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Article cycle: Liz Bourbeau. Five injuries. Trauma Abandoned
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Description: This article discusses the “Trauma of Abandonment” by the concept of Liz Bourbeau. The presentation combines a scientific approach and accessibility to a wide audience, revealing the mechanisms of formation and manifestation of this trauma. Analysis approaches, self-help strategies, and recommendations complement a deep understanding of the topic.
Introduction
The concept of “The Trauma of Abandonment” was first widely familiarized to the audience thanks to the theoretical and practical works of Liz Bourbeau. She identified five key traumas that can occur from early childhood and have a profound impact on a person’s life. The trauma of Abandonment is one of the most important and common, because the fear of being alone and without support permeates many aspects of the human psyche.
The popular science approach to this topic is important because, although the issue of psychological trauma is becoming more and more discussed, most people still have difficulty understanding and classifying emotional wounds. Psychosomatics experts say that the trauma of abandonment can affect the development of chronic stressful states, reduced self-esteem and complex behavior patterns in interpersonal relationships. Within the framework of this article, we will analyze how an abandonment injury is formed, what “masks” it can push a person to wear, and what practical advice experts give to mitigate its consequences.
Main part
1. Historical and theoretical context
Liz Bourbeau, author of several books on self-discovery and personal growth, has revealed her theory of the five traumas of childhood, based on personal experiences, counseling and observations of thousands of people. Her approach does not claim to be strictly academically validated, but it resonates deeply with the practice of many psychologists and coaches around the world. The trauma of abandonment, according to the concept of Bourbo, is formed when a child has a persistent feeling that loved ones - especially parents - do not give him enough attention, love or care. This can be due to both the real absence of the parent and the emotional inaccessibility of the mother or father.
Consider the key hypothesis: the child, feeling abandoned, creates within himself the attitude “I am not needed” or “I must cope myself”. Over time, such an internal attitude can lead to the formation of patterns of fear of loneliness, the search for unconditional recognition and constant underlying distrust of the world. Such conditions are extremely energetically costly and can cause physiological reactions associated with stress and stress.
2. Mechanisms of formation of trauma of abandonment
To better understand why the trauma of abandonment is fixed in the psyche, it is worth paying attention to several key factors:
3. Manifestations of trauma of abandonment in adulthood
Feeling “abandoned” can affect many aspects of life. Here are some typical behavior scenarios typical of people with this trauma:
Interestingly, in some cases, the trauma of abandonment can also manifest itself in the opposite way, when a person, fearing being rejected first, himself provokes conflicts or deliberate distancing. This is unconscious behavior designed to “control” the situation: “Leave first before they leave me.”
4. The Mask of "The Dependent"
In Liz Bourbeau’s concept, each injury has a corresponding “mask” or pattern of behavior that a person chooses for self-defense. In case of abandonment injury, the main “mask” is considered to be the Dependent. The person wearing this mask shows the following features:
5. Consequences and psychosomatic risks
Scientific studies (see Wikipedia) indicate that psychological trauma, especially associated with loneliness, can affect not only the psyche, but also the physical state of a person. Chronic anxiety can lead to headaches, digestive problems and even malfunctions in the cardiovascular system.
From the point of view of psychosomatic medicine, prolonged stay in a state of fear or stress provokes increased production of the hormones cortisol and adrenaline. This depletes the body, reduces immunity and can cause the development of various diseases, from colds to more serious ailments. Thus, the “trauma of abandonment” is not only an emotional problem, but also a potential threat to overall health.
6. Practical strategies for dealing with trauma
To cope with the consequences of abandonment trauma, experts recommend an integrated approach:
It is important to note that working with an abandoned injury is a long process, not always accompanied by quick results. However, systematic, professional support and a sincere desire for change can lead to a significant improvement in the quality of life.
7. Recommendations for loved ones and others
If you have someone around you who shows signs of anxiety or fear of abandonment, be alert to the following:
Conclusion
The trauma of abandonment, described by Liz Bourbeau, is a complex psychological phenomenon that affects the deepest layers of the emotional sphere. Its influence can affect behavior, self-esteem, choice of partners and even the physical well-being of a person. However, understanding the mechanisms of the formation and manifestation of this trauma is a first and important step towards learning to live more fully, without the constant fear of loneliness or rejection.
