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Article cycle: Liz Bourbeau. Five injuries. Trauma of Humiliation
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Description: This article focuses on The Trauma of Humiliation, one of the five key psychological traumas of Liz Bourbeau. The mechanisms of its formation and the main manifestations in adulthood are considered, and recommendations are given that will help to understand and overcome destructive behavior patterns. The approach is combined with popular science, which makes the article interesting for a wide range of readers.
Introduction
When it comes to emotional trauma, Liz Bourbeau’s theory resonates with a wider audience. It offers a model of five psychological wounds that form primarily in childhood and have a noticeable impact on our behavior, self-esteem and relationships in adulthood. One of the most difficult experiences is the “trauma of humiliation”. When faced with such a wound, a person develops a persistent feeling that he is “bad”, “wrong” or “not worthy of respect”. This can leave a deep imprint on life and create negative patterns in different areas.
In this article, we will look at how the trauma of humiliation manifests itself from the point of view of psychology and observations collected in the works of Liz Bourbeau, and also touch on approaches to research and overcome this wound. Research in the field of psychosomatics confirms that internal conflicts caused by a sense of humiliation can affect not only the mental, but also the physical state of a person - on the immune system, cardiovascular system and general level of stress. That is why it is important not to ignore painful emotions, but to strive for their awareness and transformation.
Main part
1. Theoretical foundations and view of Liz Bourbeau
Liz Bourbeau, who is the author of the concept of “Five traumas that prevent you from being yourself”, defines the trauma of humiliation as a deep-rooted complex in which a child experiences feelings of shame and inferiority due to the behavior or statements of significant adults. When parents judge, punish, or criticize a child in a humiliating way, there is a feeling that “my personality is worthless” or “I am not respected or accepted as I am.”
It is worth emphasizing that this trauma can develop in other circumstances, for example, if the child is constantly compared with others and feels less talented, less deserving of love. In the future, such attitudes grow into self-esteem and prevent a person from freely expressing feelings, defending personal boundaries and building harmonious relationships.
A characteristic feature of the trauma of humiliation is that its "carrier" often develops protective behavior, which on the one hand is aimed at avoiding further humiliation, and on the other - can lead to self-restraint and isolation.
2. Formation mechanisms and main features
To better understand how the trauma of humiliation is formed, it is useful to consider several key mechanisms:
As adults, people with severe trauma of humiliation may show the following signs:
3. Mask "Masochist" by the concept of Liz Bourbo
Each of the five injuries corresponds to a so-called “mask” – a set of behavioral strategies that help a person hide or compensate for internal pain. In the trauma of humiliation, Bourbo singles out "Masochist." The person who chooses this mask subconsciously forces himself to go through new humiliations - in a relationship or professional activity, justifying this by "the need to be patient" or "the compulsion of fate."
Self-esteem “I am bad” can be expressed in the following aspects:
It is worth noting that the purpose of such a “mask” is to protect the psyche from more severe suffering. However, when one is aware of its destructive nature, one can consciously seek to overcome these patterns through therapy and self-knowledge.
4. Impact on health and interpersonal relationships
The long-standing trauma of humiliation often affects health. As mentioned in a number of scientific papers and references on Wikipedia, internal conflicts and Samoyedism contribute to the increased production of stress hormones - cortisol, adrenaline, which, if excessive, deplete the body and reduce immunity. Insufficient self-esteem causes constant nervous tension, provoking chronic fatigue and sleep disorders. Thus, the trauma of humiliation can become a risk factor for a whole range of psychosomatic diseases.
In the interpersonal sphere, a person with the trauma of humiliation either chooses the role of “invisibility”, avoiding conflicts and attention, or, conversely, builds “walls” of perfectionism and harsh criticism towards others. Both variants of behavior prevent the formation of healthy relationships: in the first case, a person “dissolves” in the needs of others, in the second – demonstrates excessive severity and suspicion. In both scenarios, it is difficult to achieve open, sincere communication based on mutual respect.
5. Practices and recommendations for overcoming trauma
Fortunately, realizing that the trauma of humiliation is affecting your life can already be considered an important step toward healing. Psychologists and coaches offer a number of strategies to help develop a healthier attitude towards themselves and others:
6. The role of the environment
If there is a person in your environment who is characterized by signs of “masochist masks” or feelings of constant humiliation, it is very important to show delicacy and understanding. Try to point out that his emotional vulnerability is related to a long-standing experience, not a current desire to attract attention. Subtle support does not mean pity, but the ability to listen, respect feelings and, if necessary, gently direct professional help.
In addition, it is necessary to avoid aggressive forms of statements and poking fun at vulnerable moments of the personality. For a person with the trauma of humiliation, any hint of a joke can be taken as a serious confirmation of their “inability” or “worthlessness”, which will only aggravate the internal conflict. Therefore, warm, friendly and respectful communication often serves as the catalyst that triggers positive changes in the psyche.
