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Betrayal is an illusion
Did you know that to believe in something that can betray us is an illusion? Most likely, many of you will not agree with this statement for many reasons. For example, many believe that cheating is a dear person or not to return debts to friends is betrayal. But you can perceive this situation differently.
Consider the following:"Sometimes we think that someone took advantage of our trust: it means that we expect that people will do something that he couldn't do, and we have about him were too many expectations."
If you think that such a definition is difficult to perceive, agree that it at least brings less suffering than the charge of another person's betrayal. Your convictions and beliefs transform your feelings into emotions that brings suffering. Your ego is fueling beliefs and prevents you from hearing your heart.
There are differences between the concepts of "feelings" and "emotions". Feelings come up spontaneously, immediately. They can be positive or negative. Give an example of a girl who just heard a compliment from his father. It feels meaningful, joyful, loved. This positive feeling. However, this can arouse her emotions, and these emotions are harmful. Because emotion is an internal excitement, caused by the accusations of someone out of fear for himself.
This pleasant feeling can be replaced by emotions, if you take the top ego. For example, a girl might start to think that it would be nice if her mother from time to time praised her as well, blaming her mother that she was ungrateful, cold, unjust. And the more she will accuse, the more emotions she will experience, experiencing anger, frustration, rejection, and perhaps even aggression.
Also, you can experience the feeling of fear that seems negative. But if you just recognize the fear, not blaming yourself or other people, our feeling will turn into emotions and we allow ourselves to be an ordinary person who has the right to experience fears. The feeling is always temporary, but emotions can last a long time.
Very easy to distort the facts. This happens when you feel a sense of betrayal. In fact, only you can decide, betrayed you, based on your experience and your beliefs.
A few years ago, I experienced a sense of betrayal with one of his sons. Knowing what he wanted in the evenings to earn some money home to pay bills on time, I asked him to translate one of my books into English. He accepted my offer and agreed to deadlines: everything has to be ready in three months. I regularly inquired about the progress of the work, and each time he assured me that everything is going according to plan. Three months later he said he needed more time to finish the job. And then I asked him to send me what he had already by that time to do. But what he sent me, it was impossible to read. My son told me that, most likely, the file had some kind of problem, and it is sure to fix it.
Since I am very busy and often do not exist in the country, I forgot about this work. And after six months, traveling to France, I suddenly remembered that nothing from the son and not received. And then I called my daughter, who runs a school "Listen to your body" and asked her if there was anything she wouldn't know. And when she told me that he translated only a small excerpt from the book, I'm pissed at him. I accused him that he took advantage of my trust, when I agreed to pay him an advance for the translation work. I accused him of being a liar, irresponsible, and ungrateful: why he makes me go through all of this, after the confidence which he had rendered to me? I thought that he absolutely loves me, if he betrayed me (fear for self). In short, I experienced many different emotions.
The next day I called him to find out why he did this to me, and I accused him that he made me to experience so many negative emotions. When our wound is open and sore, we completely forget about responsibility, love, and allow our ego to guide us. In my case, active was my trauma of betrayal.
He explained to me that in the beginning he was sure that I will manage to cope, translating only a few pages a day, but he had not time to do it after work. And then he postponed the job until the day, until I finally realized that can't pay back lost time. When I asked why he didn't tell me earlier so I could find another person for the job, he replied me that he often thought about it, but never found the courage.
I felt that he was so sad and so disappointed in himself, and immediately realized that to make this work was really beyond his power, and to admit that he is unable to do so. He was experiencing emotions, being convinced that he is betraying me, and I experienced emotions, knowing that he betrayed me. In fact, I had TOO high EXPECTATIONS FROM HIM, AND HE ALSO asked TOO MUCH of MYSELF. Neither I nor he did not bother to see how feasible it was my job for him.
When we feel that we were betrayed, it is often the betrayal comes from the person too important to us. And as the other person loves us, he feels our expectations and trying to satisfy them. Why do we have so many expectations? Because we believe that the satisfaction of our expectations is proof of love of another person. But love with action is impossible to prove. To love is to just accept yourself and accept other person such what he is.