Paths to healing may vary depending on the individual, but it is helpful to seek psychotherapy, maintain a positive environment, and develop awareness. The information in this article will give you a deeper understanding of the nature of the Trauma of Abandonment and, perhaps, will tell you how to act to harmonize your personal life.
Glossary
Description: This article discusses the “Trauma of Abandonment” by the concept of Liz Bourbeau. The presentation combines a scientific approach and accessibility to a wide audience, revealing the mechanisms of formation and manifestation of this trauma. Analysis approaches, self-help strategies, and recommendations complement a deep understanding of the topic.
Introduction
The concept of “The Trauma of Abandonment” was first widely familiarized to the audience thanks to the theoretical and practical works of Liz Bourbeau. She identified five key traumas that can occur from early childhood and have a profound impact on a person’s life. The trauma of Abandonment is one of the most important and common, because the fear of being alone and without support permeates many aspects of the human psyche.
The popular science approach to this topic is important because, although the issue of psychological trauma is becoming more and more discussed, most people still have difficulty understanding and classifying emotional wounds. Psychosomatics experts say that the trauma of abandonment can affect the development of chronic stressful states, reduced self-esteem and complex behavior patterns in interpersonal relationships. Within the framework of this article, we will analyze how an abandonment injury is formed, what “masks” it can push a person to wear, and what practical advice experts give to mitigate its consequences.
Main part
1. Historical and theoretical context
Liz Bourbeau, author of several books on self-discovery and personal growth, has revealed her theory of the five traumas of childhood, based on personal experiences, counseling and observations of thousands of people. Her approach does not claim to be strictly academically validated, but it resonates deeply with the practice of many psychologists and coaches around the world. The trauma of abandonment, according to the concept of Bourbo, is formed when a child has a persistent feeling that loved ones - especially parents - do not give him enough attention, love or care. This can be due to both the real absence of the parent and the emotional inaccessibility of the mother or father.
Consider the key hypothesis: the child, feeling abandoned, creates within himself the attitude “I am not needed” or “I must cope myself”. Over time, such an internal attitude can lead to the formation of patterns of fear of loneliness, the search for unconditional recognition and constant underlying distrust of the world. Such conditions are extremely energetically costly and can cause physiological reactions associated with stress and stress.
2. Mechanisms of formation of trauma of abandonment
To better understand why the trauma of abandonment is fixed in the psyche, it is worth paying attention to several key factors:
- Insufficient emotional security: If a child does not feel safe around their parents, they are forced to build their own defense mechanisms, which in adulthood can manifest as an inability to trust people.
- Perfectionism and Guilt: Children who feel abandoned often feel guilty for not “deserving” the love of their parents and try to compensate for this by overachieving or controlling their feelings.
- Fear of losing loved ones: Since early experience suggested that people could leave at any moment, an adult with this trauma is prone to jealousy, increased anxiety and panic at signs of distancing a partner or friends.
3. Manifestations of trauma of abandonment in adulthood
Feeling “abandoned” can affect many aspects of life. Here are some typical behavior scenarios typical of people with this trauma:
- Obsessive attention-seeking: Whether in a romantic relationship, friendship, or work group, a person is in constant need of confirmation of their importance.
- Difficulties in separation: Fear of being alone can lead to unhealthy attachment to parents, a partner, or a loved one.
- Difficulties with self-esteem: A person often doubts whether he is worthy of love and recognition, which leads to complexes and self-criticism.
- Idealization: In order to compensate for the inner fear, the person can “elevate” the partner or friends, assigning them qualities that will help them feel secure. However, this illusion is often dispelled, leaving only disappointment.
Interestingly, in some cases, the trauma of abandonment can also manifest itself in the opposite way, when a person, fearing being rejected first, himself provokes conflicts or deliberate distancing. This is unconscious behavior designed to “control” the situation: “Leave first before they leave me.”
