About the former, farewell and forgiveness Bashny.Net

You see — it takes time for stargazing,

and, it seems forever to bring…
... And I'm only now understand how
to love, to pity, to forgive, and to say goodbye.

Olga Bergholz "Indian summer»

Eighty eight million sixty three thousand five hundred ten



I've been living – I have fifty dollars soon, and I still don't know "how" to say goodbye. How to forgive and to not feel flawed or Vice versa – almost a God.

I mean, theoretically, I know everything, or almost everything about it. The benefits of forgiveness and letting go, that "it is important to remember the good and forget the bad", that "by freeing the place from the past, oppressive, relations can build a new one". That "gratitude washes your soul", that "resentment is not worth saving". I know all this. I believe in it all. And I myself teach it to their clients.

But the truth is that everything in life happens differently. Now that ready-made recipes for every occasion, every situation and every person.

In my life, I have found a compromise between what you believe as well, fact that feel, the "how it really is". A compromise followed, and which allows me to eventually end the relationship. Even painful. And, Yes, to forgive and to give thanks and feel "okay" at the end. And build new relationships even with exes.

The compromise is that I took the fact that every relationship is different. And the end of relations can also be different. And is permit yourself to experience different feelings towards different people.

I will share this in my life, it is possible that someone will respond.

ABOUT LETTING GO.

Letting go my reality is not this picture:

Eighteen million seven hundred sixty four thousand eight hundred fifty four



But such:

Thirty seven million eight hundred seventy three thousand eight hundred fifty seven



Where I'm the one who keeps)

When I saw it for myself, then realized, why am I so difficult to do. Here, the "reverse" side of this moment, I – "plus", and who I can't let go – "minus", obtained in my reality. I mean, I'm big and strong, and the other was small and weak and without me at all. And on what basis at all?? Opening – struck. Hold, I see myself as a "rescuer". Although you can suffer and survive.

What helped to overcome this point at the end of the relationship – is trust. Trust yourself – I can handle it. The confidence of another – he can handle it. And trust the world – everything happens as it should.

ABOUT FEELINGS.

Used to taburova: "mad – bad", and now allowed is anger. I can be mad at the other person. And the energy of anger is not the worst to end relationships that are not satisfied. I'm talking about the internal resolution to experience this feeling, not the manner of its expression. If exaggerating, then, if desired, "to fill a muzzle" — I will choose a more environmentally friendly something)

And, Yes, anger – it is not forever. It is a time when allow it to be.

FOR FORGIVENESS.

I asked myself: am I unable to forgive? Answer: no. Not all, not always and not everyone. Yes, I am imperfect.

And here is the line valid forgiveness – it is at everyone. Everyone chooses where to put a comma: to forgive or not to forgive. Sometimes these are the "scapegoats" — Unforgiven the former (by the way, here gender does not matter) – they allow other relationships to be cleaner or something. Calmer, balanced. Amazingly for me, but a fact.

But the fact that forgiveness is a powerful spiritual and emotional act of purification – I know. Not theoretically, but by their feelings.

Sometimes this internal penalty of unforgiveness we organize ourselves. Do not forgive herself or himself. And it is much stronger than the censure and condemnation from the outside.

To forgive is important and necessary. And forgiveness is the way. Difficult and long. With "kickbacks" and "indents" in the guilt or resentment, but the path to a better one. It was worth a go and pass it.

ABOUT SAYING GOODBYE.

For me the feeling is the litmus test of Gestalt completion in painful relationships – it's indifference. When the "not interesting". I, as a true samoistyazatel can "dig deeper" where there was once some touching memories, for example. Or Vice versa – offensive and injurious. And when nothing responds inside when calmly react, all – time of completion has come. All circles of hell passed, the wound healed.

And in this moment I can build a new relationship with the same person. Yes, this is possible. Or you can enjoy to the full in other respects.

But the most important is that I can look to the future in the present. Not turning this back to the future looking to the past. published 

     Farewell,

     forget

not obessud.

And the letters burn,

as a bridge.

So be courageous

     your way,

may he be direct

and simple.

Let it be in the darkness

for you to burn

star tinsel,

let there be hope

the palm of your hand to warm

by your fire.

Yes there are blizzards,

snow, rain

and raging roar of fire,

Yes there will be successes you have

more than I have.

Let it be powerful and beautiful

     fight,

thundering in your chest.

I'm happy for those,

which you,

It may be.,

     on the way.

                                                                                    

©Joseph Brodsky "Goodbye»

Author: Irina Stoyneva

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

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Source: www.irinastukaneva.ru/o-byvshix-o-proshhanii-i-proshhenii/