"Me and Rob, and just not paid, and insulted the English language," sang Willy Tokarev on the work of the taxi driver... All of us once insulted.
Not called names, not beaten in a fight, even humiliated – and it insulted. The feeling you have after the insult – first the anger, aggression. Then depression and a sense of something unspeakably vile, that you cannot forget to fix it, and if it is possible then to neglect and repair takes years, if not centuries...
It's no accident that one hundred and fifty years ago honestly believed that the insult can be washed away only by blood – or his, or the enemy. Or even someone from the family or entourage of the enemy...
With publicly insulted a man no one wanted to chat, he was denied from the house and the code of officer's honor required him to resign immediately if he did not do anything to protect his personality, his good name. The man was like contagious or dirty, unsuitable for communication.
"It is necessary not to answer", "need to forgive", "we must not stoop to the behavior of the enemy" — many of these tips, backed by strange parables teach us the "correct" behavior.
However, even at the state level is adopted the law on protection of religious feelings from insults. There are laws punishing for insulting the person. But what is easier to walk away proudly and humbly forgive. Let insult. Today insulted. Tomorrow – hit. The next day – killed. It is clear, was and is a Holy people, different sages who transcend the insults.
They are only stronger and better. But the average person at first is the release of adrenaline that increases blood pressure, affects the cardiovascular system, and then start other chemical reactions. And exactly the same as if this person was hit with a stick on the head. Or caused other physical suffering.
This proved the study of psychophysiology; man has the second signal system, which responds to it. For emotional events. And so on.
When the bullying started in the papers of the poet Pasternak, he first had a heart attack and then fell ill with lung cancer. And died in agony. Cancer developed in the period of the publication of the letters of Soviet citizens, full of righteous anger and insults. Type: "Poems Pasternak I have not read. But one day in the swamp saw a toad, which published the infamous croaking. The same croaking publishes Pasternak, slandering our country"...
I believe that envious poets of the 18th century considerably reduced the age of the great University. Try to imagine (and better not) what it feels like when I read this verse: "Though drunk throat closed, ommissi goiter, would you take with you a barrel of beer in a coffin? And as happy imagine in the future to be century, as here from many of you in affection and care?". Anger and undisguised envy and splatters from the pen of the poet Trediakovsky, and he wanted a painful insult, hit...the Poem is so-so, but the insult at the level of communal kitchens, professional.
It was such a famous actress, Isolde Izvitskaya. In the distant Soviet times, a film in which she plays the title role won the prize and invited her to Italy. Isolde Izvitskaya was very beautiful and very vulnerable, as all creative personalities. The journalists wrote in the newspaper that of the Soviet Union came "the actress with the legs of the steppe cavalryman"... Izvitskaya fell into a depression, and subsequently died from alcoholism.
Maria Callas had a unique voice, but like many Opera singers, was too full. A constant object of discussion was not her brilliant voice, unique performance, and "elephant legs". Callas afraid of this, worried, starved, and even resorted to samsarajade worms. Lost a lot of weight. But along with the weight gone and wonderful voice. Now it began to offend otherwise; he was, like, the fat woman with the angelic voice, and became thin in General without a voice! Callas was ill with depression and died of a heart attack.
It is clear that these insults were inflicted on purpose, intentionally (by the way, in the encyclopedia INTENTIONAL – the main sign of abuse
), in order to destroy the psychological defenses of man, to make him weak, and in the end is to include the program of death. That is, in order to kill. Spewing insults, the subject is too cowardly to openly attack. You can get back. In addition, the psychological insult sadists who get untold pleasure from the suffering of the victim, from her depression and pain. I want to torture. Marvel at the confusion, anger, pain.Intentional insult was described by the famous psychoanalyst peck.
To him came a woman. She was rude and defiant, in the end said that the doctor is bad, stupid, greedy, preying on other people's suffering. And threw out the money: "Here is your fee". Shocked and humiliated, the doctor heard the door slam. Trembled with resentment.
And then suddenly understood. The money was in one-dollar metal coins. That is, she deliberately exchanged the money before the visit to the doctor! Went to the reception with a purpose, is understandable for vampires to drink blood. And whatever were the doctor, what would be true and wise the words he didn't say, no matter what methodology was employed, but the result was pre-programmed.
Isolde Izvitskaya straighten your legs by using present plastic surgery – would be offended otherwise. That was the hurt that we have experienced the confusion, the frustration. Still, the end of psychological protection, the death of the individual.
Before the massacre started with mutual insults. However, now the same. The enemy is trying to humiliate, to crush, to ruffle and to deprive the right of the ability to think and react, and then to destroy in battle.
No wonder some words are called "abusive", since ancient times, they were used on the battlefield, along with his fists, slings, maces and firearms. For the suppression and destruction of personality is also used insult, which sooner or later destroy the psychological defenses and turn the person into a "loathsome creature". The constant abuse can kill a person, even if not to apply measures of physical impact.
The result will be the same as the daily beatings. Enemies write nasty things on the Internet is absolutely the same purpose – to bring you as Pasternak, to a terrible disease. You see, one talented person will be less – have to live easier. Freaks more will remain, and handsome – less.
In America today the issue of abuse very seriously, sometimes to the comic. Fat people cannot be called fat should speak and write "man, growing horizontally". And the losers should be called "people with deferred success"... So that problem is solved at the state level.I believe that the question "how to react" meets the human body.
