"Even in Russia they are women»
Simone De Beauvoir, "Second sex."
This saying, this time, prompted me to reflect on the theme: "What it means to be a woman in Russia». Well, and why Russia is clear.
In our country over the last two decades there have been major political, economic and ideological change. We can say that we now have endured a crisis of value orientations. Changes are also related to the real social roles of men and women in society.
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Often in our real life social roles of men and women are strongly distorted relative to the conventional, well-established concepts, changed to the opposite. For example, many women go into independent business, otherwise earn money, and often not for pleasure, but out of necessity to support themselves and family. While retaining the traditional burden of responsibilities at home and care for their loved ones. In General, the "I'm a woman and a man." But, still want to be attractive in the context prescribed by the society. How can we combine?
Indeed, as we succeed (unless, of course, fails) to remain Female. And what we should be, that we so perceive ourselves and others. Yes, in that order, first we ourselves because, if we perceive ourselves as something else: experiencing uncertainty, dissatisfaction, constantly criticize themselves, and the environment will treat us accordingly.
Ask a rhetorical question: how often do men after, so to speak, ......fifteenth years of marriage away for another woman. By the way, not necessarily that she will be younger and more beautiful. Right, all the time!
And she, the wife that is, all my life I tried obihazhivat, catered to, supported, was ignored. All for his beloved. And he...!!! (A familiar song?). That is something! It is easy to guess, what turns a woman's life. Yes,in the staff! I venture to suggest that the man in that time would be improved and developed, no matter in what area, it is important that he allowed himself to me, beloved, to take care of.
Has anyone met a man who does not have any interests in addition to the scheme "home – work – home"? Honestly, I don't remember that, even though it is such "nonsense" as fishing, garage, football, friends and beer.
What about the woman?! Again a rhetorical question.
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So what am I doing? Yes, all that! About the perennial appeal of the "love yourself". Books on the subject written a lot. I suspect that read — re-read, well the same Louise hay. But good?! I am afraid that the periodic persuading myself that I love myself as well and from occasional and maybe regular trips to the beautician confused with "less than nothing", if only....
Here I want to quote a metaphor from the book "I'm one" E. Mikhailova, a leading female psychological groups made by a member of the group:
"My life as a cabbage. The leaves look outside. This to friends, this to children, this husband, this – to the parents, this is to work. Leaves a good, successful life, but where is myself, where is stumpy?»
Well, of course, to be needed, in demand. But imagine for a moment that the children grew up, they have their own lives and the care they do not need, husband (ugh, ugh, ugh) left work sick, and my friends and so always has its own life. What remains? And nothing, emptiness, loneliness. I that is the case, when "no cobs".
Men, by the way, no matter what they say, appreciate in a woman is individuality, personality. What is it?! Including, so-called, self-sufficiency, opportunity, being in the above situation, not to despair, but to go further, to achieve their goals. And they should be! It is the ability to make decisions, not always pleasant, to take responsibility, to make choices.
And it is also about loving yourself!
One of my friends said a great thing on the subject — as a woman needs to set his priorities:
"First herself, then lover, then husband, then children."
In this case, a lover is understood not only and not necessarily a sexual partner, and any Hobbies.
But do not think that it is a call for all to care! Conversely. After all, who among us has created a climate in the family? Of course a woman! The objections are not accepted.
And what if the woman is nervous employee, angry, unsatisfied, vinovata yourself whenever you meet a friend? Certainly nothing good, until the accidents and diseases, not only her, but also loved ones.
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What is the fascination?This keen interest, this meaning, this state of flight, this finally Shine in the eyes! If someone has not realized that in this state you can move mountains. And close beside a woman much more comfortable, more interesting, more productive live. Does this can go?
And it is also about loving yourself, because not being able to love yourself, it is impossible to learn to love others!
It turns out that one solution is to find a stalk. That is, to find themselves, to remember their needs, understand them, and to do what brings pleasure.
It is a pity that in order to afford this — it takes courage to say "Yes, I want" and a lot of effort and patience to implement it. But who said that being a real Woman is easy?! Here the choice is for each of us: to Be or not to be!
And to the question about the stumpy:
Where is it said,
What are husbands supposed dvadtsatikilometrovaya Lunches and invitations
at conferences and symposia in South Africa,
And wives supposed bean soup from cans and kultpohody
with preschoolers at the local fire station,
And where is it said,
That husbands rely encounter with the adorable urostomy,
and the lovely teachers of ancient history
and with a charming artists, heirs and poets,
And wives rely a meeting with the pimply-faced cashier at the supermarket,
And where is it said,
That husbands rely on Sunday afternoon NAP
and a football match on television,
And wives rely colored pencils and pictures
for painting with kids,
And where is it said,
That husbands rely enthusiastic praise, moral support
ten consecutive days of hot tea in bed
at the first sign of a cold,
And wives rely concerns to ensure this?
And if she decides in the end,
That let the husband himself carries shoes youth, or children to the doctor and the dog
to the vet, while she will study, for example,
neurosurgery and trantsendentalnoy philosophy,
Where it is said,
She always needs to feel
It was written by the American Judith Viorst in 1968. See, they had that, only much earlier. And apparently managed, at least in social terms.published