When You start Dating, you usually think about the man and quality of relationship with him. Thoughts is so much that You can get confused and get lost. But there are five main questions, the answers to which will help to understand if the game is worth the candle. Just be honest with yourself...
To know a person by fate was with us, it takes time. And if he's really the one You waited for, then that's fine! Can only be congratulated. And if things don't go quite the way I want? It's complicated, and a nagging doubt: is there any prospect of a relationship with Your man?
Wanting to create a loving relationship, it is important to do some inner work to realize who You are? what You really need in life? what makes You happy? what kind of man do You need exactly? and as someone who right now meet the real needs?
This article will help clarify the subtleties that indicate a prospect of a relationship between a man and a woman. Often we begin to reflect on them, already having some experience and having filled bumps. But let's take first things first. Imagine the following situation:
Shopping center. Intensive human stream. Marina ran here at lunch to buy a bag, which I accidentally saw in the window. Absolutely bomber! Time to be on time. "Young man, tell me, please, where is the ATM? – in a hurry she turned to the first comer and was stunned: in front of her stood... johnny Depp!
No, it was, of course, another man – tall, wearing a hat, a stylish suit, expensive glasses in thin frame... But what a striking similarity! "Girl, I don't know where is ATM. But could You leave me your phone number?" – heard in response. Thus began their acquaintance.
At first Marina was overjoyed: Arthur always smelled like expensive perfume, he was clean-shaven and so gallant! Never forget to give flowers. And all her girlfriends just envious!
But one day the phone rang: "Kitty! You see, my friend was in the hospital. Need expensive treatment. In General, I gave him the money that was set aside for our trip." Marina almost cried into the phone. She was looking forward to this trip six months! Six months wanted which room they will live, as will bask on the dazzling sand on the ocean, what they are waiting for the amazing temples, museums, food... "But a friend in need! I'm still selfish!" – the thought flashed, and pomoravlje eyes immediately dried up.
However, the farther the Arthur less time devoted to the Marina. He might forget to answer a TEXT. Lost in the gym because of what they had seen not so often. Rarely took her to the cinema or cafe. "Stuff! – he reassured himself Marina. – But he's a caring and great cooks! Only... when he did it last time?"Stop! Sound familiar? Still, answer many.
So, the first problem women who are in a difficult relationship with a man refusing to remove the rose-colored glasses.
What does it mean? It means a desire to dismiss unpleasant signals from men, despite the fact that they cause internal discomfort and even pain.But you need to do exactly the opposite – be very vigilant, careful and ask yourself five questions that will reveal the true nature of the relationship between a man and a woman . What kind of questions?1. I'm meeting with a real person or such
what it could be?
Of course, there are no perfect people. Therefore, many believe that "normal" or passable relationship is better than nothing. And you can ignore the couple of "red flags" for peace in the family. Just what price is given to You this world?
If the partner does not possess some key qualities, You just can't be happy with him. What is this quality? Tall, handsome, rich, athletic, smart, promising? Not at all! That is, of course, good if it's all there.But life is not a romantic walk through a spring garden.
It happen very difficult times: loss, illness, debt, a collision with someone's betrayal, aggression or danger.
You must be sure that the man will be with You in all of these situations! He can rely on his shoulder to get his help, support and comfort.
It is here that You will need reliability and responsibility. And yet –emotional openness, empathy and trust, because You just need to share with him and victories, and defeats. And yet – terpimosti the ability to compromise: You different people, of disagreements, sometimes very serious in life.
What else do You need? Financial responsibility and focus on the family – without them the long lasting relationship impossible.
Does all these qualities Your partner? If not here and now, You almost certainly will remain with nothing. And or you will suffer the rest of your life, or replenish the sad statistics of divorce.
This being said, you can rephrase the first question: do You want to spend with this man all your life? Can you go with him through fire and water?
And if so, I am sincerely happy for You!2. If I want my child was the same as my man?
If You want to have children, simply have no right to ignore this question. After all, when a child is born, he receives not only a part of the genes of the parent. He learns his pattern of behavior and traits.