Conclusion
The trauma of humiliation, according to Liz Bourbeau, is one of the most painful psychological wounds. Its origins lie in deep childhood experiences of shame, comparison, and suppression, and its consequences lie in low self-esteem, difficulty building healthy boundaries, and self-deprecation. Awareness of this trauma makes it possible to begin the path to liberation from destructive attitudes. Let this process not be instantaneous, but systematic work on yourself, support of loved ones and professional psychotherapeutic tools allow you to regain self-esteem and improve the quality of life in general.
Understanding their right to respect and benevolence, a person acquires the strength to share their uniqueness with the world around them and build relationships based on mutual recognition rather than constant fear of humiliation.
Glossary
Description: This article focuses on The Trauma of Humiliation, one of the five key psychological traumas of Liz Bourbeau. The mechanisms of its formation and the main manifestations in adulthood are considered, and recommendations are given that will help to understand and overcome destructive behavior patterns. The approach is combined with popular science, which makes the article interesting for a wide range of readers.
Introduction
When it comes to emotional trauma, Liz Bourbeau’s theory resonates with a wider audience. It offers a model of five psychological wounds that form primarily in childhood and have a noticeable impact on our behavior, self-esteem and relationships in adulthood. One of the most difficult experiences is the “trauma of humiliation”. When faced with such a wound, a person develops a persistent feeling that he is “bad”, “wrong” or “not worthy of respect”. This can leave a deep imprint on life and create negative patterns in different areas.
In this article, we will look at how the trauma of humiliation manifests itself from the point of view of psychology and observations collected in the works of Liz Bourbeau, and also touch on approaches to research and overcome this wound. Research in the field of psychosomatics confirms that internal conflicts caused by a sense of humiliation can affect not only the mental, but also the physical state of a person - on the immune system, cardiovascular system and general level of stress. That is why it is important not to ignore painful emotions, but to strive for their awareness and transformation.
Main part
1. Theoretical foundations and view of Liz Bourbeau
Liz Bourbeau, who is the author of the concept of “Five traumas that prevent you from being yourself”, defines the trauma of humiliation as a deep-rooted complex in which a child experiences feelings of shame and inferiority due to the behavior or statements of significant adults. When parents judge, punish, or criticize a child in a humiliating way, there is a feeling that “my personality is worthless” or “I am not respected or accepted as I am.”
It is worth emphasizing that this trauma can develop in other circumstances, for example, if the child is constantly compared with others and feels less talented, less deserving of love. In the future, such attitudes grow into self-esteem and prevent a person from freely expressing feelings, defending personal boundaries and building harmonious relationships.
A characteristic feature of the trauma of humiliation is that its "carrier" often develops protective behavior, which on the one hand is aimed at avoiding further humiliation, and on the other - can lead to self-restraint and isolation.
2. Formation mechanisms and main features
To better understand how the trauma of humiliation is formed, it is useful to consider several key mechanisms:
- Emotional degradation. Parents or other authority figures may joke about a child’s abilities or criticize them in the presence of outsiders. This causes the child to lose confidence.
- Overprotection. The opposite is the case when parents, trying to “protect” a child from any risks, almost do not give him freedom. There is a paradox: excessive guardianship can inspire the thought “I can not cope on my own” and thereby provokes a feeling of inferiority.
- Comparison and competition. Constant comparisons with other children in the family or team, the requirements of “be better” give rise to self-flagellation if they do not meet the imposed standards. Defeats are seen as evidence of their own “damage.”
As adults, people with severe trauma of humiliation may show the following signs:
- Dependence on someone else's opinion. It can be difficult for them to make decisions on their own, they prefer to “keep their head down” so as not to become the target of ridicule or criticism.
- The desire to constantly monitor the situation. This can manifest as a tendency toward perfectionism or total surveillance of loved ones, so that no one goes beyond the “permissible” (which is paradoxically associated with the desire to avoid shame).
- Too much self-criticism. The internal dialogue is colored with the phrases “I’m not worth anything”, “Something is wrong with me”, “I constantly set everyone up”.
3. Mask "Masochist" by the concept of Liz Bourbo
Each of the five injuries corresponds to a so-called “mask” – a set of behavioral strategies that help a person hide or compensate for internal pain. In the trauma of humiliation, Bourbo singles out "Masochist." The person who chooses this mask subconsciously forces himself to go through new humiliations - in a relationship or professional activity, justifying this by "the need to be patient" or "the compulsion of fate."
Self-esteem “I am bad” can be expressed in the following aspects:
- Perpetual understatement of merit. Even if a person achieves success, he tries to play it down, believing that he “does not deserve” praise.
