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Feelings of guilt, resentment, forgiveness. Great article with practical advice!
Do you think that makes the experienced traveler, among other things, going on a journey? It is in any case does not take with him or anything superfluous, unnecessary and unwanted go. So we proceed. But on our way to health, wealth and happiness is unnecessary, heavy loads? I would add deadly. This - the resentment and guilt. This "sweet couple" not only an excessive burden for our shoulders, but also generators of other negative qualities, emotions and feelings, very quickly develop into failure and disease.
Without going into the causes and mechanism of the appearance of resentment and guilt, without qualifying all kinds of varieties, more important for us how to get rid of, not what it is, I'm still a bit to explain why they are so harmful to us.
There whether the new offense, to remember whether the old, in any case, it provoke negative emotions. The energy of negative emotions, of course, by its very nature is also negative, triggers the release of stress hormones in the blood - there are anxiety and fear for their bad thoughts about this orientation - self-criticism, thinking his acquittal, the prosecution offender, thinking of revenge, etc., and thoughts turn only reinforce negative emotions. A vicious circle, out of which is extremely difficult. What do you think, my beloved companion, while orders have come from your creation, what do you choose? The worst thing that you can imagine! A materialization of this bad in your life just around the corner. So think about whether to be offended.
The same happens with guilt, no matter by whom and when this feeling came to impose on us or on its own initiative. The difference in one - thoughts are concentrated most in the self-blame and to think of excuses.
In both cases there is a decrease in awareness of their own values and the emergence of various complexes. Thus, resentment and guilt literally eat vitality, failure follows failure illnesses occur one after the other, quickly turning into a chronic disease, the strength to live, just does not remain.
Grievances entrenched in us, provoke pain in the middle of the spine and contribute to the emergence of diseases such as cancer until the cancer, abscesses, arthritis, glaucoma. A sense of guilt "endows" the person with all sorts of injuries, some types of allergies, insomnia, diseases of the lymphatic system, frigidity, impotence and so on. D.
Why are people so stubbornly cling to old grudges and collect new why rush with their feelings of guilt, like a fool with written sack? Let us leave this question theorists, psychologists, we have to go, you have to act. We will not allow the negative energy sweep over us, stagnate, forming in us bad blocks, keep the accelerated pace of failures, disease and death. We realize forgive everyone and all grievances, and thus let them go away from you, and forgive yourself, and thus get rid of the guilt forever.
Oh, it is easy to say and how to do? It confirmed to us that you need to forgive, but it is very difficult. In fact, not too difficult. One teacher at my question "how to forgive," replied, "Just forgive and forget as a child, and first of all the parents and myself. Be aware, watch your thoughts, learn to not judge and to always remember that offends himself offended, and you yourself once before, chose the way of offense. If you do not take offense - the need to forgive may not occur at all ».
I know, my friend, that you once consider and accept this wisdom, I did it not immediately accepted, so bring here are a few techniques that will help to get rid of resentment and guilt, and in the future will no longer charge with this harmful load on his shoulders. < br />
Forgiveness and gratitude works wonders! That's why to get rid of resentment and guilt easiest to use them. These beneficial experiences that will help you get out of the snares of the past. It's been not even what happened a moment ago. The past does not change, so why give him the lion's share of its energy, so necessary to you here and now to live, create and enjoy it. So soon begin. We begin to live! Life is beautiful.
All of our classes, now and in the future, exercises and techniques tested and give excellent results. But you, my traveling companion, you can use any other, you think more appropriate. Who are many sources where you can find them. Ready student - teacher will come. The main action!
Setting: The following technique worked well, and do not forget to use selected.
1. If you felt that began to take offense, take a few deep breaths. Observe the situation from the perspective of an outside observer. Ask yourself: What did I do wrong? Remember: if you hurt me - I deserve it (when it does not matter), the abuser himself hurt and he's my teacher, it gives me to understand that I am or ever has done something wrong and that he is not obliged to justify my expectations, I like it. Without analyzing just mentally start to thank the offender and mentally gave him some gift.
2. If you still hurt you seriously hurt, try as quickly as possible to find a quiet place and scroll mentally, in every detail, the situation, giving it favorable for you to finish. Spend this technique as long until you feel relief. Once again thank the offender. If, nevertheless, it does not help to make any deeper techniques of forgiveness (see. Below).
3. If the feeling of guilt on the part of look at the situation that caused this feeling to step back and quietly remember what is good and what is bad - only you know. Now that the resulting negative experiences - it's just a signal that you need to change something in their understanding of and relationship to reality. And yet! No remorse, no "I'm sorry, I will not," no remorse and self-reproach. Only the acceptance of the lesson and the forgiveness of a loved one for the offense. Thank yourself for the realization of the lesson and take the responsibility to look after themselves and avoid repeating mistakes.