So if men expressed such qualities as anger, despotism, the desire for control or a lack of maturity and responsibility to keep that in mind as you may face these same traits in Your child.
You hope that will overcome the hereditary or behavioral deficiencies of Your men? Sometimes this is possible, but not always. So remember: you're risking not only his own life but the life of a child.3. Does your Outlook on life and values?
I have considerable experience as a life coach, and has experience of relationships with women. But I confess: when I met with the women and tried to create a relationship, we often attach more importance to the coincidence of our Hobbies and interests than community Outlook on life and values. It was a huge mistake! Why?
There is no pair, which would be at all stages of development of relations were no discrepancies in any of the questions. But if the differences are too serious and touch on important points, expect problems.
You're Thrifty and he's a spender? You have spiritual aspirations, and he considers it a whim? You are very sexy, and he's not? You dream about children, and he wants to dedicate himself to science? You want to work, and he sees only a homemaker? Do you think that the man should provide for his family, but he has a different opinion?
Whatever the differences, they cannot be ignored. Be sure to understand: what can take? for what it is possible to find a compromise solution? what can not tolerate?
If you find that you have enough common ground and there are no fundamental differences, then Your relationship with the man have all chances to become happy. And it's great!
If I suspect that the differences don't bother you now can become a problem in the future, think about whether or not to continue this relationship. Perhaps today it is better to make a difficult choice, to further avoid being forced to make life itself.4. Was my life a better man when I came? Was my life better with him?
These questions are among the most pivotal in the relationship between a man and a woman. In addition, they apply to every person in Your life, not only of the elect. Although not so often people are in a romantic relationship, they ask themselves. However, there are too many couples in which each one can live quite satisfactory lives, but together, it becomes impossible.
In such a relationship is lacking attention, care, responsibility, and compromise from both sides. Either one makes steps forward, and the other not. You prepare a three-course meal, and he chronically forgets to take food on the road? You go to the football together, and for a fair one? Or even go there, because it is fundamentally against?
Even if the relationship between man and woman improves the life of just one partner, such a relationship is almost always doomed.
This situation is similar to a three-legged stool where one leg is a relationship and the other two – a man and a woman. If any of these three legs has a split or crack, the chair will collapse as soon as I get under load. Therefore, our goal is to create a relationship with three strong legs and ensure that they remain durable and sustainable.5. Compatible with your life goals, aspirations and dreams?
We all have life aspirations, whether it be love, work or something that brings us pleasure. It's all what we want to achieve in our lives. You want to travel the world or create a house – a full bowl, a big family and enjoy a settled life? To live in the city and have a career or You are attracted to downshifting?
If Your men are incompatible with Your own, a future together may not be possible. So every time when enter into a relationship with a man, it is important for You to evaluate Your life and his desire for compatibility.
For this you can ask him questions: what do you want to achieve in life? what is your dream? what ideally do you see your life? In a happy and healthy relationship, everyone is free to pursue their goals. Because each takes something from the outside world, than after sharing with a partner.
Are you interested in painting and he attended the business training? Great! First, it helps to see each other interesting, creative individuals to admire and be proud of each other, to discover new, previously unknown side.
Secondly, the paintings created by Your hands, can inspire him, to stimulate his creativity and help him to advance in his business. And perhaps one day will create a common cause.
But if You get a second degree, and he is going to get in absentia first, or You go to career growth, and it is working fine as a government official and other plans has not, one day it may be You just uninteresting.
In the matter of the psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman should work rule of a two-way street. But when the movement is in one direction only, someone almost always will be pushed to the margins.SO, YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH the MAN PROMISING, IF:
1) Your man has such qualities, which allow us to say: "I want to live with this man for the rest of my life."
2) If Your child will inherit the nature and habits of the father, You will be very happy.
3) You Have to match the key man Outlook on life and values.
4) the Life of both has improved since You started to develop relationships.
5) Life goals, ambitions and dreams to each other inspire and help both to grow, building a truly harmonious relationship.
Thank You, that was with me reading this article! And remember, the establishment of sincere relations between a man and a woman is the path to a truly happy family life! published
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki