11 commandments of a successful person Bashny.Net

 

"If you're so smart, why are you so poor?"

 

Why the sons of the poor peasants rarely become millionaires? In their worldview there is no experience of a successful person. It is possible to change ideas about their capabilities and to change the fate, but sometimes people do not even think about why their lives happen certain events. How often do we see headlines with the word success, read the recipes and tips on how to improve their well-being, and "things are rushing manure". Writes Anna a Curiosity, especially for .





What happens? Is it possible to break the vicious circle of success?

In order to understand where is the failure, you need to understand what success is. Ask yourself the question, how do you imagine a successful person? Most likely, the answer will be: a responsible, balanced, extraordinary, attractive, healthy. He believes in himself, takes the risk, makes decisions, keeps a clear boundary, chooses what to wear and how to look. Where and with whom to live and how to earn a living. It does not depend on the opinion of others, satisfied with life and themselves. He doesn't need to endlessly prove their superiority and Stripping of dignity. He no matter what think about him. One word – this person has high self-esteem.

This implies that failure is the antonyms of the above words: insecure, irresponsible, unattractive, sick, not able to refuse, dissatisfied with his life, i.e., have low self esteem.

Its roots come from childhood and you can write a trilogy about what led to this. We can do without deep psychoanalysis. I suggest a small test – I will list the signs of low self-esteem, and if you're within a few points recognize yourself, consider that found the keys to the answer to the question – why does not work?

Further, feel free to move to the second part of the article. It had something to do with it! Failure is unprofitable. Upgrade their malware to make the system operate efficiently.

So there you go!

1. Inability to accept compliments.You are able to make the tokens? How to respond to the message of your colleagues that look lovely? Confirm this or get flustered, blushing and making excuses?

People with low self-esteem, I call it CNT, is constantly dissatisfied with himself, because it has an inadequate evaluation of its manifestations. It seems that the one who makes him a compliment, fawning over him or for the reasons, lie.

2. The victim's condition.You are not satisfied with your partner? You undeservedly hurt and humiliated? You are often faced with aggressive people?

CHNS feels in the role of victim. It can manifest itself in two different planes. In the first case, it complains about the fact that he did a bad thing and the world is unfair. He does not take responsibility for what happens. Diminish their dignity, often chooses a life partner or is surrounded by people who use it. Truly believes that deep down, deserves such treatment.

In the second case it displaces the role of the victim. Trying to show the world, fearlessness and often let a lot slide. In this case, it occurs with spontaneous events in which he plays the role of the victim — the violence, abuse, infliction of any kind of pain, theft and so on. That is, the world outside begins to show the accumulated internal aggression. In this case, the projected punishment.

3. The inability to say no.You perform overtime work for free? You can't say no to friends, even if you have the plans? You suffer because you can't say the word NO?

CHNS sincerely believes that his refusal may offend people and he resents the refusal on the part of others. In the education of the Soviet period, identity has been erased, and people raised with a complete lack of boundaries. The belief that to refuse to have their is bad at the genetic level deposited in our mothers and fathers and passed down to us in the process of education. So, denying that we feel a deep sense of guilt. Other cause of failure is the fear of what people think about us is bad. If we trace the chain from the beginning of fear, what people think about us is bad, we will come to fear that we will not love. Yes, we are still it's important. To the love award and approval, which we received in childhood.

Trouble-free people to hang obligations, and then when they run mad and offended. They do it without pleasure, accusing others of injustice.

4. The non-competeYou are afraid of competition and comparison? You are afraid of even the possibility of defeat? Or do you consider yourself "above it"?

CNT selects in their environment that will strongly support this low self-esteem. He did not believe that they deserve to be best and first. When it comes to competition and competition – he quickly "drained". In advance, preferring to lose. Just would not do its competitors is unpleasant and painful. The question that was bothering him — what will they think of me? Did I have the right? You still lose. It will not work. I have no powers. At first he refuses competition, and then complains of the helplessness of the situation. And, as a consequence, once again becomes the position of the victim.

Another cause of a non-compete is the desire to be "above it". In this case, the cause is low self-esteem, which manifests itself as a hidden arrogance.

5. Dissatisfaction.You are constantly doing something with his looks? You are not satisfied with your external and internal shortcomings? You constantly compare yourself with someone else?

Another important diagnostic indicator of low self-esteem is dissatisfaction. It may be expressed in inadequate assessment of his appearance: the figure, face, hair, knuckles on the hand.

