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Why you don’t like being given advice and how to respond to it
Have you noticed that sometimes even the most innocuous advice is annoying? It seems like a person wants to help, but inside everything boils. Why do we respond so much to advice and how do we learn how to deal with it so that we can keep our relationship together and not spoil our mood?
Why is advice annoying?
Man is a complex creature. We perceive advice not just as a set of words, but as a message that has hidden meaning. Sometimes the message seems unpleasant.
1. The council sounds like criticism
When we are given advice, it may sound like we are doing something wrong. Even if a person genuinely wants to help, we may perceive it as a criticism of our decisions or actions.
2. Feelings of insolvency
Advice can remind us of our weaknesses or problems. They may cause us to feel that we are not smart, strong or competent enough to cope on our own.
3. Violation of personal boundaries
Advice that we didn’t ask for is often seen as an invasion of privacy. This can cause irritation, especially if we feel like the other person is trying to control our lives.
4. Conflict of values
Sometimes advice is based on values that don’t align with ours. In such cases, they cause internal conflict and resistance.
How do you respond to advice?
Misreaction to advice can worsen a relationship, especially if given by loved ones. Here are a few ways to deal with annoyance and respond to advice constructively.
1. Pause.
Before you react, pause. Deep inhalation and exhalation will help calm down and prevent an emotional response. This gives you time to think and choose the right reaction.
2. Express your gratitude.
Even if the advice seems unnecessary, thank the person. A phrase like “Thank you for caring” shows respect and helps keep the relationship going.
3. Focus on intention.
See for advice a sincere desire to help. Perhaps the person just wants to support you, even if their words sound inappropriate.
4. Set boundaries.
If advice is heard too often or intrudes on your personal life, gently make it clear that you value independence. For example, say, “I’ll think about it, but for now I want to decide for myself.”
5. Use humor.
Humor can mitigate the situation. If advice seems absurd or unnecessary, you can respond with a joke to avoid conflict.
How to avoid unpleasant situations with advice?
To minimize the likelihood of receiving unnecessary advice, you should think about your behavior and communication:
- Make your wishes clear: If you don't need help, talk about it directly. For example, “Thank you, but I want to find out for myself.”
- Share your successes: When people see that you are doing well, they feel less need to give advice.
- Listen and support others: Show an example of respectful communication, and people will be more attentive to your boundaries.
When can advice be useful?
Though annoying, advice can sometimes be helpful, especially if given by someone with experience or expertise in the right field. It is important to be able to distinguish between constructive recommendations and advice, dictated by the desire to criticize or show their superiority.
Here are some signs of good advice:
- It is given with respect and without imposition.
- It is based on experience or knowledge;
- It offers options, not orders you to act in a certain way.
- It is supported by examples or facts.
Conclusion
Advice isn't always a bad thing. They can be a source of new ideas, support and inspiration. But if they cause irritation, it is important to understand your feelings and learn to react with respect and calm.
“Advice is a reflection of care. Even if they don't fit, they show that someone wants your good. ?
Learn to take advice so that it does not disturb your inner balance, and use it to develop and strengthen relationships with loved ones.
