A Guide to Boosting Self-Esteem: How to Stop Depending on Approval

In today’s world, where social networks and the constant comparison of oneself with others have become the norm, the issue of healthy self-esteem becomes especially urgent. According to the World Health Organization, more than 60% of adults regularly experience problems with self-esteem, which significantly affects their quality of life, professional fulfillment and personal relationships.

Why do we depend on someone else’s opinion?
Evolutionary psychology offers an interesting explanation for our dependence on the approval of others. For thousands of years, belonging to a group has been critical to survival. Our brains still perceive social disapproval as a potential threat, activating the same areas responsible for physical pain.



Signs of Dependence on External Assessment
Current research in cognitive psychology highlights several key indicators:

• Constant need to confirm the correctness of their decisions by others
• The tendency to change your mind under the influence of authority figures
• Fear of making mistakes in the presence of others
• Painful reactions to criticism, even if constructive

The path to independent self-esteem

Stanford University psychology professor Carol Dweck emphasizes the importance of developing “growth mindset” for healthy self-esteem. This approach involves seeing difficulties as opportunities for growth, not as threats to self-esteem.

Practical steps towards independence

Modern psychotherapeutic practice offers effective strategies for strengthening self-esteem:

• Keeping a diary of achievements, where even small successes are recorded
• Practice Mindfulness and Meditation to Develop an Inner Observer
• Regular analysis of your own values and their relevance to life decisions

The role of internal dialogue

Research in neurolinguistics shows that the nature of our internal dialogue directly affects the level of self-esteem. Negative internal monologue activates areas of the brain associated with stress and anxiety, while positive introspection stimulates the production of serotonin and other “happiness hormones.”

Self-esteem transformation techniques

Modern cognitive behavioral therapy offers an effective toolkit for working with self-esteem:

• The Rewriting of History technique is the analysis of past situations from a new, more objective perspective.
• The Practice of an Inner Mentor – Developing a Supporting Inner Voice
• Positive anchoring – creating and strengthening positive associations

Conclusion

The formation of healthy self-esteem is a continuous process of personal growth, requiring a conscious approach and regular practice. It is important to remember that the goal is not to completely ignore the opinions of others, but to achieve a balance between external feedback and internal reference points.

Studies show that people with sustained self-esteem are not only more successful at work, but also show higher levels of life satisfaction in general. Investing in healthy self-esteem contributes to the quality of all aspects of your life.