CHNS always and everywhere looking for flaws, compare yourself with others and trying to change your body and Outlook according to General trends. Most marketers of goods and services take advantage of this weakness, strongly supporting phobias that are associated with external defects. Today, almost everything can be fixed and people fall into the trap of self-improvement.

6. Dissatisfaction with others.You are surrounded by some "assholes"? You often criticize the behavior and appearance of others? You think that people living wrong? Perhaps you think they are not so advanced?

This item is directly connected with the previous one. After all, if people don't accept themselves and critically relate to my flaws, he sees these flaws in others. In the behavior of the CNT there is no freedom, he suffers from various fashionable trends. In this case, he rejects the one, who is not fashionable, young, improperly dressed or says. Sometimes the degree of condemnation may be critical, as in the case of the "Golden youth" with their motto –" Loham here not a place"!

7. Self-flagellation.Do you consider yourself guilty in front of parents or relatives because not doing what they want? Do you consider yourself not a very good person? Do you think that everything bad that happens to you is punishment for your misdeeds? After the scandal or the quarrels or unpleasant events have a deep sense of guilt?

This condition also can be divided into two polarities. The first is self-flagellation to attract the attention of other people. When a person begins to devalue themselves defiantly to confess. Thus, he is trying to evade responsibility for their actions. In another case, a man can't forgive his shortcomings. It is very important the evaluation of others, and he feels a sense of guilt and condemnation to themselves. Therefore, in every way he will punish yourself – consciously and unconsciously. At its worst it manifests as self-inflicted injuries and the infliction of pain.

8. Rejection of criticism.You are experiencing a bitter condemnation? You opinion is important unfamiliar people? You're angry when you Express an opinion about your abilities at work or in social networks?

CHNS are very vulnerable. They are not to take criticism. Any situation try on not stand the condemnation. They are not adequately perceive the charges against them are wrong. Often, they get aggressive and move into the position of active defence. After criticism, such people have a deep personal tragedy, resenting the opponent and in every way trying to justify themselves.

9. Bragging.You can't go a day without comment in social networks about their activities? Afraid to show the real life? Frequently use photoshop and come up with the events of his life to seem better? I'm afraid to write and speak about the negative things that happen? You always "all is well"? You flaunt brands and achievements?

CHNS are often trying to show off his dignity, as if to prove that they are worth something. In fact, arrogance and excessive bragging point directly to low self-esteem. For the simple reason that harmonious has no reason and no one to prove and to show their superiority. CHNS still love to teach others.

10. EnvyYou think that people are better than you? You think that they have more luck with children, partners, work, self-realization? You often copy what they are doing and their way of life? You grieve from knowing that you "never"?

Envy is experienced by all, as it is the basic feeling. However, people with low self-esteem believe that they are not capable of making worthwhile and worthy of attention. They are jealous of the successes and achievements of other people — their appearance, capabilities, husbands and wives and so on. They have their dreams and often dreams of other people become the object of their suffering. Hence the desire of some men and women to possess other people's wives and husbands. Envy leads to the fact that people do not understand what they want from life. Going the wrong way, focusing on the success of others, and thereby waive its uniqueness.

11. Indecision.You are unable to make decisions quickly? You are always comparing which version is better? Are you afraid to lose? Afraid to take risks? You do not know how to defend their point of view? Do not consider myself competent enough to have their point of view?

People with low self-esteem is very difficult to make a choice. They often rely on the choices of others and it is very easy to impose their views. These people do not have a firm position.

 

Low self-esteem leads a person to the fact that he begins to live "my life." Until he makes the decisions — the choices you make for him. Usually not in his favor. Therefore, people are more rooted in opinion about the injustice of the world and falls into despair.

If most of the items you recognize yourself, then no wonder nothing happens. This is a set of standard destructive programs, which have their deep roots. Any person is a system. Throughout life, it laid the program. Not always depends on us, whether they are focused on success or failure.

You need to understand that all of these programs for life helped us to adapt. On the one hand, they are malicious, the other was just necessary at a particular stage of life. Psyche had to adapt to certain childhood events. Without these programs we would not exist. Each of them have something to thank. But to achieve success they will not help us, so we will not arrange the parting send them to the CACHE.





Even if you find only one or two malware you will need 11 commandments of a successful person!

