When are you going to complain, be careful what you say. Not always words that Express discontent, will help you to feel better. In this article, Stephanie Vozza, will tell you how to complain properly to get the result. Stop whining. It's not interesting, and is bad for you.
Researchers from Stanford University came to a disappointing conclusion – even half an hour daily complaints physically harm our brain. No matter are you as complaining or as hearer, negative affects neurons of the hippocampus – the part of the brain that performs cognitive function, and is responsible for the solution of problems.
Over time, people accustomed to complain. If your surrounded by a lot of whiners, it's likely you'll quickly become one of them.
Guy winch, PhD and author of the book "Squeaky wheel" says that the members of our society complain very much, but unfortunately, ineffective. According to him, we have forgotten the true purpose of the complaint, and use it as a way to unloading, and this has its consequences.
Dr. winch explains that this approach leads to the following results. His research shows an interesting trend – 95% of consumers of a certain product, having a claim to it, give them not the manufacturer, and 8-16 people. Thus, the complaint is just "shaking the air" because those who are really able to solve the problem, don't know.
In addition, the habit of complaining increases the amount of cortisol (stress hormone) in the blood. Guy winch says that every time we want to grumble in life, the more we put ourselves into stress. In the end the situation many times worse. Complain properly to get the result
So now we have a problem. What to do? According to Dr. winch, the correct approach to complaints will not only help to find a solution but also to calm the man, to establish a relationship. It offers the 7 following methods.1. The complaint must have a clear objective.
Before to talk about their troubles, mentally mark the target. If you want to complain about a person or company, don't do it until you understand what you want to achieve. A scientist declares that the target definition has two advantages. First, it helps to calm down. We have limited intellectual resources. Thus, the more we think about the target, the less mangled wood. Secondly, it will give the chance to the interlocutor to help you. After all, if we do not know what we want, how can you demand it from the other? Marking targets is an important part of the process, when we complain partner, friend or colleague, because in this case we have very little time to prepare. Dr. winch advises not to start talking until you know what you're dissatisfied and what you want.2. Start by finding a positive.
Before diving into the problem, understand that the outcome can be positive. Even professionals customer service will go on the defensive, if they attack angrily. The complaint is equal to the charge. Therefore, starting a lively discussion, make the opponent want to help you, not just snapped in response. Tell me something positive that people see your loyalty and commitment to solve the problem together. In this way you disarm an opponent, and he will carefully listen to you. 3. Without going into details.
If the problem cannot be solved for some time, keep the discussion based on recent events. It is not necessary to dive into the discussion of small details, stick to the facts and put emotion aside. 4. Ends on a positive note
If the problem is solved, tell your opponent that it will improve your relationship, or at least: "I really appreciate your help." Dr. winch compares the complaint with the sandwich – if it both sides with positive statements, it is easier to "eat". If you are positive, the other person will feel it, will be more disposed to you and he wants to do something to help solve your problem. 5. Consider whom you are complaining.
If you Express a complaint on any company, remember that your partner probably has no connection to it and its products irrelevant. Dr. winch States that the complaint is also asking for help, so please Express it politely. Of course, it is not always easy, because at this point you want to be more aggressive than nice. If you are not able to control their emotions, or at least be aware of them. For example, before you start to complain, tell the opponent that they have no claims to him personally. 6. Correctly use the media.
Complaints with the media is a double – edged sword. To use this method very easily and also effectively. In fact, many companies monitor and analyze information about themselves in the media. However, to get help, it is necessary to provide sufficient information, and their data. For example, if your flight was cancelled you can do about it post on Twitter and get instant results than to stand in line with everyone else for the next 45 minutes. 7. To let go and forget.
Regardless of the outcome, be prepared to let it go instead of dwell on it. Minor irritants can cost us mental health. Dr. winch recommends to learn "emotional health" and to get rid of bad habits. If you do give preference to those things that upset you, you will end up feeling like a victim. Conversely, if you bow down to what makes you stronger, you will increase your level of self-esteem.
Methods that you use when you complain, show your level of emotional consistency.published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©