I ended the conversation with his son, telling him that I can't wait when my trauma of betrayal be healed, never to attract a similar situation. We were even able to laugh together with this situation and, most importantly, to rid us of destructive emotions.published
Author: Liz Burbo
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind - together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: listentoyourbody-kiev.com/articles/206-lise-bourbeau-betrayal
Consider the following:"Sometimes we think that someone took advantage of our trust: it means that we expect that people will do something that he couldn't do, and we have about him were too many expectations."
If you think that such a definition is difficult to perceive, agree that it at least brings less suffering than the charge of another person's betrayal. Your convictions and beliefs transform your feelings into emotions that brings suffering. Your ego is fueling beliefs and prevents you from hearing your heart.
There are differences between the concepts of "feelings" and "emotions". Feelings come up spontaneously, immediately. They can be positive or negative. Give an example of a girl who just heard a compliment from his father. It feels meaningful, joyful, loved. This positive feeling. However, this can arouse her emotions, and these emotions are harmful. Because emotion is an internal excitement, caused by the accusations of someone out of fear for himself.
This pleasant feeling can be replaced by emotions, if you take the top ego. For example, a girl might start to think that it would be nice if her mother from time to time praised her as well, blaming her mother that she was ungrateful, cold, unjust. And the more she will accuse, the more emotions she will experience, experiencing anger, frustration, rejection, and perhaps even aggression.
Also, you can experience the feeling of fear that seems negative. But if you just recognize the fear, not blaming yourself or other people, our feeling will turn into emotions and we allow ourselves to be an ordinary person who has the right to experience fears. The feeling is always temporary, but emotions can last a long time.
Very easy to distort the facts. This happens when you feel a sense of betrayal. In fact, only you can decide, betrayed you, based on your experience and your beliefs.
A few years ago, I experienced a sense of betrayal with one of his sons. Knowing what he wanted in the evenings to earn some money home to pay bills on time, I asked him to translate one of my books into English. He accepted my offer and agreed to deadlines: everything has to be ready in three months. I regularly inquired about the progress of the work, and each time he assured me that everything is going according to plan. Three months later he said he needed more time to finish the job. And then I asked him to send me what he had already by that time to do. But what he sent me, it was impossible to read. My son told me that, most likely, the file had some kind of problem, and it is sure to fix it.
Since I am very busy and often do not exist in the country, I forgot about this work. And after six months, traveling to France, I suddenly remembered that nothing from the son and not received. And then I called my daughter, who runs a school "Listen to your body" and asked her if there was anything she wouldn't know. And when she told me that he translated only a small excerpt from the book, I'm pissed at him. I accused him that he took advantage of my trust, when I agreed to pay him an advance for the translation work. I accused him of being a liar, irresponsible, and ungrateful: why he makes me go through all of this, after the confidence which he had rendered to me? I thought that he absolutely loves me, if he betrayed me (fear for self). In short, I experienced many different emotions.
The next day I called him to find out why he did this to me, and I accused him that he made me to experience so many negative emotions. When our wound is open and sore, we completely forget about responsibility, love, and allow our ego to guide us. In my case, active was my trauma of betrayal.
He explained to me that in the beginning he was sure that I will manage to cope, translating only a few pages a day, but he had not time to do it after work. And then he postponed the job until the day, until I finally realized that can't pay back lost time. When I asked why he didn't tell me earlier so I could find another person for the job, he replied me that he often thought about it, but never found the courage.
I felt that he was so sad and so disappointed in himself, and immediately realized that to make this work was really beyond his power, and to admit that he is unable to do so. He was experiencing emotions, being convinced that he is betraying me, and I experienced emotions, knowing that he betrayed me. In fact, I had TOO high EXPECTATIONS FROM HIM, AND HE ALSO asked TOO MUCH of MYSELF. Neither I nor he did not bother to see how feasible it was my job for him.
When we feel that we were betrayed, it is often the betrayal comes from the person too important to us. And as the other person loves us, he feels our expectations and trying to satisfy them. Why do we have so many expectations? Because we believe that the satisfaction of our expectations is proof of love of another person. But love with action is impossible to prove. To love is to just accept yourself and accept other person such what he is.
I ended the conversation with his son, telling him that I can't wait when my trauma of betrayal be healed, never to attract a similar situation. We were even able to laugh together with this situation and, most importantly, to rid us of destructive emotions.published
Author: Liz Burbo
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind - together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: listentoyourbody-kiev.com/articles/206-lise-bourbeau-betrayal
