Communication through an open heart

Recently read online a phrase here:

As stated in one of the ancient secrets of creating strong families, a woman should always communicate with her husband through the open heart. What does it mean? It means to speak without reserve, all that feel their favorite. Just... don't rush to run out and dump on her husband right now and immediately for all past years. Gradually. Dosed. Order delivered on time!
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The phrase impressed me very much, because it gives important advice for harmonious communication in a marriage. Indeed, the ability to talk to each other, the ability to listen, to understand, to hear your spouse is the key to a happy relationship. And this is the inability to listen and understand each other, I often encounter on their consultations. It is much easier to be offended, to remain silent, and then from this to make a weapon in the manipulation of feelings, actions, each other's actions. But in this happiness? This what we want from the relationship? When women complain that men do not go on contact, they do not take into account that this is a reaction to pressure. ©Jorge Bucay

I want to elaborate on the last three words from the ancient secret: Gradually. Dosed. On time.

So let's understand.

Gradually If it so happens that for a long time you withheld all what I wanted to say a spouse, and kopilos-was saved, you do not need one day to pour out on my husband all this negativity without warning. Then the best recommendations would be to make a list of all resentment, conflict, and other thought and at one point to take from the list and discuss, a maximum of two. For example, one negative issue to analyze, discuss, draw conclusions and end the conversation thanks wife for his good deeds. Ie to discuss both bad and good.

You know, for some reason we are fine and on time keep a Diary of the offense, collect it all on the speck, but the gratitude Diary we can for years to gather dust on the shelf, but in vain...

Dosed

The second point follows from the first. So I will repeat. No need to immediately and talk about everything, to explode from a buildup of resentment. I.e., as suffered, suffered... Believe me, no this will not be easier. Discussed the same topic, agreed to forgive each other and pick up time for the next conversation.

There is a very good practice "Time of revelations". What it is – you and your spouse choose one day a week/month, when consciously sit down at the negotiating table and discuss all that you have accumulated on the soul, utter all. The main thing – no offense in the middle of a conversation not to jump in with the words: "Oh, I so do not know how to cook?" etc. And to listen, to listen, to draw conclusions and to thank you for the honesty!

Time

No wonder there is a saying – "All the time". And every situation there are times when it is best to discuss. The most important thing you have to understand – no need to postpone the discussion indefinitely when already you do not really remember why and what you want to tell, or what kind of offense to tell. No need to wait for years and keep a anger, thus destroying the relationship. Most importantly, do not do it at the peak of emotion. Let a little storm inside of you dies down, and then easily invite your spouse to open dialogue and discuss all the things that I wanted.

Important: every discussion, no matter good or bad, must be one condition – you do not in order to destroy relationships, hurt each other, and in order to save and understand how to act and to act in next time!

I wish you wisdom and patience! And let communication with your spouse will pass only through the open heart! published

 

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

 

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Source: 5sfer.com/20761-obshcheniye-s-suprugom-cherez-otkrytoye-serdtse-chto-eto-znachit.html