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The magic circle within which man is invulnerable
Modesty is good personal boundaries + adequate self-esteem.
Good personal boundaries are a magical circle within which one is invulnerable to other people and egregors.
Adequate self-esteem is a protective dome that prevents a person from feeding himself addictions and frustrations, as well as viral ideas and larvae.
That is why modesty provides protection on all sides. It's psychological immunity.
But modesty not only provides protection, but also accumulates energy, because it prevents it from flowing away.
Where and how does the energy flow?
1. Attempting to solve an unsolvable problem
When the boundaries of a person are not very, he constantly tries to control what is beyond his control, to solve those problems, the solution of which is not available to him. It seems to him that he can influence what he cannot influence. He experiences, hopes, invests, demands, but receives nothing. As a result, his energy is wasted completely.
In a person with good boundaries (modest) this leak does not occur. He simply sees that it is not his business, that he is unable to influence it, that he does not have a single lever of pressure, and does not waste nervous energy, turns it into a more constructive channel.
2. Waiting to solve your problem from the outside
It's a border bug again. Bad borders are a bad locus of control, you may remember. A person either takes on too much as in paragraph 1, what is outside his department (this is hypercontrol), or vice versa, tries to shift responsibility to others (infantile locus).
It would seem that a person is trying to shift responsibility in order to save energy, do nothing, force others to solve their problems. But as a result, it does not save energy, but spends more. He tries to beg, manipulate, pretend to be a helpless victim, to suffer, to humiliate himself in order to extract from others what he does not need. He loses a lot of energy and often in vain, instead of focusing on solving the problem that he can. Those from whom he expects help, rarely agree, and if they agree, then try to recover. “The stingy pays twice” is about saving. If he were more modest, he would realize that others owe him nothing.
3. To feed illusions
This is perhaps the most energy-intensive article, which protects modesty. Self-esteem bug.
Initially, the illusion is created by a person for the sake of feeding. He lacks motivation, tone, he feels weak, so he creates an illusion that reduces stress and provides him with energy. He's starting to feel better. Our psyche is quite indifferent: we see something in front of us or imagine it and believe it. Illusions also provide us with energy. But -- temporarily. And always on credit. Payment of such loans then takes a lot of energy. It's like banks. If you did not put the loan into business and did not earn more, but simply squandered it, you were left in a big way.
How does modesty help us not to feed illusions?
Modesty in the energy sense is the habit of living within your means, not inventing excess about yourself, not feeding your self-esteem with illusions, coping with stress with real forces. Modesty is the refusal to take credit and succumb to costly temptations.
Immodest people are used to loans, they live only on them. As a result, they do not have their own energy at all, on the one hand they parasitize on illusions, and as a result they simply feed themselves the larvae that they themselves create.
I will now explain this metaphysics with familiar examples.
I have a lot of letters on my blog from women who, when they meet someone who is pretty or even not very, but just the best of all available, for the slightest reason or even for no reason, create the illusion of a relationship with him. On the one hand, it comes from hunger, from general hunger, when women lack emotions, there are no suitable sources of energy, or from hunger in the love sphere, when a woman considers love urgently necessary (the clock ticks, you need to marry, for example) and she does not. Therefore, a woman experiences an acute need and is ready to satisfy this need in any way: there is no real attention, she will invent or exaggerate it to feel “in a relationship.”
The illusion is built into life and begins to create a larva in the field of a woman. Now she has a Lover with whom she talks, looks at his cute image (photos to help, but the imagination copes), she even has sex with him (masturbating and imagining him), that is, there is a parallel reality and thanks to her, the importance of the figure increases the more a woman interacts with her and devotes attention to her, the more pleasure she receives from her.
The real person associated with this figure is very far behind this scenario. He may or may not like a woman, but he is clearly not interested in her enough to talk to her for hours and have sex every day, whispering affectionate words in her ear. That is, a person somewhere out there, on his own and little interested, and his interest could grow if the woman communicated with him adequately. But the woman communicates with her own larva and the relationship with this larva has already reached such a development that she is burning, burning and wants to have children from a man, better than three. Unfortunately, it is impossible to give birth to children from larva (only in medieval bikes, and even then an incubus is needed).
Therefore, a person who could reach for a woman at first begins to recoil from her. She communicates with him as a groom or husband, and he is not at all happy with such communication. For him, it's too fast, too early, too much.
A woman who has fed a huge larva of her own illusions into the field is forced either to feed the larva further, fighting reality (and this is the way to madness), or to destroy this figure, which creates such a stress hole that it is hundreds of times more difficult to survive it than the small hunger from which she fled in illusion. She didn’t want to deal with a little stress and now she has to deal with a lot of stress. She didn’t want to get some energy and now she has to get a lot of energy to pay off the loan. Energy bankruptcy is the bottom of the debt pit. A strong negative is often there.
