Separation: to be human

About the breakup a lot of things already written, but before the New year is usually a boom of emails wanting someone to leave, and how not to miscalculate. I think all of us, of course, to live in a world where the beginning of a relationship partners thoroughly weigh the desires and opportunities, expectations about relationships, compare values, and ourselves in every way are learning.

But if suddenly, after such a conscious approach to the relationship occurs a separation, it would be wonderful if people were getting mirnenko and all were discussing, give each other time to think, tried to negotiate and to live emotions, learn to respect the thoughts and feelings of their partner. In this case, the parting would turn to a bilateral process, not at the termination of the relationship in one-sided (and even in policy-making) order.

In some cases, the desire to leave becomes an unstoppable impulse that wants to demolish everything immediately forever and to the ground?

This often happens when there is a strong connection in a relationship, for example, a teenage crush, when many think that "from change of places composed the sum does not change" — the left one, start with another. In such a relationship, the underlying desire is pleasure. There is no pleasure, no relationship, where there is a strong selfish desire to be free of problems in one fell swoop, I don't like — why waste time?

Surface when many who cause such severe blows to recover from that account for a significant while. Immature partners ruining relationships as if they were never nothing and not connected. One, two, three together, but at least ten. In one fell swoop — BAM, and gone. It's sad, of course. In immature relationships can be destructive and cheating, violence, and other unhealthy scenarios, here are possible options, but in such stories it is not appropriate to talk about one-sided gap, and we still are right now.

It happens that relations like as not superficial, but there is no good contact as themselves and with each other. If the family is not accustomed to openly discuss problems if not learned to listen to each other and respond to negative emotions, the level of discontent accumulates, and when it reaches a critical level, results in the decision "enough is enough!" And people could be very good, but could not agree (or even tried), silent-silent, grievances and complaints have accumulated, in the end, inside there's estrangement, to cope with which is not always possible.

And then "the last drop" does the job, one of the two decides it's time to leave because the strength to carry on with this anymore. And effort in fact often no, they spent on endless play in my head situations, as it could be if it were not so, the unwillingness to change and account management who is right and who is wrong.

Also not uncommon when in the process of unsatisfactory relationship, the person starts to go to therapy, read books, listen to lectures, to know themselves and "suddenly" realizes that relationships are not the ones not there.

In normal scenario people still try to explain, give the partner time to realize what is happening, if possible eco-friendly close relationship, trying to care not only about themselves but also about the former once-loved one.

But more often it happens that a fragile mind "seeker of truth" suddenly begins to see a loved one who limits his potential is not up to it for development, not too good so it is urgent to get rid of it. "Dear, the book/lecture/teacher/psychologist opened my eyes, but you are unlikely to understand, let's!" This behavior is hardly about an incredible awareness, because if you become so developed, then why hit him where it hurts the person from whom and tools for self-healing at hand not there? Once people are in partnership with each other, the responsibility is divided equally, well, maybe the burden of parting makes sense to divide between themselves?

It is clear that we come from childhood, destructive scenarios in the relationship had accumulated in excess, but if you have the opportunity to consciously cause pain in the relationship or to reduce the grief of the loss, it had to be done.

Yes, you can develop on therapy to walk, there is something to read and listen to, but if it does not make us humane, does it make much sense in this "development"?

Many times I've heard stories from the "she/he was not easy, but I honestly said ( -)." Honesty in a relationship is important — that's for sure, but:

  • it would be good to be honest from the start, and, for example, try not to give false hopes to man until they weighed their intentions and capabilities;
  • it would be fair not to rush to start a new relationship until the former partner has not passed the shock, attempts to fix it, to return, and much more;
  • it would be fair not to be silent six months, noticing what is wrong in the relationship, then to give their verdict "not suitable", and from the very beginning to get to know each other, or at least in the process.

Undoubtedly, we are changing, roles in relationships are changing, not always people along the way, it is not always possible to remain husband and wife, your favorite man and woman, but people always need to stay.

In getting rid of the partner as unnecessary ballast not pleasant. The one who leaves, it brings relief, but the one who remains, usually is not easy.

It is clear that each has its own measure of suffering, its lessons, but the place is left may be one of us. Because we can not only at will leave, but the sudden cessation of the earthly journey the loved one also is ruining all our plans. Now, to leave partners breakup in most cases like this mount, especially if it occurs all of a sudden.

  • Lived-lived, it turned out that the husband's mistress and child from her for several years.
  • Dated for a few years, lived together, suddenly a man decides to move to another country for work, his wife with him to call and not thinking.
  • Was going to propose, it turned out that she did not like a lot, so went to another.
  • Two weeks ago went, thought a lot, wanted to talk, and it turned out that the former partner has a new love happened.

It happens so? More as it happens. Hurt it all? Very painful! Separation should not be sudden, that's what I'll say.


Also interesting: the Painful separation: life after...

Eco-friendly parting


Well, a few days before the holidays too, it is better such not to do, because loneliness most often covers just in time for holidays and weekends, when they left a person has to adapt to a new way of life.

In this case, look before you leap, as they say.published


Author: Dean Richards


P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©



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