4. If there was a sense of guilt for a long time, or from your point of view is a good reason to do any technique of forgiveness, with an emphasis on forgiveness himself.
5. retire and lying or sitting, just to be comfortable, relax. Imagine if the believer, Christ, Buddha, Mohammed, any saint or prophet, if not a believer, any authoritative for you people (alive or already gone to the other world). You're standing close to him. Tell him everything without reserve about her resentment or guilt, feel like coming from a white color fills your body, soul, and if you wash away with these dark feelings. And you ask for forgiveness from him, at home, at the offender. You feel like they forgive you and you forgive them. Clean, let the image of a firm commitment is no longer offended by John Doe (in case of grievances). Confess to the crime ("repentance" or else "until I, I '), become self image and promise so bad never do (in the case of guilt). Do not forget to thank all the participants of this technique for forgiveness.
6. retire, turn calm, music for relaxation, sit down on a chair, relax. (This technique gives us the M. Norbekov, it can be downloaded here to see prices). Come to the image of the sad, unfortunate man. Imagine yourself in an empty theater. Twilight. The screen is clear, but you know, that now will show a film about you. The soul grows curiosity mingled with anxiety, her pain emerges. The past is made up of some trouble, frustration, humiliation and insults. Memory enumerates these grievances go deeper, to the youth. To childhood ... The screen lit up, there are moving some silhouettes, faces peering, but without the stress. Sharpen increases gradually, you begin to recognize familiar faces. These are people with whom you have met many of them to hurt you, but someone hurt you ... They came, and it means you need it. So you need to talk to every visitor. Mentally go into the screen, become a party to the action, speak to each of his attackers like this: "Yes, you've done something so that I became very ill. It was very painful, but now it's in the past, this is not as if it was not - I forgive you! .. "We ate in front of you will be the one who is no longer on this earth, tell him the same thing, sincerely and heart. Do not linger with anyone for a long time, going from one person to another, move from childhood to the present, but talk to each even those who are unfamiliar, listen to everyone, and forgive, and ask for forgiveness from those whom he could not hurt. Be gentle with everyone, especially with loved ones. They cause us the greatest pain, but sometimes do not know what they do, just like you. Forgive them all. And ask for forgiveness. If there are tears, not to hold them back ... Weep, tears are a relief to them goes all tormented and pressed, all that is now not return ever. When he reached the present day, mentally say to yourself - enough. I have been in the past, but only because he wanted it ... Now I do not what it was before, my life in the present. Everything bad that it does not have to do with me, I have no place to him. In my life there were many mistakes, resentment, bitterness and frustration, but I - I live, so I have the strength to move on, I'll never go back to her still, I'll never be the same, I'm doing everything in my power, not to be the same, I have another. Shrugged, smile, thanked all the participants for forgiveness, and do not forget yourself. Open your eyes.
7. Whenever tsarapnet resentment or guilt speaking with mentally or aloud, until it is facilitating the following words: "With love and gratitude, I forgive John Doe and ask for forgiveness for their thoughts, emotions and actions." This formula can be applied when the forgiveness of yourself and the forgiveness of the deceased man has, but in the latter case, adding at the end the words "and let go».
Practical advice:
Do techniques of forgiveness as often as possible, because we are so much zatrambovany grievances that need considerable time to get rid of them, and another, until you learn to be conscious, will be new, they are also necessary to get rid.
Do not leave resentment has not worked, so they do not have time to take root in your soul, and poisoned her.
During techniques do not analyze, do not delve into the "dirty laundry", it does not help, but only hurt. Let psychoanalysts are engaged.
For many techniques require privacy and relaxation. Choose a specific house, a permanent place to practice and ask their relatives not to interfere with you and not distracting while you're busy. I hope you have a little know how to relax. Deeper relaxation I'll teach you the next time.
Parents. A lot of grievances and causes feelings of guilt in childhood. Therefore, in any case does not inspire offending child that he is "bad, silly, zany, hands do not grow out" and the like. Explain that the act is bad, not the child. And prove it convincingly. Watch out for themselves, not to distort the child's soul!
Feelings of resentment and guilt are always side by side, so it is best to combine the forgiveness of others and himself.
In conclusion, a few quotes:
Judge not, and will not be judged; condemn not, and will not be condemned; Forgive, and you will be forgiven. ("The Gospel of Luke»)
Once a person becomes ill, it is necessary to look into his heart, who to forgive. (Louise Hay)
We must make a choice and release ourselves forgive everyone, without exception, especially ourselves. Let us do not know how to forgive, but we must want it badly. (Louise Hay)
Our resentment and anger is only for us, to our ability to forgive ourselves. (Louise Hay)
Stupid looking for mistakes in others, the smart host, and wise - all forgiving.
Learn to read the signs of destiny.
Bogomolov wearing 3D glasses to prove the existence of insects stereoscopic vision