6 simple but effective ways to wrap an unpleasant situation to their advantage

Mistakes are made all. This is absolutely normal. But how they respond is quite another question.

For example, you come to the wedding of my best friend in the pants you big and always strive to slide down. You somehow manage to keep them in place, but suddenly, in that moment, when you find yourself in the limelight, someone's child pulling the pant leg and the pants instantly be somewhere at knee level. You are left with only one desire — to quietly disappear and never to meet with witnesses of your shame.

Another situation: you are a girl of marriageable age, and your favor to achieve two boyfriend. You meet with both, because I can not make a choice. Guys, of course, the existence of each other do not even know. And here comes the "pad" and they both find themselves in front of your door with bouquets. You feel absolutely destroyed.Or, say, you have a very complicated relationship with the boss — the iron lady, which is always dissatisfied with your work. Are you sure it is in "interesting position", although she anyone about it that way. And once, when the boss is more or less a good mood, you have accidentally pulled out: "Congratulations! And when you expect?" Hangs awkward pause, and then her eyes shed tears. It turns out that she just got better. You want to sink into the ground.

Another situation: you need to prepare a speech on the topic in which you are like a fish in water. As you so well know the material, you decide not to record future performance and do even without abstracts. And here you step in front of the audience, open your mouth and... you know, what's in your head is completely empty. Clean sheet. You are in a panic.

Life is full of mistakes and awkward situations, it's part of normal everyday life. But if the error is such a common thing, why do we feel terrible when they performed?

Psychologist Silvan Tomkins, one of the first researchers of human emotions, thought, that most often we feel a sense of burning shame in relation to a situation from which we originally waiting for positive emotions, when on the way to pleasure there is a kind of an unexpected obstacle. Joy instantly turned inside out and becomes a nightmare.

Long before scientists learned how to log activity of the brain, Tomkins came to the conclusion that such minutes at the physiological level is something that our subconscious interpretered as "embarrassment".

Of course, in many cases, we do make mistakes — do what wasn't supposed to, or not doing what it should. But understanding the physiological and chemical element can help to learn to cope with negative emotions.

Recent neurological research has confirmed the theory of Tomkins, in a situation which develops "off script" our brain either "focuses on a negative result and sees it as a problem in need of resolution or responds to a bad situation as a threat." The first case allows us to learn from their mistakes, the second one prevents us from moving forward.

So how can we cope with the awkward, embarrassing situations and even benefit from their own mistakes?

Below you will find six tips, which have been tested by time and have helped many people:

1. Ashirkuli admit you made a mistake — say, at work, try to understand what went wrong. If there are "extenuating circumstances" — can you try to explain to their superiors, but be prepared that you will not hear, and if hears, that is not right. On the other hand, and sprinkle ashes on his head, also not in a hurry. For example, if you filled up a presentation, you can apologize and say something like "I really thought I was well prepared. But I did not realize that so will get upset in front of an audience". During the "beating" focus on finding out what can be done to at least partially rectify the situation. Listen to all the criticism and in no case do not complain. Yeah, and next time, try to prepare better.

2. If you accidentally offended anyone, apologize if there is vozmozhnostej the case of imaginary pregnancy boss you could seize the moment, when you get together and say something like "I'm very embarrassed, I didn't mean to insult you. Just my sister and wives of two of my best friends is pregnant, and now I see caricatures everywhere future moms". It's possible that she will accept your apology, but still some time will look at you with distaste. This incident should teach you to think before you speak.

3. Don't be afraid to take otvetstvennosti with two Boyfriends helped the girl it really happened, to understand their feelings, to stop messing with guys heads and tormented by doubts. If she was able to make a decision sooner, she would have lost one or both admirers and awkwardness with the advent of two young men in front of the door would have been avoided. But sometimes only a kind of jolt and can open our eyes. The heroine of this story, for example, only in this moment realized that she did not want a serious relationship with any of the Boyfriends. Maybe not loved any of them, and maybe even generally not Mature enough to associate with someone of his life. Whatever it was, but an unpleasant situation, in the end, helped her to sort herself out.

4. Talk to people — friends, relatives, those who overeaten be careful confiding with colleagues on the job, a careless remark can play havoc with your reputation.

Communication will allow you to get rid of the discomfort — at least partly. In addition, someone can help you get out of a difficult situation. At least your loved ones will surely remind you that everyone makes mistakes, not just you. Forgive yourself and let go of the situation.

5. Remember that your errors quite quickly erased from the memory of others, unless you are someone really obedinitel even in this case, if you got a sincere apology and tried to correct the situation, accept the consequences of your mistakes are and try to move on. Not everyone is able to forgive, there's nothing you can do about it.

6. It tremendously you tried everything and nothing helps or not suitable in your case, remind yourself that shame and embarrassment, like all human emotions — a temporary phenomenon. And physiological and emotional component of your troubles will change. In the "moment" do your best not to allow panic to guide him. Just wait. It will take quite some time, and bitter feeling will leave.

источник:publy.ru

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