Depression is cancelled: 10 tips from the bestseller by Richard O'connor

 





1. Don't be afraid to chuvstvitelen emotions is one of the main causes of depression, to prevent its visit, you must first learn to accept your feelings without blaming myself for them. A depressive personality from childhood live with the guilt, and so accustomed to it that they can't imagine life without self-abasement and self-flagellation. The paradox is that sometimes people do not even realize what is to blame is so powerful barriers that they themselves pose. As a result, negative desires and aspirations are nipped in the Bud, and the vague feeling of guilt remains. For example — demure-wife years feels anger against the tyrant-husband, but due to various reasons (for example, fear of physical violence) it did not show. Giving vent to feelings, a spouse, however, is ashamed of them and her mental problem gradually worse.

The main thing — to understand that we anyway can not escape from our emotions, the ability to experience them instilled in us by nature. The suppression of feelings consumes an enormous amount of energy that can be used with much greater benefit. Do not abuse protective mechanisms — you run the risk of not forget how to experience strong emotions. Try to understand what generated your vibrant experiences that create a "mood Diary" where you will describe emotional impulses. Periodically reread the record, you understand — feelings nothing to fear and even more to avoid them. Your emotions is you yourself.

2. Work on your behavior

Of course, one just good intentions depression does not win, your desire should manifest itself in practice. Radically change their behaviour is difficult, but possible, and the sooner you start to work on this, the better.

For example, take the habit to put aside "for later" (called procrastination) is a sure sign of impending or already developed depression. Procrastinators believe that the motivation for action needs to arise by itself, but this is incorrect. In fact, often the opposite is true — motivation follows action and instead of endlessly waiting for "the right situation" or "inspiration", you need to make the first move. The second will be given to you much easier.

The struggle with procrastination better lead in several stages. First select the task which is constantly set aside. Make a list of pros and cons that you will get to cope with it. Develop an action plan, based on their capabilities. Try to positively focus on the work. In the course of its execution do not forget to praise yourself for what's already done, train yourself to enjoy the achievement of the objectives.

If this algorithm is too complicated, try the "Irish method" — when an Irishman finds no way to overcome the high wall, he throws over his hat. In the end, he had no choice but to be on the other side. In other words — put yourself in a situation in which you simply'll have to work.

3. Train force valiumaddiction — the Foundation of a successful and active life. Not developing your will power, you will hardly be able to achieve something outstanding, not to mention how to cope with depression. Modern medical research shows that willpower is not so much an innate quality, how much a skill amenable to training. Forcing yourself to do sometimes is not too pleasant, but the right things, you change the structure of your brain, expanding and strengthening neural connections responsible for self-control.

As with physical exercise, you need to work daily on willpower, if you really want to come to success. Fight the temptation, and distraction, avoid enablers (people who push you to self-destructive behavior), don't hesitate to ask for help from family and friends. Unable to find a group of like-minded people — say, those who are just like you are dieting or trying to quit Smoking. In the case of failure do not despair, do not let them be misled. Remember even the longest journey consists of many steps, celebrate each step forward and with due patience and perseverance you will definitely reach my goal!

4. Get rid of harmful previouselement from alcohol or drugs is one of the most frequent problems, faced by depressed or predisposed to it. The close relationship between depression and use of alcohol or psychoactive substances no longer have medical doubt. Over the years, they go on about a vicious circle where people trying to cope with depression in a similar way. Some see in alcohol "cure-all": it gives confidence, lifts the mood, gets rid of complexes, but the problem is that it is temporary. Numerous side effects of this "treatment" dramatically worsen the physical and mental condition of the person and reduce the chances of returning to normal life almost to zero.

If you are used to "solve problems" with alcohol or drugs, the first thing you need to do is to refuse addictions. Besides the obvious health benefits, getting rid of bad habits is a great chance to practice willpower. To make it easier to start a new life, unable to join the society, which deals with the rehabilitation of drug and alcohol addicts. Don't be ashamed of your problems, many people managed to cope with such difficulties, get it and you.

5. Learn otdihajet practice shows, people often become depressed, because did not know how to relax. One can not imagine leisure time without alcohol, which ultimately causes new stress for others there is no better relaxation than to spend the whole day watching TV, and others, and does believe that a successful person should all the time give work: "Rest? In the light of the rest!".

There are different ways to do leisure time not only pleasant, but also effective. Because of work for months can't go the boring route "house-office-house"? Dedicate your holidays to communicate with friends, making friends, try to spend more time in public places. If because of the professional activities you have a lot to communicate with people at leisure, try to avoid noisy companies, spend your free time with the "second half" or family. If you are among the people who even on the weekends I can't sit around — get yourself some Hobbies. Learning to appreciate the small pleasures of life, you'll soon notice that your physical and mental state has improved significantly.

