7 most common childhood grievances. How to respond

Abuse №1. Fatigue

Options: "I'm tired", "I can not" - and so the whole day, no matter how much time has passed after the holiday.

The secret meaning of the complaint: Complaining of fatigue, the child establishes the fact and expects you to an appropriate response. If you are too keen on some business - so he can try to get your attention. If you load it up too much - complaining of fatigue, baby means "leave me alone." But the child begins to groan every time you give it an unpleasant task - it's just a way to manipulate you.
In this pipsqueak does not want to admit that he has no desire to fulfill your request. In general, a child seems that complaints of fatigue sound less offensive to you, and more believable for him.
How to respond: Find out on what the baby is tired, and what kind of help he is waiting for you: to sympathize, to sit next to or on the contrary disappear from his sight. Offering the child to rest, to be discussed in the affairs of the pause: "Why do not you, now look cartoon (must lie) and a rest, and then we'll go to the store (continuing to engage)." Do not forget to ask after a while-being sleep or daughter. So you show that complaints do not miss a deaf ear and really experience for the child.
What not to say: "We had less to run (screaming, indulge ...)" - is not the time to criticism. If a child is manipulating you do not need to demonstrate that you know the real reason for his whims - "You're always tired when I ask to help me." Better next time before you ask for something, ask for his health. Then the baby will not be able to simulate the guise of fatigue.

Complaint № 2. On the boredom

Options: When asked what are you so sad child responds that he is bored. Although it is clear and without words, the expression on his face.
The secret meaning of the complaint: Kid used to being entertained, and can not come up with something to do on their own. Or is it too long played one and now he wants to talk to you, but he is afraid to distract mom or dad from household chores and waiting for you to notice his sad expression.
How to respond: Encourage your child to plan your free time. Together decide when it will play when the draw when watching cartoons, and when to do homework. "Why do not you play a little after kindergarten, and then together we read, and then you will be going to watch a cartoon. Alternate time together and separate child's play. If you have noticed that the kid loiter with a sad expression on his face - an interest that he now according to plan, what he was going to do.
What not to say: "Well, go do something - you have so many toys," "Come, read (Remove in my room) - if you do not know what you do!". It is undesirable to offer child "fun" uninteresting it works. From this alternative it will be even more sad.

Abuse №3. On the other children

Options: "Pasha beats me", "Masha takes me toys" - and so after each communication with peers. All around bad - he's a good one.
The secret meaning of the complaint: If such a complaint says the three-year toddler - this is normal. But if on the other children complain child 5-6 years of age - this indicates the inability to find a common language with their peers. If a child is always looking for the guilty - he does not know how to analyze their behavior and the behavior of other children. Probably a little kid talking to other children. He used that adults (parents, grandparents, older siblings) are always inferior to him, and wonders why other children behave differently.
How to respond: More often leave a child alone with the other children. If the kids something can not divide or quarrel - does not fit. Give the child of the opportunity to solve their problems. When pipsqueak complains try it logically explain the behavior of other children. "Pasha beat you not because he is bad, but because you took away the machine».
What not to say: "You are to blame" - now do not have to look for the guilty, you need to explain to the child why the other kids behave in a certain way.

Abuse №4. For adults (grandparents, caregivers)

Options: "Grandma always makes me eat soup and then I have a stomach ache," "The teacher puts me to sleep during the day - and night I can not sleep»
The secret meaning of the complaint: Such complaints often arise when all adults are engaged in raising a child, different views on the educational process. The child does not understand why my mother did not allow to sleep during the day and makes the teacher; why parents can not eat soup, and my grandmother insists on the opposite ...
How to respond: Complaints will disappear as soon as the adults come to a common view of the child's upbringing and children's daily routine. If you adhere to a single line teaching can not - explain to your child that sometimes circumstances lead to violate one or another schedule.
What not to say: "Tell me, my grandmother that I did not let you eat the soup" - no need to manipulate adults using children. "Grandma is not right" - such statements you are setting up the baby against other adults (who do not fulfill your needs for his education).

Abuse №5. The lack of free time

Options: Every day at bedtime child complains that he had not had time to do it - "Once again, I did not have time to see the cartoons." Or, when you ask for help, he says, which again will not have time to play the computer to draw.
The secret meaning of the complaint: You may have loaded too kid, and he has really no free time. Or the child does not know how to plan it, he too is interested in one thing, to the detriment of the rest of the classes.
How to respond: To avoid complaints of lack of time - together with your child, make a detailed schedule of the day, which in addition to the time visiting the various sections will be the place to fulfill your orders (help mom) and free time. Advance warning of things you baby "to finish the game after 20 minutes, we will wash the floor." Then he will have the opportunity to mentally prepare for the unpleasant duty, and your request will not be a surprise to him.
What not to say: "You just do everything very slowly" - your job is to be a daily routine, taking into account the individual characteristics of the child. If you know that the baby long dresses (washes, eats) withdrawing these procedures as much time as he needs. Do not rush the child phrase "Come quickly, we're late" - if you customize it, the little man will arise a feeling of constant lack of time.

Abuse №6. Problems in kindergarten

Options: "I have again nothing happens", "I draw the worst (jump, sing)».
The secret meaning of the complaint: Baby wants to speak out and share with you their problems. He needs a listener. If a child all the time complaining about the same thing (I sing badly) - he thus tries to explain their priorities.
How to answer: Listen carefully to the complaints of the baby. All you have to do is to portray a genuine interest (and in fact it is not difficult, is it? ..) To its problems, and periodically insert encouraging remarks like "Wow!". And when he finally uttered, summing up: "I'm sure you cope with everything, you're so smart (a real athlete, the most beautiful, the best singing ...)." Do not try to analyze the situation and get to the truth. Your task is to return the child self-confidence and an optimistic outlook on life. Be sure to ask if you can help in this situation and offer some solutions to the problem (I let you learn how to draw, you want to enroll in the School of Music).
What not to say: Do not try to soothe a child of phrases like "this isnt a problem! Now I have today ... ". At the moment the child is looking for a vest, which you can complain. He is not ready to listen to your concerns, moreover, that at his level his troubles him, indeed, seem significant and more serious than yours.

Abuse №7. To life

Options: To the question "How are you" - the child is always one answer - it is bad, not really, but so-so. In general, a bad day, life is a failure. In conversations with other children, he often says the phrase "Lucky you." A story about the friends begins with the words "How good Masha, she has a big bike (dog, computer, television).
The secret meaning of the complaint: The child pessimistic stock character. He can not rejoice in the fact that it has and is jealous of others. Before you blame him for "sad" outlook on life - carefully analyze their conversations at home. Most likely the baby constantly hears from adults about some issues that need to be urgently addressed and sees his life as one big "bad luck." At the same time from outsiders he does not hear anything like that, and I am sure that they live much easier.
How to respond: Your task is to teach a child to enjoy what you have and appreciate the present. Less discuss various problems at home. First of all, try to learn to enjoy themselves present and underscore just crumbs on the positive. Get tradition last to each other pleasant events. Suppose, for example, at dinner, every family member will tell you that he was a good day, and that he was happy. At first you'll have to pull out the baby with the help of pleasant memories of leading questions, but he gradually learn to pay attention on the positive aspects of life.
What not to say: "Always you have all bad", "You again dissatisfied with everything" - from a "support" the child will become even worse.

Complaints without hidden meaning, which can not be ignored:
-On Health;
-The Hunger;
-On Thirst;
-The Desire to sleep;
-The Fear.