  
• Does not know how to trust and build close relationships, so replaces all this with different surrogates
  
  
• At his expense, he tries to solve his emotional problems, playing the scenarios of a relationship with his father, for example.
  
  
• He tries to make a man do something she needs, regardless of his qualities, nature and desires.
  
  
• He is the one who gives and holds on to him with all his might, so as not to be alone.
  
  
• He closes his eyes to an attitude that destroys both.
  
  
• provokes conflicts, because it is overflowing with emotions, they need to be put somewhere, and does not know the other way.
  
  
• What does it mean to keep a man (and what does it mean to keep a man?)? Is he a flag?
  
  
• He hopes he will finally make her happy.
  
  
• They are not interested in themselves and cannot be alone for a long time.
  
  
• Using a man to solve his physical or material problems
  
  
• He's afraid of getting old, getting fat, and so on, because he's going to throw her away, and he's going to do surgery, he's going to give her injections.
  
  
• He expects love from the outside, unable to receive it from the inside.
  
  

This is just a small part of what women do in relationships. None of this leads a woman to the desired goal.



Because you have to take care of yourself. Not a husband. Not men. And me. You need to establish relationships with yourself first, and then build communication.



Because when it is quiet, calm and good inside, it is easy to ask for help, easy to say a kind word, easy to let go fishing. But if you know for sure that all this is a disaster for you, that you can’t trust him, respect him, keep him faithful not only with your body but also with your mind, accept him, leave him with personal space and time, then this is a signal.

The signal is to stop thinking about it, try to change it, stop looking for the magic button on it that will fulfill all your desires. You can destroy a relationship with a guarantee.

Shift your focus from your husband or man to yourself. If you can’t get married, stop thinking about men and how to get them. Start thinking about yourself. Make it a priority not to “save the marriage” or “get along with it” or even “get married.” Set a goal to become interesting to yourself.

Get to know yourself. Have an affair with yourself, if you will. Calm the inner chaos and break up. Find everything you need—love, attention, interest, motivation—inside you. And then the relationship will change.

This is similar to how we grow vegetables.



First you need to prepare the soil, and if it is ready, then the seeds are easy enough to plant and maintain with minimal effort.



But if you are not puzzled by the soil, and immediately sow, then even if you then put a lot of effort, the harvest may not be at all. You will only waste time, energy, get a negative experience and lose faith.

It's the same in relationships. You can type in a bag of manipulative methods of communicating with men, learn how to press different buttons to get what you want, but what is the point in the long run if you yourself are seriously ill? You will become a monkey with a grenade in his hands, which with its “practices” can cripple those who are nearby. And of course, there will be no talk of happiness, even if your family looks perfect from the outside.





Don’t look for something where it can’t be.Why you should not always share your joy with others

Don’t touch a man until you have agreed with yourself. There will be no harmonious relationship unless there is harmony within you. Stop trying to change other people and their relationships. Calm yourself, fill, pacify. And everyone will calm down, too.

Learning and developing yourself is an endless and exciting process. And if you dive into it, it is already impossible to stop, you will be more and more interesting with you. And the more interesting you are, the more attracted others – men, friends, children, colleagues, superiors.

It all starts from the inside out. From ourselves. Published



Author: Olga Valyaeva





Source: www.valyaeva.ru/vse-nachinaetsya-s-zhenshhiny/