Civil marriage - a road to nowhere or humiliation of women.

Before you start reading, I have a warning: if you "hands and feet" for civil marriage and open relationship, you'd better not to read my article. And men do not forget that it was unmarried woman humiliated. She said that she lives with roommate and what it padschaya woman ... and even through many humiliations she passes by living in such relationships.

To protect yourself from negative emotions and disputes, it is better to look on the Internet an article in favor of informal relations.

Who has not heard this phrase that the stamp in the passport does not solve anything, and does not give guarantees? I agree, no signed contract does not guarantee that it will not be broken by one of the parties. In life there are no guarantees, it is changeable and unpredictable.

Many assert that love is not hampered by a lack of the stamp. If so, it may interfere, if it is put? Unfortunately, experience shows that the stamp is easier not to than to put.

I can not judge whether it is good or bad. Civil marriage - a diagnosis. Woman living in a civil marriage - not married, but a man - not married. Hardly anyone will argue with that.

Give me one reason to be in a common law marriage. They are not. The only reason - is freedom. Freedom from obligation, responsibility and the choice.

Therefore, in such a relationship, I do not believe it. Explain the order.

"Civil marriage - this is not always the final selection (nedovybor). When a man and woman live together for a long time, but do not marry, you do not have the next important step, as if they are saying to each other: "I look forward to a better (better)." Bert Hellinger.

- All I know is that any woman with children, for example, a girl, hardly would like her to live in a civil marriage. Try to feel your body, how your heart responds to the following information: your daughter is not married and lives with a man in a civil marriage ... How do you feel when a relationship born of your grandchildren? For some, it is quite unacceptable, while others would say that seems to be nothing wrong with that, but there are some bad taste. And it is better not to think about. Close your eyes.

- For me, marriage is a kind of initiation ritual. Previously, it was a wedding today is the registration in the registry office. And this is very important. Any ritual draws a line - before and after. This event, after which begins a new life. Prior to that, you - the bride, and then - his wife. And the female psyche is designed so that for us is very important rituals. Therefore, any dreams of a wedding and the dress.

For example, in the Middle Ages, a man could wear it, but it could become a knight only after initiation. And it was not just a civic act, but also symbolic, which was accompanied by dressing up in different clothes and offering vows. The ceremony was long, and the family of the future knight was very expensive. But without this ritual he could not call himself a knight.

- Very often, young people living in an open relationship, their parents are not familiar with the parents of their partners, there is no association of two kinds, two family systems. If young submit documents to the registrar, the parents are usually familiar. All feel responsible, not only the couple, but also parents, close relatives. Everyone understands that there is an association. In civil relations there is no association.

- Anyone signing the papers connected with the subsequent implementation of commitments and incurring the consequences of their violation, punishment, a special procedure. Stamp - responsibility. This signing of the contract. Just do not get out of relationships registered. It is necessary to go through the process of divorce and to take responsibility for that relationship did not exist. And be divorced man.

In the case of a civil marriage, as he was free, and it still is. I have friends who have long lived in a civil marriage. When a man has decided to leave, he could not have the courage to admit that he was leaving for good. He just went to the other, as a free man. What might be a claim to it, because he promised nothing, did not sign anything.

The marriage is not possible, at least, will have to explain to his legal wife and take responsibility for the divorce. And everyone understands that life just does not pass, we are responsible for everything and pay for everything.

- I did not hear what people are afraid to make out the relationship because the stamp will spoil everything. "Legally married kills all the romance." That's right, if the person has not yet decided to make a final choice, the stamp will spoil everything. Marriage - a thread, tie-up, if you want it binds. One feels that he no longer available, it is beginning to depress, there is internal resistance to this kind of "unfreedom". A man becomes a romantic, and married.

The relationship was disintegrating, and as a result, someone comes out of the relationship. And then consider that the blame for the stamp, which "killed the romance." The stamp does not kill the romance and carefree and irresponsible.

- A huge number of people losing their score years and refuse to grow up. Free life gives a sense of youth - or rather, youth and light-heartedness. Marriage and family are not intended to such feelings. Women who come into such a relationship, encourage carelessness, do not give a man to grow up.

"The boys live together, create a family man." Steve Harvey
- Sometimes young people say they want a lavish ceremony, you want something grand, and no money. I do not believe it. So, we want to be "adults" and "play house" and we have no money. Well, you can dig and wait. No, I want everything at once: to get away from the parents, play a family. When there is a goal, there are means, and when the target is not present, there are excuses. And in the end turn out "adult" married bachelors.

- Travelers can not be eternal, the next stage of development of relations - it is the registrar. Bud can not be dismissed forever. And here the man must make a responsible decision - I do opt for this woman. Tell their parents, her parents that they are united. Or should he leave this woman and go further. Women sometimes do not give the man to make this important step, jumping prematurely from home.

- The unmarried woman believes that she is married, and the man said that he was a bachelor. I have often heard that people live together for 10 years, and a man and a woman does not call his wife and calls her his girlfriend. Maybe it sounds and romantic, but gives the whole meaning of such relations. And as a woman to call such a man - "a loved one with whom I live»?

