Casting. First impression and partner selection

© Mad Men

Casting is the shortest stage of the relationship, that does not make it less important. After all, at this stage, we select the partners with whom would not mind to get acquainted closer with and in turn we selected. And the casting selection is preliminary. It may happen that after casting, the next step we abandon the development of relations with the partner. The same thing can make it.

 

At casting stage, we actually answer a fairly simple question: is the partner for us sexually attractive, and do we want with him of an intimate relationship. And that's all we are interested in at this stage.

How we answer this question?

Of course, initially, we react primarily to the visual appeal of the partner and in just a few seconds decide, we are attracted by the partner or not. And what a rich inner world?

Of course, a person's character affects how he looks. Emotionality, openness, spontaneity, or lack of confidence, shyness, restraint, all this is reflected in the appearance. All together people perceived as a single image.

Biological factors

I will not dwell on them, because You can easily find this information. The web is literally crawling with articles on 10 signs of sexuality. Authors usually report the results of the same research.

Everything usually comes down to the fact that an attractive woman must have:

• figure with hips, one-third wider than the waist;
  
  
• skin tone, testifying to the youth (especially the face);
  
  
• pronounced chest;
  
  
• the symmetry of the figure;
  
  
• children's facial expression.
  
  

Attractive men have the following options:

• high growth;
  
  
• low voice;
  
  
• square jaw;
  
  
• the symmetry of the face;
  
  
• the dark rim of the iris;
  
  
• developed muscles (I read somewhere that especially gluteal).
  
  

I think that both lists are supplemented and complemented. Someone else expands the list by adding behavior, gait, expression of emotions and stuff. Perhaps this is the case, although, in my opinion, this is not the only and perhaps not the most important evaluation criteria of the partner.

The image of the partner

In my high school class was two cute girls. Half of the boys were "in love" in one, half in another. There was another girl, on account of which three Romeo. Was a classmate who met with the guys "". There were those, in whom no one was in love. They did not enjoy popularity among the male sex. One of them was Kate, a seemingly inconspicuous girl a little to look down the school beauty, and do not look guys.

Kate that is one of the first married after graduation, although many predicted the her lot of loneliness. Therefore, all took the news with some surprise. She has a lovely family with two children, which, incidentally, can not boast of all the "stars" of the school. So it's not just about looks?

I think looks definitely matter, but not separate parts – the large Breasts, or developed musculature in men. Importance is a solid image of a potential partner.

I think that if I ask You, You can easily describe a type that You like. In the minds of everyone we have the image of the partner. When we meet with potential partners, we compare them with the image that is in our head. And the closer a real person to the image, the more attractive it is for us.

How is the way a potential partner?

Some clear research on this matter, I have not found, so I will rely on my own observations and analysis. I think that the formation of the image can be affected by several mechanisms.

Imprinting

The imprinting means imprinting (imprint) of an object image in early childhood. The phenomenon of imprinting was opened in experiments on chickens, which in a short time after birth is imprinted the image of the parent. If the Chicks in the first hours saw the scientist, not the mother, it is him they perceive in the future as a parent. And everywhere follow him, not his biological mother.

The mechanisms of imprinting the image of an object and a person are formed in childhood and adolescence. In this case only one event which will be backed by strong emotions that could eventually lead to the consolidation of the image of object in consciousness.

For example, a boy vacationing with his parents at sea and their family met with a woman who wasn't wearing under clothes bra. When she bent down he had seen naked Breasts for the first time felt excitement. A strong emotional experience can lead to the fact that this woman could stand as an image of potential partner. He may not remember this moment, but the image still remains.

In my opinion, the formation of the image of the partner is quite strongly influenced by the parent of the opposite sex. Moreover, the process can go in two ways:

Identity. Formed the image of the partner, echoing the traits of the parent of the opposite sex. This often occurs in girls whose fathers they doted. In this case, the imprinting supports do not have the excitement and other positive emotions. Especially if the girl is nice father's attention, she feels love and security. Moreover, imprinted and external and internal image. Further, at the stage of casting, she will evaluate a man by external criteria of identity of the image. But with the deepening of the relations to the fore will come out based on the characteristic features of the image.

Opposite. Formed the image of the partner, which is almost diametrically opposite of the parent. Usually in this mechanism, the image is formed in children, who tend to protest reaction to parental influence.

For example, dad was a domestic tyrant. Bad attitude to mother and to daughter. Was adamant, irritable, quick-tempered. While impressive physique. A girl like slender, calm, considered, gentle men.

Or the boy's mother is a typical housewife, that aims to see that all were fed, watered, obstinacy and happy. A much not watching. All for husband and children. The boy perceives his mother as a woman and the way a potential partner can become the complete opposite of mother. Bright, beautiful, well-groomed woman.

Can the image of the partner to be formed by way of identity, if the child is from the parent of the opposite sex have not seen anything good?

In my opinion, that is confirmed by numerous observations. When the girl's father behaved in a dismissive, belittling. Insulted, did not reckon, however, she chooses a husband like her father, both externally and internally.

The mother of all childhood find fault with the son, and he married a woman who "eats" his brain with a teaspoon, and is strikingly similar to his mother.

While it is possible that in these examples the image of a potential partner is not so much imprinting how scenic the origin.

The script and the image of the partner

If a person has a script, he needs a partner that will allow him to realize this scenario. If a girl script "a deliverer", it surely needs to be the man she will be able to take care of. It is quite suitable for the alcoholic, or immature male. They are usually clear in appearance and behavior.

Self-esteem and the image of the partner

The type of self-assessment also has certain influence on the choice of a partner. For men self-esteem "I+I If the best is important to a woman came under the accepted standards of beauty. Therefore, usually requirements to appearance of the partner is quite high.

"I+If Pleasing others" to a lesser extent, pay attention to appearance of the partner, because for them, the most important attitude of a partner, rather than his appearance.

What is the result?

At the auditions we look for a partner and compare the way we see the image of the partner that is in our head. Ask yourself the question: "do I Want to get acquainted?" If the answer is "Yes", it is possible to continue the relationship.

That partner was casting, does not mean that the relationship will be. For life casting we have a lot of partners, most of whom we do not even try to start a relationship. But if the partner does not pass the audition, or we do not pass it the casting, the development of relations is impossible.

I believe that the first impression is important. It is what we orientirueshsya first. It consists of external factors that influences the maintenance man. Sometimes the person may not meet the standards of beauty, but to be very charming.

The experience of participants in the coaching “Formula of Love” which we hold regularly throughout the year and which was devoted to the creation of relations, suggests that when a person brings in the harmony of appearance and inner content, he quickly finds a partner. No problems with the passage of the first stage, not being the standard of beauty.

So it all depends on the person. You need to consider the patterns of this phase.published

Author: Boris Litvak

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: www.cross-club.ru/library/article/kasting-pervoe-vpechatlenie-i-vybor