Only after the first year of cohabitation with my ex-wife I began to guess that the difference between us is not only external differences, upbringing and personal preference. Perhaps the first thing that surprised me is how his wife perceived the events in her life. For example, in the evening, she shared the events of the past day. Her story could last an hour. It was a lot of detail, sub-stories, feelings and experiences. Despite the fact that the events of the day often were quite ordinary, nothing special. When the turn to share came to me, I gave the air a few sentences about some important events for me. This my story came to an end. This despite the fact that I really had the desire to share. And if the wife asked probing questions about my feelings towards what happened, I started blatantly blunt, not even realizing what is required of me. They say, how can there be feelings? In the initial period of the relationship that led to her suspicion of my insincerity. Moreover, comparing our stories, I began to doubt it. Especially considering the fact that I am free to operate with philosophical categories, and was generally inclined to indulge in reflections. Then I set out to study this issue, and over time it became apparent to me how differently we focusareas on what is happening. My focus was my only goal. And my male vision of the situation boiled down to a few options:
- the goal stunned
- not the target
- the goal has not yet struck
The rest of my attention not to dwell and was considered not particularly significant. Listening to evening stories wife, I was forced to admit that my way of seeing the world is narrow and primitive. But my wife, of course, this was not recognized. I'm a guy!:) The big difference I quietly studied her model of perception, along with looking and comparing models of other people. It turned out that the majority of women in one degree or another, perceive information in a similar way. And this perception has many advantages. For example, attention to detail, richness of experiences, sensitivity to the inner States — our own and those of others. But this did not stop. Over time, I began to notice more and more "feminine features", while not defined between a man and a woman a big difference. And in most cases not in favor of men. All the difference in the degree and speed of development of men and women are clearly visible if you look at what they behave as children. Now, boys compared to girls the same age is primitive and single-tasking creatures. And worst of all, the situation itself does not change with age.
Male the situation can only be changed by conscious effort. Women after 25 years rooted in the condescending attitude to men, as beings certainly useful, but slightly backward, like the big kids. They, of course, men do not say, but if you turn away from the male prejudices and to look to their behavior, the veil from the eyes will quickly subside.
And if a man will dare to examine this issue — he will be forced to admit that women have every reason to be. In my experience of 30 years men have little chance to ever catch up with the woman he's in a relationship. And most often, if a man considers himself to be more developed, it is only because he feels woman of the male line, and therefore does not see the obvious — the woman originally given more. The ways of perception and spiritual development So what exactly is the difference in perception? It is expressed as: male incoming information first analyzes, categorizes, interprets, and only then, if you agree with it — passes through itself. And most of the original information after a male treatment crumbs. And understand this question subtly: the information is not just the meanings that we convey through words, but state, feelings, sensations, skills. The woman opposite — first pass information through itself, and only then if it will be the occasion to share with someone in conversation — interprets it. The difference between these processes is enormous and provides a great handicap to a woman before man in the first decade of life. She almost immediately learns the information, translating it into the skills and experience, while experiencing co-morbid conditions. The process of analysis and alignment of incoming information in some clear structure to women in the beginning is not interesting at all, and later interesting only in the context of communicating with men as a way to take in new condition, or find a better source. Purely mental processes, relying on some abstraction seem women absolutely barren, not bearing any experience and therefore tiring. This is one of the reasons why men have created a false impression of its development in comparison with the woman. For example, he tries to identify her picture of the world through philosophical categories. And the woman a way to Express their vision not typical. In General, any speech without tangible conditions, audible and visible images of the bad affects her. If a woman says mostly abstract language, she seems to lose her femininity in the eyes. And most women feels it and avoids.
Due to the fact that a woman is going through, and thinks about it, 25 years she is much more experienced men. Almost everything. The man next to her in these years as immature teenager. He sure knows more women, because she can't answer his tricky philosophical questions. But when it comes to specific situations, it appears that the woman are able to act without relying on some philosophy, while the man comprehends what is happening and can not decide on the action. Did you hear about the women who created some coherent philosophical or psychological theory? Or maybe the spiritual teachings and religion? I think few of you know.
You may also notice that the lines of succession of the majority of spiritual teachings there are no women. But if you look at the participants of different educational lectures and trainings, you will notice that the women in them are almost always significantly more. Especially if the presenter has charisma. Nearly all women practical exercises are given immediately. And the same reason a woman prefers to pass through the state. Theoretical concepts for them are secondary. And what about the man? And the man works in its development until not lay down a clear picture of the world in which it will operate, clearly defining their purpose and tendency. Therefore, for men are important influencers and the theory with which his picture of the world and adds up. It's a plus and minus. The downside is that men at the beginning of his development of external support. He almost never relies on his inner core. Plus the fact that this external support is to give him the lofty ideal, and some idea of the way to it. As I wrote earlier, the man first analyzes and interprets what is happening. For this reason his attention is constantly directed to external objects, in which he loses the sense of himself. At the root of the male perception — a sense of inferiority, a search. And it's funny that the feeling of inferiority and makes the man the main evolutionary level of mankind. Think about it. For women external objects is not important, important to her, her own impressions of them. Remember, she first passes the information through. And in this she is like a vessel into which the world pours various liquid, leaving on its walls, all new tastes. It is rooted in the feeling of usefulness and not feel some kind of internal short. She doesn't need to leave your centre. And as a result her inner core tight men's. Is there such a position cons? Yes. Just one. Woman deep inside doesn't believe that she needs something to change in yourself. A sense of usefulness robs her of the motivation to spiritual feat. Just that. And what's even more interesting, by and large, her this spiritual feat and not needed. It can make the man she will be fully as yourself. This will be enough to get away from it all is what he has come through the efforts. And this, by the way, it is not easy, given its current condescending attitude towards men. Therefore, in marriage, a wise woman in every way inspires a man to grow. Its task is to raise him to their level. After that, all further achievements can become its own. The man needs to learn how to perceive information. Relying on masculine qualities. For him, it is a daunting task. To accept life without their own intervention (in the form of constant thinking and evaluation) is perceived by the man as a kind of inner suicide. Descartes once said: I think, therefore I exist. It is very masculine utterance. For men the loss of their judgments is tantamount to losing himself. And it's scary. This step can take years to his spiritual path. If a man will begin to analyze the spiritual practices, or ordinances of the martial arts, he will understand that the majority of them has a "female character". Judge for yourself: to accept without resistance, to draw the enemy's strength against him, to meet hardness with softness, to be empty, flexible, supple, easy. P. S. of Course, in our strange vremva men and women mixed and not always manifest themselves so clearly as I have described. Men and women today often switch roles. However, the person can not escape from the original parameters, in the form of male and female body, which in many ways function differently. For example, the work of their hormonal systems are very different. And this causes differences in the tendencies of the psyche. And our instincts are different. So everyone who believes our differences are rather conventional — it is better to go into this question. The differences are many more than I touched in this article. I have only touched upon the root. P. P. S. And, of course, the soul has no sex. But only to realize themselves outside of the human form and thinking about this — not the same thing. P. P. P. S. I Learned a long time to tell us about any events? Yeah:)) I now find it difficult to write short article:)) P. P. P. P. S. Inspiration to you!