6. Take care of your zdorovtsev suffering from depression it is popular opinion that the source of all ills is in their head. It is not so, our body and brain are a unified system, and each part of it most directly affects all the others. There is such a thing as psychosomatic, its essence is that the mental processes inevitably affect the physical condition of the person and can even trigger the development of any physiological disease. Present feedback — a deterioration of physical health is detrimental to the psyche, so the more you take care of your body, the easier it will be to solve psychological problems. Engage in sports or physical exercise, establish a normal routine, develop a healthy diet, enroll in a massage and Spa salons. Medical studies show regular exercise in the treatment of depression as effective as antidepressants, and in the long term the benefits are much higher than from drugs.

Do not justify ourselves, that you have "no room and time" for health care — you will find both, it would wish.

7. Fight with stress amestecate stress, especially if they threaten to develop into a permanent depression can destroy even the strongest relationship. Depressed are not always able to adequately assess the actions, adjust their behavior and compromise, so for the second half the disease of the beloved (or the beloved) it becomes real torture. The best strategy in this case is to establish a trusting relationship with the partner and using them as a support, to let him know that you appreciate and love him, in spite of temporary difficulties. In stress people in need of cooperation and support, so don't succumb to the selfish impulse to exclaim, "Deal with your problems yourself!", and leave, slamming the door.

For the depressing, or experiencing permanent stress of the individual, it is important to recognize the issues, not hide them behind a mask of anger or deliberate cheerfulness. Calm discussion of their fears and the ways of getting rid of them without recriminations and accusations - the first step to a normal life. Overcoming difficulties together, you will strengthen your relationship and raise it to a new level.

8. Be optimistically proven that wounds optimists heal faster than pessimists and mental trauma is no exception. Pessimism significantly increases the risk of depression, so the more optimistic you will be looking into the future, the more likely that you have never encounter any serious health problems, both physical and mental.

Pessimistic attitude to life can turn into learned helplessness, which is considered to be one of the models of depression. Learned helplessness is manifested in the fact that the man convinces himself that can not affect the situation, so nothing to try.

Come what may, stay positive, always find a place in the life hope. By the way, according to famed American psychologist Martin Seligman, hope is the ability to find temporary and specific (not generalized) explanation of the failure. Having failed, pessimistic loser begins to complain: "As always, I screwed up...", and optimistic, hopeful, concluded: "Apparently, I wasn't ready, next time will take into account the mistakes".

9. Keep your "inner critic"inside of each of you occasionally argue two sides of your nature, one of them can be called the "inner critic" and the other "defender". Typically, the "critic" is much more timid "defender", he constantly points out your mistakes and weaknesses: "You're late again for work! Again and you probably will be fired as possible? Cheer up!". The "protector" in turn, or hesitantly trying to make excuses: "Who knew there would be traffic, and only half an hour late..." or translates the conversation to another topic ("Hurry this day, in the evening drink some wine and sleep"), or just silent.

The "inner critic" — these are your fears, which is most clearly manifested in stressful situations, and "defender" — the complex of habits and psychological mechanisms by which you get out of trouble. Among them is denial, dissociation (desire to move away) and rationalization. Also, in the "defender" can include abuse of alcohol and hard substances, overeating or, say, addiction to shopping, which allows to forget about problems.

To the "critic" went too far in his quest to make you always feel guilty, try to calmly analyze his "charges" and to take note of them. Self-criticism is, of course, useful, but if it becomes obsessive or inappropriate, it is likely that depression is on the way. It is important to distinguish their mistakes from circumstances, it does not let the "defender" just "shy away" from the just reproach (see item 4) — this will give a "criticism of" new reasons for derogatory remarks.

If you find a compromise between "critic" and "advocate" itself is not possible, you should consult an experienced therapist for all the years of training, professionals learn how to effectively deal with such problems, they will help you to emerge victorious from the dispute.

10. Take care of your "I"the loss of the integrity of the "I" is one of the main dangers that are fraught with depression. To avoid this, clearly define the boundaries of "I", find the balance between autonomy and merger. Autonomy presupposes the presence of a strong "I" and a large number of internal resources, and the merger is the "dissolution" of their identity in other people, unwillingness to take responsibility. But do not think that autonomy is unambiguously positive and fusion negative. In some cases, too, the insistence of the autonomy of "I" leads to isolation and loneliness. Merging can also be useful in communicating when it is necessary to understand the interlocutor, to look at the situation through his eyes.

The most effective can be considered "polypropylene" border "I" — in other words, when you are able be aware of, in what cases it is possible to let in another person in yourself, and what better to keep the boundaries of "the castle". Inside your "I" should always be responsibility and awareness, that is understanding that your feelings and thoughts will remain a secret until you yourself decide to talk about them. Clearly defined lines of responsibility mean that you personally are responsible only for themselves, their welfare, their actions or inaction. An understanding of the limits of his own "I" is one of the main conditions for a successful and happy life without depression.published

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: www.factroom.ru/books/richard-oconnor