If You sent in the friend zone: a manual on the output of the black spots
About the so-called the friend zone there are several contradictory myths.
1. If you're in the friend zone, there's no way out.
2. No pure friendship, that is the friend zone, between a man and a woman can not be, the friend zone — alternate.
3. In the friend zone people (of any gender) sends all those whom he loves, but he wants to use. Seventeen million nine hundred thirty four thousand five hundred seventy three
Most of all, the theme of the friend zone is relevant to men. They are always afraid to be "just a friend" of the woman, which for them sexually attractive, it's like a symbolic castration: they would be deprived of masculinity (in its picture of the world, of course, but nevertheless) and as a eunuch can be the subject of humiliation is to talk about new lovers, to share the suffering of other men, that is, to oppose a more successful rivals. We can say that this prendisone is the forest of nightmares for many men, a Thriller where the hero finds himself in a dark place and sneaks in preparation for a meeting with monsters. I'll tell you how to get out of the godforsaken place, and then how to make a godforsaken place — a place of power, i.e. the space of initiation (growth).
At the same time, men, even those who are afraid to get in the friend zone someone they love, often happy to send in the friend zone women that don't cause them to have sexual desire, but like "people" or something useful, or just love them (men) and sorry to push, I want to keep it, but suddenly come in handy. Women can also use this post to exit the godforsaken place.
The post is not for those who are happy are in the friend zone who am also glad to be a friend. Friendship between men and women, of course, exist (as well as other stuff that do not know mitrofanushka), and "black spot" of the friend zone is only for someone who wants "more", who suffers from unrequited love and the role of other — too close and humiliating.
So, here's a small tutorial on the output of the black spots.
1. If you already let once the romantic space (had sex, even "random" or some allosexual action, such passionate kissing not on the cheek)and then expelled in the friend zone, you just sent. And the closer and longer have a romantic relationship, the more you sent, offering "just friendship".
And now attention, I will highlight in black font.
Main rule: when you send, you go.
No matter why and for what you sent, but if you said "fuck you" no matter what words go. It is not always possible to understand, whether sent, but the offer of friendship after the affair had already begun and the more actively developed, it's exactly the same. So go for it. Move a distance away and not make a single step forward. That is, no more no initiative at all. On a little initiative from this side need to respond with static, in a very great initiative little initiative.
For example: "Hey, haven't seen you, missed you, can we meet somewhere?""I don't know... maybe you can" "when?""a lot of stuff this week" "call me when you're free?""good" and no calls. That's what static on a small initiative.
Looks like a great initiative: "please, I want to see you, really want to, we're friends, right?""Yes, my friends, to see you, but this week is very busy..." "I really need, please!""well" "when?""call me tomorrow, maybe" "try" "try".
So it looks around a little initiative in response to large on the other side. Options.
At the meeting, the same thing. A small initiative – zero, greater – three times less. Many ask how long to continue such a game to not to lose a chance to reconnect.
Answer: if you sent in the friend zone of a romantic relationship, don't be afraid to lose, you already lost. Of the friend zone you should be in a straight line(!) to invite back and not just, say, well, let's do the nasty, I know you still love me and want me I have new PM is not glued and my heart is sad, I need support (of course, no one would say, most likely, but can think like this), and normally invite, voicing 1)I want a relationship 2)I regret that she ended the relationship 3)I ask you to forgive me and to come back. All this should be said straight line and at the initiative of the parties, to extort and hint is not necessary. The maximum hint is, for example, in response to the offer of sex to say "no, we're just friends, you (he) want (wanted)" — clearly. And if it sounds "Right? Well, as you wish" — that means nothing good to offer you is not going to. And bad you why?
2. If romantic relationships you have never had, although you personally would like, but you immediately identified in the friend zone, this situation is divided into two types: 1)it is proprietary 2)it is free. I will analyze only the situation when "it is free" (or he), because if it is unfree, — on the other.
The easiest way to deal with this situation, if you give a straightforward to understand what you want more than friendship. First, most likely the party so understands it. Second, while you don't let it be clearly understood, and you will waver, whether she wants it or not.
If you made an offer, and you responded with a clear denial, the manual transmission is approximately the same as that described above for the case of "sent you". May be the only break should be a little less because of proximity to another was not, so sent you not so far away. But. You offered, you refused, now you need to behave so that the initiative was mainly on the side of the black because you are white, your move is already made.
But this, of course, has its disadvantages. Things can quickly end. So if you exclusively highly expensive, you are willing to spend time on his conquest, can do straightforward suggestions immediately, but first to show all their dignity out of the friend zone.
Decide what you are going to hit? You have a great apartment to invite guests. You can sing, well sing. To draw draw already. And so on. Get creative with the best hand or with all your best parties, and then still make the offer to move from the friend zone into a relationship. Not necessarily verbal, you can get to meet the sunset (or a drink) and try to hug, that is – as you prefer. But if you are refused non-linear, for example, in response to an attempt to embrace said "no, not now" and you're wondering what that means, tell me all about your feelings directly.
Godforsaken place of the friend zone becomes when you are stuck in it for the long haul, walk in a circle, you can't be interested in anyone else, because waiting for the sea weather. The swamp and the constant anxiety that you suddenly come "as a friend" will tell in detail, what a great guy slept yesterday, your "friend". The more time you spend in the swamp in a state of anxiety, the less energy you have, the lower your self-esteem, and therefore the chance to get out of the godforsaken place – less.
Therefore it is better to act fast, not wait for years when you get out, quickly show their best side (as much as possible, partially) and offer to leave the friend zone.
If you said something murky like "you're beautiful, I like you so much, but I can only friendship now, sorry" to accept this answer as a "go to hell, if you want, let's just chat". Okay, it is possible to communicate, but under one condition. The initiative is this friendship will be on the other side. It will persuade together, she would say she wants you. In this format, your chances to please her very large (by law). And if it's not, and he is too.
But to the person who pushed you in the friend zone, began to drive around you dance, you have to be really interest him as a friend and he should know exactly what you're in love with him. In this case, he may feel that it should, with a willingness to initiate a "friendly meeting", and then, suddenly, gradually straighten the imbalance and unwittingly fall in love with you. It happens often. In General, almost always, if you really interest him and behaving properly.
In that case, if you do it uninteresting, and "friendship" was just an excuse, it will not be the initiator of the meetings. But here you have to accept and thank yourself for not perished in the death trap and got out, even in the desert yet.
Don't hesitate if you were offered friendship and did not take the initiative for this friendship means anything to you does not Shine. Even friendship.
If you were offered friendship, and you call and call to go here and there, you get stuck in the death trap deeper. And swim will be difficult.
But if you don't know, offered to you only friendship or agree to more than that because you did not ask and does not find out, we first need to find out (!). You have to be brave, otherwise confusion will pile up another mess, and understand at least something you will be very hard.
Not only to get out of the godforsaken place, but also to make it a place of power — on. published