The advice of psychologists, which we understand is not correct Bashny.Net

Finally, in our meager life shed the sacred knowledge and we're not blind kittens know how to look for men to build relationships and to seek universal harmony. But here's the thing, some of the advice of psychologists, which would have seemed to work for some reason, to the shame of those who gave do not work. Let's try to find out why.

The relationship takes work

We are all a hundred times heard and read that the family, and just any relationship – it is not a given, but an endless process of work. They say that there are no perfect people, there will always be conflicts and quarrels that need to be addressed.

And so, inspired by this knowledge, women are happy to pull the strap of relations with the inadequate and unsuitable (for various reasons) partners. It does not work – need to work on yourself, become a woman for which you want to earn! Jealous – I prove to him that this is from insecurity and from former injuries, he needs to survive! Women years men shoved her articles and books, which from their point of view could help their relationships, to help men find themselves and so on.



a scene from the movie "My best lover"
 

They WORK. That's just missing one very important detail – work for the success of the event must be mutual! Two people should be approximately the same stage of development, spirituality, understanding of self and the world, then they will be able to speak the same language. Otherwise it will be a conversation with a deaf mute, or attempt to cure the patient, who does not want to be cured. This, again returning to the terminology of favorite therapists codependent relationship, where work and don't work – little help.

 

Why is this good advice we took is not quite right?First, it is convenient – no need to throw the guy not glued and the fighting – you can just WORK on relationships and supposedly all will be well.

This heroic woman (especially having lived in the West I understand that this applies only to women in the post-Soviet space) subconsciously wants to be the heroine. That is, if the fire and into the water, and a galloping horse is no longer fashionable and even a little shameful, I'll just be a heroine in the field of struggle over the relationship. After many years of “WORK” you could say, I did everything I could! A Pat on the shoulder and will respect, Yes it worked, well, apparently, dogs.

In fact, any normal therapist would say that sometimes the work will not bring results, you simply need to find initially a more suitable partner, and perhaps then no advice of psychologists will not be needed? But maybe I still need to work on relationships periodically, but it will bring results, not the hassle, strife torn years. Sometimes you just need to stop being a doctor, the heroine, a fairy and have to admit – this is not for me, I'll find a better, it is not a shame and not selfish at all.

 

Difficulties of the Vedic unwinese one very popular and, again, judging by the comments of women who are not quite right restructuree for is the concept of “Vedic women”. Tired from the eternal feats, flogged and 3 works women willingly agree that women should not think about the money, they have to wear skirts and to emit light, build a nest and to inspire man to feats. That sounds great, wrap it up, take.

Articles about Vedic many women referred to the service, and many women, wresting it out of context, somehow think that the woman should serve the man, implicitly to obey, to be submissive, and look into his mouth, listening to every word. Only a woman supposedly in the house will create the best atmosphere where men feel comfortable, secure and the head of the family.

But really, there's nothing the poor Vedas in mind had not. There's no word on what the woman should become a servant or slave. Again, with some men no Yubko-experiments do not work, all it very individually. That is why so many negative comments about “Vedic women” from those that thought enough to wear a skirt to stop working and do not reproach her husband. But we are talking about energy – it can not be bought on the trainings, not change by a simple change of habits is, sometimes long-term work on yourself first and foremost, the attainment of self-love, a sense of self-worth, endless self-development!

 

The opinion of the psychologist-consultant Natalia Zhukova:

"I partly agree with Inessa in the sense that the wording "relations" affect them very adversely. To marry the man she loved to upheavals and work out. Really know how women in the post-Soviet space.

First, it is an unequal energy exchange. Too much energy is invested at very low returns. And the entire responsibility the woman assumes. Need a partner with whom dialogue is possible. For this we need to look at each other, not to hurry with the choice.

There is an important point. All is not fun and is made of obligations, makes us "burn out", including in relationships.

If a woman stops working on the relationship and wants to live in pleasure, we need to work out. If a favorite work, Hobbies, – in stock, the care of the body in the form of a pool, the massage is, the woman is most attractive for your partner in it energy of love, lightness, joy. She had no time to "cut", to speak about their feelings, to establish a dialogue. A smart woman just not bring a happy relationship to the point where it is necessary to "build" relationships.

Well, the theme of the Vedas is derived from the previous one. Of course, it's not as primitive as many women perceive. And most importantly, the task of women in the Vedas – not to serve men, and be filled with energy: take care of the body, his soul may rest in peace, to enjoy life, what I was talking about above. And if not, then the relationship deteriorates quickly, as it accumulates fatigue."

Author: Inessa Kurkova

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

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Source: openthedoor.com.ua/v-sebja/sovety-psihologov-my-ne-pravilno-ponjali/