- Altruism to self-sacrifice. To relieve feelings of guilt for their “inferiority”, people with this trauma can help others almost without fail, harming their own interests.
- Concealed or open self-punishment. The desire to “redeem” their imaginary guilt can lead to actions that bring emotional or physical pain to the person.
It is worth noting that the purpose of such a “mask” is to protect the psyche from more severe suffering. However, when one is aware of its destructive nature, one can consciously seek to overcome these patterns through therapy and self-knowledge.
4. Impact on health and interpersonal relationships
The long-standing trauma of humiliation often affects health. As mentioned in a number of scientific papers and references on Wikipedia, internal conflicts and Samoyedism contribute to the increased production of stress hormones - cortisol, adrenaline, which, if excessive, deplete the body and reduce immunity. Insufficient self-esteem causes constant nervous tension, provoking chronic fatigue and sleep disorders. Thus, the trauma of humiliation can become a risk factor for a whole range of psychosomatic diseases.
In the interpersonal sphere, a person with the trauma of humiliation either chooses the role of “invisibility”, avoiding conflicts and attention, or, conversely, builds “walls” of perfectionism and harsh criticism towards others. Both variants of behavior prevent the formation of healthy relationships: in the first case, a person “dissolves” in the needs of others, in the second – demonstrates excessive severity and suspicion. In both scenarios, it is difficult to achieve open, sincere communication based on mutual respect.
5. Practices and recommendations for overcoming trauma
Fortunately, realizing that the trauma of humiliation is affecting your life can already be considered an important step toward healing. Psychologists and coaches offer a number of strategies to help develop a healthier attitude towards themselves and others:
- Psychotherapeutic methods. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, the Gestalt approach, as well as working with a specialist who owns body-oriented techniques, can “unpack” deep beliefs about their own inferiority and help replace them with more adequate ones.
- Mindfulness practice. Regular meditation, yoga and breathing exercises help reduce stress levels and support self-observation without judgment. This teaches you to notice uncomfortable feelings, without sinking into Samoyedism.
- Working with self-esteem. Creating a list of personal achievements, accepting compliments (praise) without minimizing your own merits, keeping a diary of successes - all this helps to strengthen a positive attitude towards yourself.
- Setting personal boundaries. The trauma of humiliation is often associated with the fear of being worse than others. Awareness of your limits and the ability to gently but confidently say “no” allow a person to feel more secure and self-worth.
- Support for loved ones. Friends, family, or partner can be an important source of validation of a person’s worth and help them feel respected in a safe environment.
6. The role of the environment
If there is a person in your environment who is characterized by signs of “masochist masks” or feelings of constant humiliation, it is very important to show delicacy and understanding. Try to point out that his emotional vulnerability is related to a long-standing experience, not a current desire to attract attention. Subtle support does not mean pity, but the ability to listen, respect feelings and, if necessary, gently direct professional help.
In addition, it is necessary to avoid aggressive forms of statements and poking fun at vulnerable moments of the personality. For a person with the trauma of humiliation, any hint of a joke can be taken as a serious confirmation of their “inability” or “worthlessness”, which will only aggravate the internal conflict. Therefore, warm, friendly and respectful communication often serves as the catalyst that triggers positive changes in the psyche.
Conclusion
The trauma of humiliation, according to Liz Bourbeau, is one of the most painful psychological wounds. Its origins lie in deep childhood experiences of shame, comparison, and suppression, and its consequences lie in low self-esteem, difficulty building healthy boundaries, and self-deprecation. Awareness of this trauma makes it possible to begin the path to liberation from destructive attitudes. Let this process not be instantaneous, but systematic work on yourself, support of loved ones and professional psychotherapeutic tools allow you to regain self-esteem and improve the quality of life in general.
Understanding their right to respect and benevolence, a person acquires the strength to share their uniqueness with the world around them and build relationships based on mutual recognition rather than constant fear of humiliation.
Glossary
- PsychosomaticsA field in medicine and psychology that studies the relationship between psychological factors and physical health.
- PerfectionismThe desire for the ideal result, accompanied by strong criticism and intolerance of mistakes.
- Cognitive behavioral therapyA form of psychotherapy that helps to recognize and change destructive thought and behavior patterns.
- Gestalt approachA psychotherapeutic direction aimed at understanding feelings and needs in the present moment and aimed at completing unclosed "gestalts" (situations).
- Body-oriented therapyPsychotherapeutic method, in which special attention is paid to the bodily manifestations of emotions, blocks and tensions.
- Self-eating.The tendency to constantly criticize yourself and feel guilty.
- Mask According to Liz Bourbeau, a protective strategy that helps a person adapt to pain, but often exacerbates the traumatic condition itself.
- Personal boundariesThe totality of a person's ideas about what is acceptable and safe in relationships with others, and how to maintain their autonomy.