4. The Mask of "The Dependent"
In Liz Bourbeau’s concept, each injury has a corresponding “mask” or pattern of behavior that a person chooses for self-defense. In case of abandonment injury, the main “mask” is considered to be the Dependent. The person wearing this mask shows the following features:
- Sacrifice: The constant desire to take the position of someone who needs help for the sake of attention and support from the outside.
- Softness and acquiescence: In personal relationships, such a person often adjusts to the desires of the partner, hoping to avoid the moment when he can leave.
- Uncertainty in their own decisions: in any choice, a person seeks approval from outside, because they are afraid to take responsibility for themselves.
5. Consequences and psychosomatic risks
Scientific studies (see Wikipedia) indicate that psychological trauma, especially associated with loneliness, can affect not only the psyche, but also the physical state of a person. Chronic anxiety can lead to headaches, digestive problems and even malfunctions in the cardiovascular system.
From the point of view of psychosomatic medicine, prolonged stay in a state of fear or stress provokes increased production of the hormones cortisol and adrenaline. This depletes the body, reduces immunity and can cause the development of various diseases, from colds to more serious ailments. Thus, the “trauma of abandonment” is not only an emotional problem, but also a potential threat to overall health.
6. Practical strategies for dealing with trauma
To cope with the consequences of abandonment trauma, experts recommend an integrated approach:
- Psychotherapy: Cognitive behavioral therapy or gestalt practices can help you understand the origins of fear and develop new, healthier relationship strategies.
- Developing awareness skills: Meditation, breathing exercises, and yoga reduce overall anxiety levels and teach you to notice and accept your own feelings without panic response.
- Strengthening self-esteem: Working with self-esteem and personal boundaries helps a person learn to value themselves without being constantly dependent on someone else’s recognition.
- Social support: expanding the circle of communication, participation in group classes or psychotherapeutic groups allows you to feel belonging and mutual understanding.
- Self-education: Reading books on psychology, attending seminars and trainings - all this contributes to a better understanding of your own emotional reactions.
It is important to note that working with an abandoned injury is a long process, not always accompanied by quick results. However, systematic, professional support and a sincere desire for change can lead to a significant improvement in the quality of life.
7. Recommendations for loved ones and others
If you have someone around you who shows signs of anxiety or fear of abandonment, be alert to the following:
- Claim its value: Remind them that they are important and loved, but do so sincerely and without pressure.
- Help set the boundaries: Support personal growth initiatives, but don’t let your concern increase your dependency.
- Avoid sharp breaks in communication: If you feel the need to distance yourself, try to do so carefully, identifying the reasons and offering alternative formats of interaction.
Conclusion
The trauma of abandonment, described by Liz Bourbeau, is a complex psychological phenomenon that affects the deepest layers of the emotional sphere. Its influence can affect behavior, self-esteem, choice of partners and even the physical well-being of a person. However, understanding the mechanisms of the formation and manifestation of this trauma is a first and important step towards learning to live more fully, without the constant fear of loneliness or rejection.
Paths to healing may vary depending on the individual, but it is helpful to seek psychotherapy, maintain a positive environment, and develop awareness. The information in this article will give you a deeper understanding of the nature of the Trauma of Abandonment and, perhaps, will tell you how to act to harmonize your personal life.
Glossary
- Psychosomaticsdirection in medicine and psychology, studying the influence of psychological factors on the occurrence and course of bodily diseases.
- Chronic stressA prolonged state of stress in which the body lacks the resources to fully recover.
- Mask The protective role or pattern of behavior that a person adopts to hide or compensate for their inner wound.
- Cognitive behavioral therapyA type of psychotherapeutic care based on the analysis and correction of thought patterns and behavior.
- Gestalt practicesThe direction of psychotherapy, which focuses on the awareness of the current moment and the completeness of a person’s contact with himself.
- SeparationThe process of psychological separation from the parental figure, becoming an autonomous, independent personality.
- PerfectionismThe tendency to strive for the perfect result and excessive criticality to their own mistakes.
- projectionA psychological mechanism in which a person attributes their own feelings and thoughts to another person or external circumstances.
Article cycle: Liz Bourbeau. Five injuries. Trauma of Rejection
Article cycle: Liz Bourbeau. Five injuries. Trauma of Humiliation