Sometimes you get the feeling (and you probably get it when you read terrible stories about addictions of love and distortion of reality) that illusions capture a person against his will, treacherously and he can do nothing. But it's not!
Human grace lies in the fact that a person has the means of defense and if he organizes himself correctly, he is practically invulnerable. Modest man cannot be seduced by illusions, modesty gives immunity from illusions.
See how modesty works (not only in love, in the realm of any resource, I am only more comfortable illustrating examples of love).
A woman meets a man, she likes him, she too, they agree to communicate, but then her active initiative does not follow a real revival. Its initiative is not intercepted and not developed, as in the case of dynamic balance, but is somewhat extinguished. There is a movement of a man towards a woman, but much less.
Sad in this case, all women, both modest and immodest. But there's a difference. Modest decides that probably did not like as it seemed, and tries to reduce their own turnover. Perhaps she even turns her eyes to other men or just to other things, and if he is completely slowing down, she agrees with the idea that there is no sympathy from that side. As long as there is no or no, only time will tell. Not now, so thinking about this man is as silly as dreaming of being a singer without a voice.
An immodest woman in this case has a dilemma. First of all, she is experiencing a shock that, it turns out, she did not like it, she does not want to believe it. Her stress is much greater than that of a modest woman who thought, “I guess he didn’t like me” and her world didn’t collapse, because her world never rested on the fact that she should be liked by everyone or very many people. She's modest. Secondly, the immodest woman realizes that either she is now getting evidence of a man’s sympathy, or the end, she no longer needs him, she needs either very much in love with her, or he would go to hell. Familiar?
If a modest woman is ready to accept the fact that a man is not very interested, but you can still communicate and he will look at her better, she gives a chance to gradually develop relationships without inventing extra, then an immodest woman does not give a chance. What do you think makes her want to give up on a man? Whatever! Her inflated self-esteem does not want to accept the fact that he is not in love to death, and her sanity suggests that finding someone who will fall in love immediately is very problematic. To reconcile self-esteem, shouting “fuck him, if he did not fall in love right away!” and reason, which says “you are not sent this way...” a woman simply creates an illusion. What the illusion is, it doesn’t matter. She may decide that he does not believe his happiness, that she is too cold and inaccessible, which means you need to become more accessible and hot, that he is wildly busy at work or oh, "he is just onegin" (thanks to Evolution, gave another niche for illusions), the main thing is that now in her head there is the idea "he blocks his strong feeling for me, and as soon as he unlocks, immediately loses his head."
And the “unblocking” begins, for which you need to take out new loans.
As you understand, as soon as an immodest woman begins to run after a slowing man ("just onegin"), she goes into the red, and now her self-esteem suffers from reality more, now she needs to defend herself from reality stronger. Previously, she had only to survive the fact that she liked not so much stranger. And now she must come to terms with the fact that despite her running, activity, the person who has become her family still does not want anything. Or maybe not.
Woe to the immodest girl, if she clings to it so that she began to offer herself on any terms. "Do you want a massage?" “Come at least with your friends” and “Okay, I agree to a friendship too.” In case of such a loss of self-esteem, an immodest girl will not be able to return to reality. Imagine that she could not survive the lack of sympathy of a stranger, and now she must accept the fact that the person to whom she literally broke up does not want anything from her and even this is her slavery, too. The debt on the loan has grown so much that now she needs an abyss of strength to survive the collapse of illusions.
This is not the case for a modest girl. She will be able to live in reality, accepting the fact that reality does not always meet her expectations. I wanted him to fall in love, but he didn’t. Well, no, you can't. The world of a modest girl does not collapse from this loss.
She does not even perceive this as a loss, since initially she did not bet on necessarily liking herself at all costs. She would like to like her, but she did not associate it with her ambitions, since it depended not only on her, but on what this person needs and what his situation in life is. It has good boundaries and therefore it is much easier for self-esteem to remain adequate. And vice versa. She has adequate self-esteem and is therefore easier to maintain normal boundaries.
For a predator, a very modest person is generally invulnerable. The predator will not be able to force him to create illusions and merge boundaries. And predators only work in these two areas: self-esteem and boundaries, everything.
Of course, modesty is not enough. Resources are needed so that there is a place to take energy, which modesty will accumulate and protect against leakage. But at least it is a cost-effective structure that allows you to lose as little as possible and multiply more.
Questions for you.
How is modesty different from the low self-esteem and lack of self-esteem that some not-so-smart people confuse with?
Modest people almost never have low self-esteem, have adequate. Why?
Modest people almost always have self-esteem on a level. Why?
Humility is perfectly combined with great ambition, just helps not to become a victim of their own ambitions. How? published
Author: Marina Komissarova
P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!
