Single choice among several available is not always the simple mortal, and therefore exists in our world a lot of fanciful superimposition not only of different activities, but also relationships. Not everyone turns out to be long and deeply in the Union with only one beloved person.
For starters, such a person should try to find, and if this happens, then will have to change, to go deep in something to give, something to accept, something to close your eyes, yeah and a lot of routine have to go through in human relations.
Love, friendship, caring, tenderness, beauty — they are also filled with the lives of loved ones, but these feelings need to get more, they do not lie on the surface. On the surface is the passion, the love, the effect of novelty, besides, relationships don't always begin with awareness, often triggered a familiar scenario.
To get to real feelings need concentration to move in this direction; moreover, the true feelings will not only open, but also to learn to support them and keep.
The continuity of love requires skill and a large number of "hooks" that connects people to each other. Hook-a common past, in which the long looks, beautiful dates, and lots of laughter, smiles, joy, a hook support in difficult times, where so much time passed where tears and defeat, frustration, resentment and missed opportunities, the hook friendship that United two hearts that pass the test of grief and joy, children then those hooks, joint interests, future plans, deep conversations, a desire to understand and get to know the person with whom you live under one roof, the joy of victory, financial prosperity, career growth, joint travel, and many other unifying classes, year after year, throws bridges from the heart of one partner to another. As you can see, in this rich and balanced rhythm in life is not so much space and time left in order to chance a person third.
"Accidentally" the third does not appear, the meeting with the third may be a threat to the two only when the bridges and hooks weren't enough, and in the family system there's an open seat for the third.
Upon closer examination of situations with "third extra" in the relationship, it appears that the reason for this behavior is broken contact with the man himself
, the destructive scenarios of the past and not a very high level of psychological maturity. Relations with the beloved man or woman fills, but at the same time, they demand returns, they should be a balance of "give-take".
And when to want more than you give, or can't get everything one wants in one place, people try to get it at several places.
Yes it is hard to say that the decision comes consciously, usually just "happens" — just yesterday the phone took the girl, and today she wants you to divorce your wife, because you've already together for six months and tired of waiting.
A love triangle is a thing very distressed, that joy comes only at the beginning, and that not all participants in the geometric shapes.
Letters on this subject comes up a lot, because I write. About the moral and ethical standards you already know me, it will not, about the karmic consequences may also heard (everything in life comes back to us, but not in similar events, and in the form of conditions that were experienced by the people suffering our fault).
Will paint just all of the roles in the triangle and for situations when people really want to change something.The role of first
— person husband or wife is cheating with someone "on the side", and maybe even leave the family.
The winner in this state feel it is difficult, of course, when you learn about infidelity, something inside is falling apart, but if the "hooks" in the form of common past and present, children and mortgages quite a lot, then just close the door behind him and never to communicate are unlikely to be a good way.Want or not, but in order not to collapse in such a situation, you will have to deal with them.
To recapitulate the relations, analyze the reasons, to change, to live resentment, anger, disappointment, rejection, to weigh the pros and cons, to try to return it or honestly admit to yourself that all died a long time ago, the stage is completed, you need to move on. The biggest problem in this role brings a sacrifice and forgiveness out of fear of being alone, because in the end, inside a person accumulates a lot of venom that poisons or health, or leads to alienation.
Stubborn unforgiveness leads to the same, then you need to understand. Usually we go away for a while or for ever, not only because in dealing with us something goes wrong, not because we are bad, and the man on the side of good.
Often changing itself has a deep inner conflict, which is trying to solve by changing external circumstances. Or that our partner is not too developed, living in ignorance and wants to just enjoy, regardless of our feelings, then the question arises, why do we choose to still be with him?The second role
is the one who changes.
It is impossible to tell that person to do so according to a predetermined plan crimes, usually either the weakness of the senses, or the desire of a better life, which is superimposed on a very strange attitudes towards family life — if a husband or wife can't do something, but you really want, then why not look for the desired outside?
The philosophy is simple, but delivers enough from various diseases of body and soul to the problems associated with the choice, the increase in Finance costs, changes in living conditions, etc. the Wife or husband with whom you have children, co-housing, family, a lot of the past, present and future plans against a lover or a mistress whom the novelty, romance, intimacy, adventure and all that.
As I wrote, until the person is both there and there, it is difficult to adequately assess the situation, usually the partner and the lover for the qualities complement each other, so the situation can last for years. To change the situation we need to focus primarily on yourself and begin to understand their values, needs and life plans, to be somewhere in the silence and solitude, if possible.
And then two options to choose one (at least temporarily) and go deeply into it, in the end, a grown man — one who is able to bear the consequences of their decisions and actions. Faster than happens focus on yourself, and then one of the partners, the more chances you have to get out of the triangle, without destroying itself, and finally the life of loved ones.The role of third
— someone change.
Romance, secret correspondence, and boisterous meetings and gifts, circling the head, and a minimum commitment gives the idea that such relationships can be terminated at any time. It takes time, attachment increases and begins to want certainty. Where is the guarantee that will not miss their lives in anticipation of his/her departure from the family? Will we have children? When we will be able to speak openly about their relationship? Why I should alone spend the holidays and vacations, if I have a favorite person (or the holidays together and days and nights alone)?
And at this stage, the lover/mistress starts to try to influence the situation, asking for decisive steps. But look, if the person is truly strong, then, first, lover (spoken) he would not appear because it is unfair and will bring the pain to the husband/wife and children, secondly, if the family really as bad as (s) he often describes that an adult must first deal with these family problems, to solve them, trying to establish or already to disperse, taking responsibility for this choice.
He should explain to children what is happening, to be some time in all this negativity, to resolve property issues, etc. And if you initiate all of this has been for you to force the man to divorce, to talk to his wife/husband, cry at night from pain and the situation, to justify the omission of the fact that now is not the time to be inspired by the idea "(s) he loves me so much, just need to wait a bit, your partner is not so Mature as I want to believe. And why are you so sure that being in the role of legitimate wife/husband you will not have to face the same that now is his family?The relationship is strong, where there is a conscious choice, honesty with oneself, the commitment and a realistic view of the situation.
Yes, there are things that people live for years such triples, invisibly or visibly present in the lives of each other.
Husband, wife and mistress; a wife, a husband and a lover; the husband, wife and each set of fans, anything can happen. The question is, what do you need from life? Infidelity can be forgiven, you can not worry and not to forgive, you can forgive, but choose to go our separate ways, but if you just honestly look at yourself and the situation, no special knowledge is required.
"Oh, it was so good, but (s) he ruined all(-a)!" Oh, does it happen that really everything is OK, and the person takes voluntarily satisfied, that was bad? "I love them both and don't know what to do" — come on, everyone knows what to do, just the fact that I want and to solve the problem, but from pleasure not to give up.
How to learn to understand life's lessonsHow to understand what I want to do
If you honestly want to solve the problem, you will have to sacrifice something, for example, own comfort
. "Their family has long been bad, near there, live as neighbors! — I beg you. When things are bad, people disagree, because in the same area to live is unbearable.
Maybe your partner doesn't want to deal with the problems? Maybe you are the easy option to without any dissections of internal conflicts to change one image to another? If you ask honest questions of him and yourself, clarity comes quickly enough, the question is — do you need this clear, if you're still where you are? published
Author: Dean Richards