Rapid biochemical and physiological reactions are almost independent from us. In criminal law there is the concept of "temporary insanity" that can serve as a mitigating circumstance even when the murder. The passion develops as a reaction to the intolerable insult to the human person, and does not depend on will or intention of the person.
First, there is uncontrolled anger, discharge, and then a sudden deep sleep, sometimes with loss of control over bodily functions. Simply put, the person may in a dream be described. And then fully or partially to forget about what he did with the enemy.That is even so cruel and cold-blooded science, like jurisprudence, recognizes that sometimes a person has no control over their biological reactions!
Therefore, the wise parables, and philosophical aphorisms somehow lose relevance at a time when you are insulted for real. But the offender himself is risking who knows how you will develop a reaction of your brain?
Our great poet Lermontov
was shot in a duel Martynov. That's all they know. Lermontov called the officer Martynov "monkey", joked about it and was very witty, especially with the ladies. For example, drew Martynov, celebrating the great need, leaning on the dagger (very clever, right?) providing a playful pattern biting epigram. And began to show the caricature of the ladies and the other officers.
Martynov had two choices – wise to turn your back and walk away. Lose the shoulder straps, the respect of his comrades, to become for life the subject of ridicule, to rejection of the houses where he liked to be branded a coward. And to revel in the consciousness of their own wisdom, and be comforted by reading parables and aphorisms, in his spare black time – to live on something right?
And the second way is risking their life, cause Lermontov to a duel, as befits an officer and a gentleman. And the hero of the story of Edgar Allan PoE lured his enemy into the cellar and immured in the wall. He forgave his former friend insults, jokes, heinous acts – but the insult could not forgive, because in his arms was written: "Nobody insults me with impunity".
Interestingly, the writer also makes a distinction between offense and insult. In fact, be called a fool or idiot somehow hurt, Yes. Even very disappointing. But silently spit in the face or that's how one visitor to our country is to urinate in the Eternal Fire – we are all intuitive, soul feel, is an insult. This applies to our senses, the life of our soul.Freud
was a great psychologist and a very cultured man. One day he was riding the train; the train was stuffy, and the doctor opened the window. A gentleman began to protest. Not even to protest, but to call Freud's "Jew face" and other names. To insult, in short. The calculation was correct, at first glance, the Nazis almost in power, the death camps here-here will earn, and the gentleman in pince-nez and a hat, what would he do?
To the amazement of those present, Freud broke this ferocious battle that the Lord retreated. Escaped. And somehow to me the behavior of the psychologist like. It seems more appropriate in this context. And even brave. In addition, as a psychiatrist, Freud knew – unrealized aggression turns into depression, i.e., aggression aimed at himself.
Psychosomatic illness – a consequence of such self-aggression; suppressed voltage leads to arthritis, heart attacks, cancer... People get sick more often, because become hostages to double standards.
We are told that we should forgive the offender. To swallow an insult. Did not respond. And at the same time, the image of the associated character, who spits in the face of fascist – an example to follow! In the case of abuse, you should act appropriately, in accordance with the conditions and the personality of the offender. The first reaction caused by the release of huge quantities of adrenaline, so pause. Anyway, you too are confused and disoriented, the right words will be difficult to find.
Ensure the flow of oxygen to the brain, inhale more air, breathe out.
And only then decide – to fight or to wait the right moment. Maybe the offender is acting like a fascist, if you continue the comparison. Forces you to stick out from the trenches to shoot was handy. Then you will help the time and circumstances. But to convey the information necessary and possible.
Here's how it sounds like a message, a neutral message: "what you say offends me. You're hurting me. I don't know how to react now, but I'll think about it
". This, of course, includes people, friends, sometimes, unfortunately, friends. With strangers there are different rules; it all depends on which side of the force.
My patient told me an instructive story. In adolescence insulted her friend. Once she said, "What do you all wear makeup and dress up? Beautiful all the same will not be!". She knew that she is very worried about the appearance, because they were close. At the sore spot she struck. Like, nothing terrible, a joke, in the style of Lermontov's and Trediakovsky.
And the girl has experienced a lot of emotional pain all my life I thought about those words. Grew and even a little old. For fifty years, had its own fashion salon, firm on the organization of holidays and family. And a good car, where out of pity drove in the rain and cold of the voting woman. The old woman, correct to say. And with amazement and fear learned in that old ex-girlfriend-classmate.
The long list of my troubles and misfortunes, complained to life, exuding the smell of fume. In the end the way was to stick the money, and not knowing his former friend. When my patient refused the money, a monstrous old woman threw her bill in the face. Insulted, in short, out of habit. Only no insult to the lady did not feel called out!Firmly believes that the greatest strike the offender is your health and well-being.
Even a tiny kids, we knew the magical formula: "those who call names, the so called," "we are in the airplane, and you're in the cesspit"... All returns, and deliberately evil and deadly words – especially. But it is the General rule, and there are specific, our situation.
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Now, if parsnips are not just reading "letters of workers" filled with anger and venom, and, desolate on the purchase of envelopes, send them back with a short note, you see, and would not be ill. And if not back ' that prevents us from mentally write the answer, seal it in an imaginary envelope or type on keyboard and send to the enemy? So we will respond, and that is what is necessary for our body; laws of psychology, the stimulus creates a reaction. Reaction in the form of destruction of their body we don't need.
We will act, even on the mental level. Incidentally, he sometimes works better than the level of domestic material. published
© Anna Kiryanova