4 steps to improve self-esteem

Low self esteem can negatively affect all aspects of Your life: relationships, work, health. Fortunately, you can take steps to nurture. Even if You are a child of a low opinion of himself, our 4 simple steps will help You to improve your life.


Step 1. Define complex conditions or situations Think about what conditions or life situations strikes at Your self-esteem. This will typically include:

• setbacks in the work
• the lack of satisfying relationships
• family crisis
• a change in personal circumstances, such as job loss, a finding in holiday on care of the child, etc.
• strained relations with people close social environment (friends, co-workers, relatives).

Step 2. Become aware of your own thoughts and beliefs by Analyzing a difficult situation, listen to your own thoughts about them. It is important that You mean this situation, and what place it takes You. What do you feel about yourself? Your thoughts and feelings can be positive, negative or neutral. As well as the rational, that is, based on reasons and facts, or irrational, based on false ideas. Step 3. Challenge negative and destructive thoughts Your first thoughts are not necessarily the only correct view of the situation. Therefore check the accuracy of their judgments. Ask yourself, "are Consistent whether my ideas with facts and logic? The most likely other explanation for this situation?" Keep in mind that sometimes it is difficult to recognize inaccuracies in Your thinking. Most people think inside the box. These stereotypes allow you to do automatically, without wasting energy on the analysis of repetitive situations. Therefore, we often use established ideas about life and about yourself. They can be quite adequate and correspond to the facts. But often these views are based on ossified opinions and errors of perception. Pay special attention to the following points, destroying Your self-esteem:

• Way of thinking: "All or nothing". You see things in black and white, only good and only bad. For example: "I have not coped with this task. So, I'm a complete loser!"
• Mental filtering. You only see the negative focus on him, distort Your opinion about the person or situation. For example, "I made a mistake in the report and now everyone will understand exactly what I'm not good enough for this job!"
• Turning the pros in cons. You reject your own achievements and all your positive experiences in order to obliterate them. Example: "I wrote that test well only because it was very simple."
• "Jump" in a negative belief. You come to a negative opinion, though the reasons for him not enough or none at all. For example: "a Friend has not responded to my message. I must have done something, and he's mad at me for it."
• The adoption of the feelings behind the facts. You confuse feelings or beliefs with facts. "I feel like a loser. Must be I am a loser!"
• Self-abasement. You underestimate, belittle themselves and use self-deprecating humor. This can happen as a result of excessive response to a traumatic situation, for example, error. "I don't deserve anything better."

Step 4. Adjust your own thoughts and ideas and now replace negative and destructive your thoughts are correct and constructive. Apply the following strategy:

• Encouraging statements. Treat yourself with kindness and Samooborona. You know, thoughts are material. Your pessimism can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, if You fear that Your presentation will not be so smooth, You really risk to run into difficulties. Try to calm yourself with something like "even if I make a mistake, I still got this."
• Forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. But the error is not a permanent characteristic of Your personality, but that happens to everyone from time to time. Mentally "separate" themselves from mistakes. Tell yourself: "Yes, I was wrong, but that doesn't make me a bad person".
• Avoid statements of obligation and of duty. If You notice that Your thoughts are full of the words "shall" and "must", it means You have excessive demands to themselves or to others. Remove these words from Your thoughts, and Your expectations will become more realistic.
• Concentrate on the positive. Think about the good aspects of Your life. Remind yourself that You have managed for the last time. Take into consideration Your skills, which allow to cope with life's difficulties.
• Adjust the labels on the negative thoughts. No need to react negatively to negative thoughts. On the contrary, take them as signals for self-improvement.
• Inspire yourself. Give yourself credit for creating a positive change. For example, "My presentation was probably not perfect, but my colleagues asked questions and remained engaged. So I was able to achieve his goal".

Perhaps these steps initially may seem somewhat clumsy, but with practice they will give You all the easier. As You begin to realize what impact Your negative thoughts and beliefs in shaping self-esteem, You will begin not only to take them into account, but also actively resist them. And it will help You to accept yourself and your own importance as a person. With increasing self-esteem will increase Your confidence and subjective sense of well-being.

Source: estet-portal.com