Once you have decided to go in different directions is the best solution, the process of a breakup can become quite nervous activity as the hearts of two people intertwined.
Here are some steps that will help you to go through this stage, and tips on how to reduce the pain that you cause to another person:
Make sure you understand why you do it. Sometimes the reason lying on the surface ‒ not true. Dig deeper inside yourself to find the true cause. The fact that you are inside a situation may interfere with your discernment. Separate yourself from the situation and spend some time alone. This will help you to find the clarity that you need.
Give yourself a promise to be honest with yourself and the other person. The truth will set you free. Do not change his word.
Arrange a time to meet
Arrange a time to talk with your partner as soon as possible. Some people mind about breaking up with me over the phone. I also believe you can do it in person is always the best option, but if distance separates you, you better do it as soon as possible by phone than to wait.
Before your session log to a state of compassion for another person. In a state of compassion you radiate love and understanding that you need to help another person to heal the wounds. Here are some tips to help you to enter a state of compassion:
Deep breath stand right up, close your eyes and put your hand on your heart. Deeply inhale and slowly exhale. After the inhalation hold your breath for 5 accounts, before slowly breathing out. Repeat at least 15 times.
Gratitude – Sit comfortably, close your eyes and imagine all that you are thankful for. Let one follow the other, let the images of people, situations, places, and things arise in your mind. Or, alternatively, try to write it all down, not to visualize.
Focus on love – Close your eyes. If you want to include slow music that you like. Mentally go back in time to all those moments when you feel loved and when they felt love for others. Remember those moments when you were really happy and free. Imagine yourself a small child who rejoices and feels his freedom. Do this exercise at least 5-10 minutes.
During the meeting, focus on how to clearly and respectfully communicate your reasons to the other person. Here are some additional tips what to do during explanations at the meeting:
When explaining, focus on what feelings are aroused in you what is happening, so your partner will not feel the need to go into protection. Let him/her clearly understand that this situation is not their fault, as the prosecution in this case ‒ not an assistant.
Talk about what you learned from the relationship and what you are thankful for.
Be sincere concerning just what you are talking about. If you really don't think so, don't tell. People can easily identify when you are insincere.
Your partner can leap for joy emotion, he can be very upset. Their emotional state may fluctuate. Your task is to be there for them. Become the observer of the situation. Stay conscious, calm and alert.
Don't take anything on my account
When we are emotional and feel that we are hurt, we are very easily offended and say things that don't actually mean. Don't be surprised if your partner starts to behave like a little child, will begin to tell you reckless and angry words. He/she really doesn't think so. They just hurt, they need your attention. Don't take anything into your account. Become an observer, so as not to cling to the said and started to act defensive.
Love them regardless of the situation. They are human and they have feelings. Remember that you can love them without being with them in a romantic relationship. Be there for them in love and compassion, regardless of how they react. This will help you to gain balance and at the same time to remain calm to help another person to deal with the situation as best as possible.
If you want to cry – cry, and do it in full force. This will free up emotional blockage in your subconscious.
Actually, the news understood at once, that takes a few days. Do not think that you will meet once and we will be done. Your duty is to be with this person, at least in the initial stage of rupture of relations.
Do whatever is necessary to help them heal without compromising your own values. Be available to them when they need you.
Give them the space. They will still feel pain, even if it seems that they have everything in order. Now they need time.
Several times in the initial stage of the gap, check their condition to make sure that they have everything in order and to let them know that they mean a lot to you. Remind them that you are there if they need you to help them to heal the wounds.
You may experience guilt, since you are the initiator of the break. You see that you hurt and it can affect your condition. Below are some tips that will help you to let go of this feeling:
The time alone with you
Exercise to release energy
How to survive the demise of your partner
Each of us has a story when we were heartbroken, and we all know how it feels to sacrifice the gap. It hurts, it hurts a lot. You feel as if the world came to an end, and just wonder how it can survive. You will feel the pain and despair, but I promise you, you will overcome. Time ‒ magical means. I will soon write a meaningful article on this topic and some tips for those who have been a victim of a breakup.
Talk with friends – If you Express your words, thoughts and potential actions, you will gain a better understanding and see the prospects.
Surround yourself with positive energy, Surround yourself with friends and family. Are close with happy and optimistic people. Are around people that you like. Are around people who can make you laugh.
Love yourself by Spending time alone, with love for yourself. Do what will help you to appreciate and love yourself, it will simultaneously help you to gain confidence and independence. When was the last time you appreciated yourself in dignity?
Nothing, if you will cry – actually, I even recommend this. Express pain and release it outside. No need to hold back and give yourself free rein, cry. This will allow you to break free. Tears is good.
Find a lesson you have learned through this relationship? I firmly believe that something good can be learned from any situation, even of that which we perceive as bad. Concentrate on the fact that for the life lesson you acquired and that you could not learn in any other way.
Completely feel your pain When it comes to pain, our instinct is to get rid of it. We are distracted by other tasks at the same time suppressing the pain. Actually, it's a pain not eliminate. "What we resist, continues its existence." The best way to deal with pain is to go meet her. His eyes closed, completely feel a sharp pain in the very depth of your being and watch over her. Separate the observer from the pain.
Visualization and gratitude – Put your hands on your heart and close your eyes. Visualize all those things, experiences and people for which you are grateful. If you imagine a person, try to see his face smiling at you with joy and kindness. Thank you for all the things that we take for granted part of our body, what we love in our work, people who love us. Thank your heart, which works tirelessly, and without which we here simply would not exist. Thank our house where we feel safe, plenty of food and clothing, warming us. Thank people who are kind to us. Gratitude puts you in a state of love, acceptance and understanding.
What is the benefit to me? – Focus on how this new situation can help you. Perhaps you will now have spare time to follow what's important to you. Perhaps you can gain independence and freedom that you would like to feel.
Time heals – After the initial shock has passed and you've spent a lot of time communicating with your former partner, stay away from him/her. It is very difficult to find the clarity, independence, and see the future if they are constantly reminded about yourself. I recommend to spend away from them a few weeks, no meetings, no emails, no phone calls. With time, your wounds will heal.
Silence heals.Sit in silence and observe your emotions and thoughts. Put the next diary and pen. When you will come to thoughts, write them in your diary. Use these records as clues that will allow you to deal with your thoughts. They have power and can help you gain clarity.