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How to respond to rudeness: Meeting the offensive phrases
Each of us from time to time faced with rudeness. Someone is watching her expression from, and someone always have to listen to rude and offensive words in his address.
Do not forget so disappointing home right thing as insulting to hear in your address harsh, unfounded words. Not so hard to perform a new task, how hard it is to work in an atmosphere of scandal, where all the screaming and rude to each other.
It is known that a foreign aggression has always transformed into a self-aggression, hence the bad mood, reduced self-esteem, health, etc. How to defend against foreign aggression and correctly respond to rudeness?
To answer this question, we must understand the causes of coarseness. They can be multiple, and each of them can offer different response options. Let's start with the first reason.
Weak human psychological constitution
You've probably noticed that some people almost no one is rude, while others constantly fall under the "distribution"? Many louts possess uncommon intuition and observation. His victims are chosen on the basis of strength-weakness: "It is this sharp-tongued, with them it is better not to communicate, but this can and have fun. Surely it says something awkward to answer. "
The last category includes people with low self-esteem, too cultural and educated people with a heightened sense of guilt, that fear accidentally hurt the other, as well as people who avoid conflict and conflict situations.
How to respond?
Before you engage in battle with the offenders, we need to work on their self-esteem, self-confidence and inner strength. After strong Naham almost impossible.
«Calm» Method
In dealing with such offenders never show that you are lost. Honestly, firmly and openly express their views. Defend or Defend! Speak calmly and relaxed. Hama - cowards, they are not accustomed to the openness and tranquility. They need to get you out of yourself, so that nourished your energy. Do not give them such joy.
How to respond to rudeness: Meeting the offensive phrase
Example:
The conductor on the bus: "What you tell me 500 rubles to go? I have no deposit! Who'll drop! »
Opponent serious but calm voice: "What, sorry?»
Conductor: "No Surrender!»
Discussant: "I go away. I would be very grateful, if you will exchange the bill »
method of" Psychological Aikido »
It is to use the energy of the enemy against him the same. You must agree to the "criticism" of the enemy (sometimes it needs to be done several times), as a result of which the situation is brought to the point of absurdity, or becomes very funny. And do not forget to praise cad - it will pay off with a vengeance!
Example:
Nervous patients (NP) in the second clinic patient (EP): "What no eye? Can not you see there all! Where do you climb? The most intelligent or something? »
VP: "I do not have eyes. What you are attentive. And I, as the most intelligent, climbed out of turn. "
NP (taken aback): "I'm the same as all the ...»
VP: "Yes, you are standing, like everyone else. Not that I'm - I climb out of turn. "
Usually two or three departures from the attack is enough. Ham falls into a state of psychological grog - he was confused and disoriented. If the public had already "bent" of laughter, it will be easier. Ham soon retires and will no longer take the risk.
Method Feature - requires long practice and effort, as it requires breaking your own patterns of behavior.
Method "Humor»
When a person wants to say something bad, he is gaining air into the lungs. If it is at this moment to laugh, he relaxed. Accompany your earnest smile, you can even praise the opponent.
Example:
The secretary went to the director at the time of the meeting to bring tea. But it failed. Caught heels on the carpet, she slammed to the floor, knocking all the cups. Seeing the face turned red with rage director, secretary blurted out: "You are so stunning!" Everyone in the room laughed immediately.
«The statement" method
Sometimes a simple statement of fact, "You - ham" is enough to shut up the interlocutor. But it is possible to approach the situation and creatively.
Example:
Buyer: "Give me, please, vitamins ... forgot how called. These "- shows in the window.
Seller: "And you do not have any chance, tablets from memory?»
Buyer: "And you? From rudeness? »
Method" Sneezing »
He comes as a response to the long rough monologue.
How to respond to rudeness: Meeting the offensive phrase
If your opponent is a long and tedious descends on you pairs and can not stop, help him in this. Listen to it with a calm view until ham is not convinced that he - the owner of the situation, and you're so quiet. And then loudly and defiantly sneeze. And arisen pause, insert the phrase, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." And with an extremely polite overlooking ask, "So where are you staying?»
Other answers to the spectacular offensive phrase:
"That's all?" Or "What?"
"I had a better opinion of you»
"Rudeness is no one, and only you - the more»
"You politely respond or tell the truth?»
"I thought that you do not have the artistry to face»
"Why are you always trying to look worse than you really are?»
"I have absolutely no time to nurture your complexes»
"I'm sorry, what? You probably made a reservation? »
This is another common reason for rudeness and boorishness. Despite the fact that we live in the 21st century, many people prefer to communicate, uncharacteristic for a civilized man. These people are accustomed to constantly be rude, and other behaviors they are of little interest.
How to respond?
Method "Persevering courtesy and patience of»
main rule of communication with such boors - politeness, kindness and patience. You can not go to the provocation, charged with energy cad, to become a slave. Do not forget that snapper awaits the response of aggression, and not receiving it, falls into a trance. Courtesy and smile knock him off balance, forcing to communicate in a different way, it is unusual for the scenario. What makes you get to control the situation. Sometimes the ham is fixated on the negative, then we can talk with him as polite, but louder than usual. Unusual situations also make cad silence.
Example:
Seller: "Man, you so long to dig? Will you take it or not? »
Buyer: "Please show me yet won the cup."
Seller: "You are standing here for half an hour. I'm not your girl on an errand! »
Buyer louder than usual: "Please show me the cup."
«zanudlivym" Method
It is suitable for the forum administrators groups in social networks, etc. It is known that many community members, knowing the general rules, deliberately violate them, and then blow lichku administrators, expressing sincere disagreement with the fact that they are banned. When running out of arguments, rudeness begins.
How to respond to rudeness: Meeting the offensive phrase
Of course, it is possible to ban discontented and PM, but if you need to defend the right, try without emotion, describe in detail all the flaws of the offender. Interlocutor first time will let off steam in the hope of fun, but met with the dry bureaucratic language, bored and leave you alone.
Example:
User: "What I banned? This outrage! Then write on the page: "We create what we want, banim of whom want to!»
Administrator: "You have broken the rules of paragraph 2 of something. According to the rules of the forum, you appointed ban for 2 weeks. "
Participant: "I did not break anything, and I have normal pictures! That you are there carp, do not understand anything in the photos, so do not climb! »
Administrator: "For insulting your administration ban will be extended for another 2 weeks."
"Shocking" method (for an amateur)
To combat stereotypical rudeness suitable templates gap method, and simply put - shocking. You can pre-cook a couple of sentences, it is not irrelevant. And to shock the interlocutor, in answer to the question "Will you buy or not?" One might ask: "Do not you tell me what the show ended yesterday?"
the above-described methods are also well suited, "Psychological Aikido", "Humor" and "The statement".
Other answers to the spectacular offensive phrase:
"It is a pity that you can not reply to this originality»
"Something I ceased to want to talk with you»
"I do not like the people you are trying to portray»
"To assess the depth of your thoughts. Thanks »
"I Appreciate your joke. Thanks »
"Thank you for being so attentive to my personality»
"Not very clever, but something»
"Witty and funny" (after a move to another topic of conversation, distracted by something or someone, to get out of the room)
Fear of the abuser
you Most cads - poor people with low self-esteem and a pronounced envy. Once they realize that you have achieved in life more than they do, they immediately awakens the fear of competition. This fear they mask a wonderful ability to be rude.
How to respond?
method of "Caring for the hedgehog»
Imagine the hedgehog, who released from the fear of thorns. On the one hand, and prickly hedgehog evil, and on the other - a small and frightened. One has only to take care of it, as it will soften, and will hide the thorns pretty puff drinking milk from a saucer.
So with the abuser. Take-indulgent pitiful position. Praise him, pat on the shoulder, a friendly, subjects, let win a game or two, wish all the very nice that there is in this world. It's quite easy to do. Reassured, the abuser will stop you to be afraid, and, most likely, will understand that there is peaceful coexistence and partnership except the enemy of competition.
How to respond to rudeness: Meeting the offensive phrase
It is also good to help the methods of "Psychological Aikido" and "Serenity". Do not recommend methods: "Humor", because the envious poor understanding of jokes, "Sneezing" because the envious have increased touchiness, and it can only exacerbate the aggression.
Other answers to the spectacular offensive phrase:
"Sometimes, life is not possible. But you will succeed »
"Of course of course. Come on. Suppose you are lucky today "(it helps when someone climbs, pushing, queue)
"Rudeness is no one, and only you - the more»
"It looks like it is - is not your role. And what actually you need? »
"Thank you for being so attentive to my person»
"You want to hurt me? What's the point? »
"That's all?"
"Ignoring" Method
And a common method for all causes of rudeness - "Ignore". Indeed, sometimes silent - well, safe and ... beautiful. If you do not need anything from the abuser, you are not psychologically ready to join battle with him, or your abuser, you think, mentally ill, dangerous to life and health - use the method of "Ignore".
How to respond to rudeness: Meeting the offensive phrases wonder folk wisdom says: "The fool shouting and clever silent," "Out of the two contending wrong whoever smarter." Hama always strive to gain your attention, they also need to somehow eat your energy. And because the usual disregard for them - one of the worst punishments.
Important note: disregard should be correct. Without insulting look and sad sighs. Ham should not take your disregard for swallowing insults, failure to answer or forgiveness. No emotion should not be. The abuser for you - an empty space. You - a happy, successful man who once noticed such nonsense.