Source: evo-lutio.livejournal.com/248734.html
Good personal boundaries are a magical circle within which one is invulnerable to other people and egregors.
Adequate self-esteem is a protective dome that prevents a person from feeding himself addictions and frustrations, as well as viral ideas and larvae.
That is why modesty provides protection on all sides. It's psychological immunity.
But modesty not only provides protection, but also accumulates energy, because it prevents it from flowing away.
Where and how does the energy flow?
1. Attempting to solve an unsolvable problem
When the boundaries of a person are not very, he constantly tries to control what is beyond his control, to solve those problems, the solution of which is not available to him. It seems to him that he can influence what he cannot influence. He experiences, hopes, invests, demands, but receives nothing. As a result, his energy is wasted completely.
In a person with good boundaries (modest) this leak does not occur. He simply sees that it is not his business, that he is unable to influence it, that he does not have a single lever of pressure, and does not waste nervous energy, turns it into a more constructive channel.
2. Waiting to solve your problem from the outside
It's a border bug again. Bad borders are a bad locus of control, you may remember. A person either takes on too much as in paragraph 1, what is outside his department (this is hypercontrol), or vice versa, tries to shift responsibility to others (infantile locus).
It would seem that a person is trying to shift responsibility in order to save energy, do nothing, force others to solve their problems. But as a result, it does not save energy, but spends more. He tries to beg, manipulate, pretend to be a helpless victim, to suffer, to humiliate himself in order to extract from others what he does not need. He loses a lot of energy and often in vain, instead of focusing on solving the problem that he can. Those from whom he expects help, rarely agree, and if they agree, then try to recover. “The stingy pays twice” is about saving. If he were more modest, he would realize that others owe him nothing.
3. To feed illusions
This is perhaps the most energy-intensive article, which protects modesty. Self-esteem bug.
Initially, the illusion is created by a person for the sake of feeding. He lacks motivation, tone, he feels weak, so he creates an illusion that reduces stress and provides him with energy. He's starting to feel better. Our psyche is quite indifferent: we see something in front of us or imagine it and believe it. Illusions also provide us with energy. But -- temporarily. And always on credit. Payment of such loans then takes a lot of energy. It's like banks. If you did not put the loan into business and did not earn more, but simply squandered it, you were left in a big way.
How does modesty help us not to feed illusions?
Modesty in the energy sense is the habit of living within your means, not inventing excess about yourself, not feeding your self-esteem with illusions, coping with stress with real forces. Modesty is the refusal to take credit and succumb to costly temptations.
Immodest people are used to loans, they live only on them. As a result, they do not have their own energy at all, on the one hand they parasitize on illusions, and as a result they simply feed themselves the larvae that they themselves create.
I will now explain this metaphysics with familiar examples.
I have a lot of letters on my blog from women who, when they meet someone who is pretty or even not very, but just the best of all available, for the slightest reason or even for no reason, create the illusion of a relationship with him. On the one hand, it comes from hunger, from general hunger, when women lack emotions, there are no suitable sources of energy, or from hunger in the love sphere, when a woman considers love urgently necessary (the clock ticks, you need to marry, for example) and she does not. Therefore, a woman experiences an acute need and is ready to satisfy this need in any way: there is no real attention, she will invent or exaggerate it to feel “in a relationship.”
The illusion is built into life and begins to create a larva in the field of a woman. Now she has a Lover with whom she talks, looks at his cute image (photos to help, but the imagination copes), she even has sex with him (masturbating and imagining him), that is, there is a parallel reality and thanks to her, the importance of the figure increases the more a woman interacts with her and devotes attention to her, the more pleasure she receives from her.
The real person associated with this figure is very far behind this scenario. He may or may not like a woman, but he is clearly not interested in her enough to talk to her for hours and have sex every day, whispering affectionate words in her ear. That is, a person somewhere out there, on his own and little interested, and his interest could grow if the woman communicated with him adequately. But the woman communicates with her own larva and the relationship with this larva has already reached such a development that she is burning, burning and wants to have children from a man, better than three. Unfortunately, it is impossible to give birth to children from larva (only in medieval bikes, and even then an incubus is needed).
Therefore, a person who could reach for a woman at first begins to recoil from her. She communicates with him as a groom or husband, and he is not at all happy with such communication. For him, it's too fast, too early, too much.
A woman who has fed a huge larva of her own illusions into the field is forced either to feed the larva further, fighting reality (and this is the way to madness), or to destroy this figure, which creates such a stress hole that it is hundreds of times more difficult to survive it than the small hunger from which she fled in illusion. She didn’t want to deal with a little stress and now she has to deal with a lot of stress. She didn’t want to get some energy and now she has to get a lot of energy to pay off the loan. Energy bankruptcy is the bottom of the debt pit. A strong negative is often there.
