They say that when two people love each other, the third has no place. But often in relations between two wedges of the third and the result is simple in form, but heavy, in fact, a geometric shape — a triangle.
Perhaps, with the creation of the times, as soon as the family arose, and her eternal companion is cheating. Whatever may be said of the supporters of the extramarital Affairs about its benefits ("a good leftist strengthens marriage"), in the rest of the participants of this geometric shape (without exception) have not happy emotions: suffering, stress, multiple doubt, pain, disappointment...
Love triangle not to be a full, happy any of those who were in its composition. Often allow the ball to help exceptionally tough, decisive action, suggesting the need for a clear choice.Chemistry or spiritual promiscuity?
Question: "Why someone who marries for love, having a lover or mistress?" – the most painful and difficult. Men have been trying to answer it. Even biochemists who believe that love is a chemical process when feelings and reactions, like puppet strings, led by certain compounds of the elements of the periodic table. Once in the blood, they cause love euphoria and flight of the soul. Psychologists say that a person can love two or more people at the same time, it's quite normal.
It turns out that nothing depends on us – it is chemistry. The soul needs love, the body seeks out. It turns out that when the couple in the third wedged – blame love, or rather, the ability of a person to fall in love many times. According to psychologists, one of the partners can experience the sublime romantic feelings and the other crazy passion, mixed with sexual attraction. One to be bound by deep habit, with another sudden feeling. Diverse and different love.
Composition love triangles are of two types: he is married – she is free or it is free – she's married.Husband – wife – mistress
Perhaps the most common scheme. According to statistics, men are more likely to become a centre of intricate relations. Assuming the latest census, which shows that women are 10.7 million more men, understandably, that pushes ladies into the arms of married gentlemen.Why free ladies contact with married men?
In addition to social causes – banal shortage of men, among others, can be called love, calculation, fear of loneliness, a desire to have fun, curiosity (as good as they say), envy (she has and I have), and even the excitement of the hunters – to win over what belongs to others. Psychologists call the fact that married men are at risk to meet girls, not ready for a full relationship.
This could be preceded by a previous experience that ended with suffering and pain. Alas, if a woman internally broke down, she's ready for life to be "winter cherry", or is likened to the heroine of the film "Autumn marathon". The tragedy of the situation is felt when a woman understands how deeply sucked into the swamp.Why married men come in bastard games?
Men have extramarital Affairs, trying to find in a new relationship what is lacking in the old. Understanding, to be heard, to feel someone's concern and kindness, just to know about their exclusivity or to be the hero-lover, a kind of macho... Factors of any number.
Some individuals believe that a mistress should have "status". Alas, it is a kind of measure of success. A dubious argument, but many men of his eagerly defend.
There is a desire to diversify the sexual or emotional side of life, bringing new colors or erotic fantasies. When a family goes through the stage of love euphoria, life two included in the quiet channel. Becoming bored. As a consequence, the cooling degree of love in the relationship with the lawful wife. Wife has already "read a book". I want to again feel the sexual thrill, to feel elated.
Fourth, it seems that the wife already looks outdated next to it. They begin to meet with the young damsels that give the feeling of youth. Next to her shed for decades.
Another reason when in a relationship interferes with an accident, which lasted for years. A fleeting encounter or a one-off date suddenly takes on the character of habits. I will not live, throw a pity.
And, of course, the basic love that can overtake you suddenly, like a disease, without asking whether you want to or not. Here everything is clear. Chemistry.
Sometimes several causes come together, forming a bizarre intertwining of circumstances.
Remember the famous love triangle Galina Kuznetsova, Ivan Bunin, Vera Muromtseva. Around the Bunin was always a lot of groupies. But he loved his wife this, even superstitious love. When he was 56 years of life has any starting writer Galina Kuznecova, which was thirty. Quite quickly they ceased to hide the relations.
The writer honestly beloved that "he loves Vera Nikolaevna, as yourself." The legitimate spouse, of course, suffered. But she loved her husband betrayed, forgiving love and tried love rival. "...I suddenly realized that I have no right to interfere with Yan to love who he wants... if Only this love was to him, sweet to the soul... Human happiness is not to wish for..." she wrote in the diary. One of the outputs of a love triangle is the appearance of someone the fourth. This went through Galina Kuznetsova.ResponsesTo her husband:
Quite often, men as the Central figure of the triangle, quite pleased with the occupied position. Many do not want to make any decisions. Much depends on the mistress and the wife. For his wife, when everything is transparent:
If she was aware of messin ' and the adventures of her husband, in this situation it is important to prioritize. For many women, the disintegration of the family is unthinkable for various reasons. And each chooses his own way: to endure, to pretend that nothing is happening. Or to find consolation elsewhere, although such revenge is not the best out of the situation, or to step on the warpath for the right to defend her spouse. Each with their own methods.
The main thing is not to lose prudence – of course, you can compute the mistress, meet and frighten almost to death. But you will not achieve the desired result. On the contrary, can push a spouse to deciding to go faster.For my wife, when all secret becomes obvious:
The situation when the spouse doesn't know about the adventures of Mr right, of course, may continue, but keep in mind an immutable principle that the secret is revealed. Marriage saving wisdom, patience, waiting, trying to understand and forgive.
Try to do something, for example, spend money on yourself, start a repair, go on courses of sewing or learn horse riding. After calm down, feel confident, boost your self-esteem can, then, it is irony to see sweetie, I didn't mind the affair – men should fool around. Perhaps the relations of the husband would be legalized, will lose interest and a love charm?For a mistress:
The common phrase "for the love worth fighting for" may be acceptable for wives but for mistresses it is highly dubious. For whom to fight? For someone who declares publicly that it will not leave the family? So this relationship is to him only an ordinary love game.
It is possible that the lady wedged into a family, caught up with love. She is a good think, to try to lower emotions and to use logic with common sense, looking at the situation from the outside. Here is a man dreams that faces a choice. He asks for a timeout to make the decision and start to think long (sometimes decades), who prefer to rush between the two ladies, not to lose (think "Autumn marathon").Who leaves the game?
On the one hand, the legal spouse, a kind of anchor, even a heavy, but familiar. On the other – the unknown world, and who knows what all will end. Maybe loving lady should frankly ask ourselves: "Where is my ego?" As practice shows, if a man is really in love, not to torment doubts – he will do anything to be with the woman he loved. Obstacles will not stop – no joint property, no wife, no children.
In psychology, a love triangle is often the winner is the party which goes before. In any case, if we are talking about that which is "wedged into the relationship". The only correct decision in this situation would be just to leave and not to participate in the pursuit of a dubious prize. Not always the same, the situation is favorable. Of course, the mistress can draw a lucky ticket. But where is the guarantee that changing the status of free women and, finally, becoming a wife, she knows all the charm of infidelity already. published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki