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10 insensitive phrases that make you a bad interlocutor
Stop using these phrases in conversation, otherwise there is a risk of being called not a good interlocutor, but a tactless person.
Quality communication is the basis of healthy relationships in both personal and professional life. However, some phrases, even without realizing it, can harm your relationship and make you an unpleasant interlocutor. In this article, we’ll look at ten tactless phrases to avoid in order to maintain a positive and respectful dialogue.
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1. "You always...." You never did. . . ?
Generalizations often sound accusatory and can lead to a defensive response. Instead of constructive dialogue, you risk causing conflict and worsening the relationship.
Why is it harmful?
- Making matters worse: Generalizations do not reflect reality and can be perceived as unfair accusations.
- Increases stress levels: The interlocutor feels attacked and may close.
How to avoid
Try to specify your comments. Instead of “You’re always late,” say “I feel uncomfortable when you’re late for our appointments.”
“The greatest obstacle to communication is the illusion that it has happened.” – George Bernard Shaw
2. "I don't care."
This phrase can show indifference and lack of empathy. In conversation, this creates the feeling that you are not interested in the feelings and opinions of the interlocutor.
Why is it harmful?
- Destroys trust: The interlocutor feels that his opinion is not important.
- Creates distance: It can lead to a cooling of relationships.
How to avoid
Express your feelings honestly and openly. If you really don’t know what to say, say, “I’m not sure how to react.” Can you tell me more?”
“Emotion is the way our subconscious mind transmits important information to us.” Susan David.
3. "You don't understand me."
Such statements can make the interlocutor feel misunderstood and detached.
Why is it harmful?
- Deteriorating communication: Contributes to misunderstanding and disconnection.
- Increases stress levels: It creates tension and negative emotions.
How to avoid
Try to explain your thoughts and feelings more clearly. Use self-statements, such as, “I feel misunderstood when you don’t respond to my thoughts.”
“Good communication is the key to strong relationships.” - Unknown author
4. I told you. . . ?
Allegations of this kind may sound condescending and cause guilt in the interlocutor.
Why is it harmful?
- Reduces self-esteem: The interviewer may feel like a failure.
- Compounding the conflict: Increases defensiveness.
How to avoid
Focus on solving the problem, not blaming it. Instead of “I told you to do this,” say “How can we solve this problem together?”
Respect begins with self-respect. - Unknown author
5. "You're too sensitive."
Such phrases may seem derogatory and show a lack of empathy.
Why is it harmful?
- Denies feelings: The interlocutor feels that his emotions are not important.
- Creates barriers: Motivation to close and avoid further communication.
How to avoid
Recognize the other person’s feelings. Say, for example, “I can see you’re upset.” Let's try to work it out together.” “
Empathy is the ability to see the world through the eyes of another person. - Jonathan Haidt.
6. "I'm tired of talking about it."
This phrase may show a reluctance to discuss important topics and signal closure.
Why is it harmful?
- Destroys communication: The interlocutor feels that his opinion is not important.
- Creates distance: Makes the relationship cool.
How to avoid
Express your feelings of fatigue without accusations. For example: “It’s hard for me to discuss this right now. Can we talk later?
“The best way to get what you want is to ask for it.” - Benjamin Franklin.
7. “You always talk. . . ?
Such phrases create the impression that you constantly criticize the interlocutor, which can lead to conflict.
Why is it harmful?
- Causes a defensive response: The interviewee feels that he is constantly criticized.
- Compounds the misunderstanding: Generalizations do not reflect reality and may not be true.
How to avoid
Focus on specific situations and express your feelings. Instead of “You always talk too much,” say “I find it hard to concentrate when the conversation gets too loud.”
“Communication is not only words but also nonverbal cues.” Anonymous.
8. "You don't know what you're talking about."
Such criticism can undermine the confidence of the interlocutor and create a sense of inferiority.
Why is it harmful?
- Reduces self-esteem: The interviewer may feel incompetent.
- Creates tension: Increases conflict and destroys trust.
How to avoid
Offer constructive comments and share your opinion without judgment. For example: “I’m interested to know more about your perspective on this issue. Can you explain more?
“Constructive criticism is the path to growth, not destruction.” - Steve Jobs.
9. "You're too emotional."
Such a statement can reduce trust and create a feeling that your emotions are not important.
Why is it harmful?
- Reduces empathy: They feel that their emotions are not taken seriously.
- Creates barriers: It can lead to closure and distrust.
How to avoid
Recognize the emotions of the interlocutor and express your feelings with respect. For example, “I can see that you are very worried.” Let's try to work it out together.” “
Emotions are the way our subconscious mind communicates with us. - Susan David.
Conclusion
Communication is an art that requires attention and respect for the feelings of another person. Avoiding these tactless phrases, you can become a more sensitive and understanding interlocutor, which will strengthen your relationship and make communication more harmonious. Remember that words have power, and using them correctly can greatly improve the quality of your interactions.
Words can inspire, offend, and create bridges or walls between people. - Unknown author
Be mindful of how you speak and strive for respectful and constructive dialogue. This will help you build strong and long-term relationships based on mutual understanding and trust.
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