- When a man refuses to marry, he seemed to take a woman out, no worries and responsibilities. And this gets everything which makes his wife: loyalty, emotional support, arranged life, love, children, and all he wants. When we rent a house, you perceive it as a temporary and do not really care about this room.

Keep your standards and do not forget about dignity. Why do you allow yourself to use? This does not mean that you have to ask him to marry you. Let him know that you will not need to rent. If he is scared, then you do not need it. If he is not ready to start a family, it is, at least, is true. Why live with a liar? But we are afraid to know the truth, so over the years we live in deception.

- Every man instinctively knows that he must marry. If he does not marry, so not ready. And if you are ready at the same time, it means that you have different goals. So he wants to live with a woman, but is afraid to get married? This man should be responsible for their actions. And you do not have to indulge him in his cowardice and cowardice.

Men in this sense spoiled. Today, women are available in any sense everywhere: in the subway, in transport and at work. Almost everyone is ready for any relationship. Therefore, if you do not have a clear position on this issue, it is a man, too, will not have.

"You see, for some men the marriage belongs to the same category as the consumption of vegetables: do you know what it should be, but in fact you do not want to do that because oiled, greasy, salty, juicy burger tastes better." Steve Harvey.
- Often a civil marriage is called "rehearsal", "removing the sample." Fraud clean water. How can I check it? Sometimes relationships begin to deteriorate after three years or after birth. Then you have to try it - it will be with you with a pregnant treated as children will communicate. According to this theory it is necessary to twenty years to try to not make the wrong choice. The relationship may deteriorate and after 10-20 years of life, when all goals are achieved, apartments bought, children have grown up.

In fact, a woman begins to live in a civil marriage, not in order to experience the feelings, and to keep a man, and find at least some stability in the relationship. But this is self-deception. As there was no certainty and no.

- Often, the woman herself is the initiator of cohabitation. Most often, it generally turns a blind eye to the true attitude of the partner on his feelings. She meets liked the man, she wants to get closer, and the man does not make suggestions. Of course, man is always for the home comfort and reasonable relationship, so he agreed to live together. But he did not agree to marry. Feel the difference, as they say.

Then the woman waiting for suggestions, but it does not make a man. She convinces herself that the family is not important stamp. She considers herself as his wife, and his - her husband, however, this "husband" often still married to another. And how would she claim to be, deep down she is aware of his precarious status.

- If the civil marriage there are children, then I do not see why not register relationship. It is irresponsible to them. They're a very good feeling that something is wrong, the parents have different surnames. And why my mother and father are not married? Why did not he propose to her? Why did it not chosen? We live in a society, the children go to school, and they are not as free as their parents. Why do they have to explain that my father home, but they did not register with her mother relationship?

- Most young people do not get married because of public protest, they say, we are not a herd, and live according to their understanding: - "To our great love stamp is not required." Always in a pair of one person does not want to draw relationships and other broadcasts about exclusivity, about the free world. But behind all this lurks undone choices and expectations better partner.

I've had friends who have lived 13 years in informal ways, and the surrounding could not even assume that they are not husband and wife, all seemed well. Do not sign it because of the fact that just do not "believe" in a formal marriage. Then the man met another woman, and six months later it signed.

I know that if a man meets a woman, he leads her to the registrar. If he does not lead you, then waiting for another. He did not choose you. Perhaps it's tough, but it's true.

- Man is by nature the owner, and if he meets a woman, and she had fully satisfied, then stamped no problem. He will insist on this. For a man, it is important to convey the status of the selected women, as well as its name. In the case of civil marriage does not happen. Really, if a man made a final choice, it will allow a woman to be free? I do not believe it.

- The basic needs of women - is the need for security. How can it be granted in a civil marriage? Nothing. Subconsciously, she always felt concern for tomorrow, it can not relax in such a relationship. All women need to be defined.

It follows from this time there is no confidence in the partner, so a woman can count only on themselves. She can not trust a partner, it must hedge and to keep abreast of. And it's killing her as a woman.

I'm guessing that I will get a lot of letters and comments that you know a lot of couples who live happily without a stamp that they love and harmony.

So I want to warn this kind of writing. We sometimes with something we can not understand, understand what is happening in our family. And what do we know about the others? The facade can be beautiful, but what lies behind it, we can not know.

I know only one thing - almost every woman wants to have certainty in the relationship. And it is unlikely it is to be eternal fiancée, girlfriend or mistress, of course, if she does not wait for the best party in the relationship.

All this talk about freedom of choice is not entirely sincere and natural. It is important to know the truth, and finally stop deceiving itself primarily. After all, in the end, only a woman allows or does not allow an open relationship.

And men do not forget that it was unmarried woman humiliated. She said that she lives with roommate and what it padschaya woman ... and even through many humiliations she passes by living in such relationships.

Tatiana Dzutseva


See also

New and interesting