1. Accept the compliments as if it is one hundred percent true.

2. Let's repel the aggressors!

3. Say NO when necessary!

4. Start to manifest.

5. No comparison!

6. Any criticism!

7. Everything is as it should be!

8. Thanks for the criticism, but take only what responds!

9. Nothing to prove!

10. You ALREADY have everything for success!

11. Make a decision within 10 seconds.

 

How to apply these commandments?

1. From tomorrow You thank for any compliment. And after "absorb" the energy. Let the internal dialogue will be this — Yes, I look great. I have a really beautiful dress and it suits me. I was worthy of this post, today I have done a lot and deserves a medal. Thank me!

2. In as keep track of all the insult and any disrespect to myself. Just start to notice it. Can record. Try to feel what you feel when you humiliate and insult? Why do you allow it? What are the benefits is what you did not do?

Divide the sheet into two pieces and put one side benefit of this provision on the other — your feelings. This is a difficult point. Write every time You get hurt, benefits and fears are similar, although the situation will be different. Now go from simple to complex. To voice their dissatisfaction with the position where the least scary. And then move on to more serious fears. Start to disagree with the status quo. All the fears in our head!

3. Record and track the times when you are unable to say NO! And choose one area of life in which you begin to experiment. For example, work or friends. Start saying no to Intrusive friends or acquaintances, and after some time realize that nothing terrible happens. On the contrary, you will see how to begin to change the relationship, as you begin to increase your self-esteem. Then use this skill in other areas.

4. It crasnoe the word competition. Select a few areas of life in which you desperately wanted to emerge. Work, Hobbies, social networks. Start to manifest. Maybe you've been wanting to write a post? Or bake a cake, how to bake a friend? Or would you like to do a project as a colleague? Start doing that, what's been holding back! Even if it's not like anyone is around. And you will see how the energy will flow into your life. Fear of competition inhibits creativity in us. Can think about what inspires you to start doing that?

5. No comparison! If you half the day putting on make-up – a week don't do it. Start to lay out their "live photo". Speak and write about what is bothering you. Before upload to the network, something about yourself, stop and think – what does this have to your life? At some time of discard of communication. Clean out your contacts from the "perfect profiles". Catch yourself on thoughts every time you begin yourself with someone compare and stop copying what others are doing.

6. Notice the moments when you judge people. "Manifestations of others do not have anything to do with them". The phrase genius, though, and difficult to understand. What we don't like in other people — our hidden resource. Also, criticism and condemnation often arise from unconscious envy. Study it. Before you give your opinion, ask yourself. What I don't like? Why? Many things will become clear. Until you start tracking where there is rejection, make it a habit not to judge.

7. Self-flagellation, as a rule, closely connected with shame and guilt. This complex and deep subject. For starters, make it a habit to thwart any attempt to blame. Console yourself, whatever happens. Say to oneself. For every negative argument, tell yourself that all is well. Accept that it is an unhealthy habit.

8. Believe me, you can learn to accept criticism. However, it should be constructive criticism. Otherwise – let's fight back! Once you heard her in your address, do not rush to defend. Soberly weigh the information and divide it into parts, which is true, but that does not apply to you. Thank the person for the useful lesson, but do as you see fit.

9. This item is similar to item 5. Learn to be yourself. It's complicated. So take small steps. Every day allow yourself to do what you want, look the way you want. Should not boast about their successes. Try to share your mistakes and losses. Believe me, the human face is a lot more positive emotion than the mask of swaggering braggart.

10. How to deal with envy. Start talking to people. If you are sincere, you will know that on the shoulders of successful people is a huge responsibility. The higher it is, the greater the loss. Problems and fears all the same, just successful people have used to cope with them and go to meet them. Believe me, behind the success are a mountain of casualties and a sea of tears. Build your plans, learn the little steps. Ask for help and you will not notice as you stand next to the people that recently were jealous.

11. Psychologists say that the most right decisions we take in the first 10 seconds. Try to operate by this method for some time. Start risk. Break the patterns of their behavior. Learn to take responsibility for any results. Forgive yourself for mistakes, because without them we cannot move forward.

 

Track malware and do the opposite. Only practice and experience. Faced with the response, processing the feelings. Watch the fear goes away. Each such victory liberates and leads to goals. And what constitutes a success? Of the completed goals. History of failure only in your head!

Tracked down at least two malware – victory! How much easier life just because, then stop talking all YES. Is released how much time and effort when we don't spend them on things unloved. How easy, when you don't have to make excuses. You go through life without regard for the opinions of others. Self-esteem grows and success will not keep you waiting.

 

Author: Anna a Curiosity, especially for

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: Anne Curiosity