Sometimes you get the feeling (and you probably get it when you read terrible stories about addictions of love and distortion of reality) that illusions capture a person against his will, treacherously and he can do nothing. But it's not!
Human grace lies in the fact that a person has the means of defense and if he organizes himself correctly, he is practically invulnerable. Modest man cannot be seduced by illusions, modesty gives immunity from illusions.
See how modesty works (not only in love, in the realm of any resource, I am only more comfortable illustrating examples of love).
A woman meets a man, she likes him, she too, they agree to communicate, but then her active initiative does not follow a real revival. Its initiative is not intercepted and not developed, as in the case of dynamic balance, but is somewhat extinguished. There is a movement of a man towards a woman, but much less.
Sad in this case, all women, both modest and immodest. But there's a difference. Modest decides that probably did not like as it seemed, and tries to reduce their own turnover. Perhaps she even turns her eyes to other men or just to other things, and if he is completely slowing down, she agrees with the idea that there is no sympathy from that side. As long as there is no or no, only time will tell. Not now, so thinking about this man is as silly as dreaming of being a singer without a voice.
An immodest woman in this case has a dilemma. First of all, she is experiencing a shock that, it turns out, she did not like it, she does not want to believe it. Her stress is much greater than that of a modest woman who thought, “I guess he didn’t like me” and her world didn’t collapse, because her world never rested on the fact that she should be liked by everyone or very many people. She's modest. Secondly, the immodest woman realizes that either she is now getting evidence of a man’s sympathy, or the end, she no longer needs him, she needs either very much in love with her, or he would go to hell. Familiar?
If a modest woman is ready to accept the fact that a man is not very interested, but you can still communicate and he will look at her better, she gives a chance to gradually develop relationships without inventing extra, then an immodest woman does not give a chance. What do you think makes her want to give up on a man? Whatever! Her inflated self-esteem does not want to accept the fact that he is not in love to death, and her sanity suggests that finding someone who will fall in love immediately is very problematic. To reconcile self-esteem, shouting “fuck him, if he did not fall in love right away!” and reason, which says “you are not sent this way...” a woman simply creates an illusion. What the illusion is, it doesn’t matter. She may decide that he does not believe his happiness, that she is too cold and inaccessible, which means you need to become more accessible and hot, that he is wildly busy at work or oh, "he is just onegin" (thanks to Evolution, gave another niche for illusions), the main thing is that now in her head there is the idea "he blocks his strong feeling for me, and as soon as he unlocks, immediately loses his head."
And the “unblocking” begins, for which you need to take out new loans.
As you understand, as soon as an immodest woman begins to run after a slowing man ("just onegin"), she goes into the red, and now her self-esteem suffers from reality more, now she needs to defend herself from reality stronger. Previously, she had only to survive the fact that she liked not so much stranger. And now she must come to terms with the fact that despite her running, activity, the person who has become her family still does not want anything. Or maybe not.
Woe to the immodest girl, if she clings to it so that she began to offer herself on any terms. "Do you want a massage?" “Come at least with your friends” and “Okay, I agree to a friendship too.” In case of such a loss of self-esteem, an immodest girl will not be able to return to reality. Imagine that she could not survive the lack of sympathy of a stranger, and now she must accept the fact that the person to whom she literally broke up does not want anything from her and even this is her slavery, too. The debt on the loan has grown so much that now she needs an abyss of strength to survive the collapse of illusions.
This is not the case for a modest girl. She will be able to live in reality, accepting the fact that reality does not always meet her expectations. I wanted him to fall in love, but he didn’t. Well, no, you can't. The world of a modest girl does not collapse from this loss.
She does not even perceive this as a loss, since initially she did not bet on necessarily liking herself at all costs. She would like to like her, but she did not associate it with her ambitions, since it depended not only on her, but on what this person needs and what his situation in life is. It has good boundaries and therefore it is much easier for self-esteem to remain adequate. And vice versa. She has adequate self-esteem and is therefore easier to maintain normal boundaries.
For a predator, a very modest person is generally invulnerable. The predator will not be able to force him to create illusions and merge boundaries. And predators only work in these two areas: self-esteem and boundaries, everything.
Of course, modesty is not enough. Resources are needed so that there is a place to take energy, which modesty will accumulate and protect against leakage. But at least it is a cost-effective structure that allows you to lose as little as possible and multiply more.
Questions for you.
How is modesty different from the low self-esteem and lack of self-esteem that some not-so-smart people confuse with?
Modest people almost never have low self-esteem, have adequate. Why?
Modest people almost always have self-esteem on a level. Why?
Humility is perfectly combined with great ambition, just helps not to become a victim of their own ambitions. How? published
Author: Marina Komissarova
P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!
Source: evo-lutio.livejournal.com/248734.html
