Such difficult life lessons or what not to do

I want to share my experience how not to do it.

I have quite a respectable lady. My husband is older than me by 8 years. In the beginning of the relationship was burning with concern, took care of, and then it subsided. There was a lot of bad and good. I worked all the time. And behind the house to watch and sports to go, and to the beauty salon to drop in. Energy abounds everywhere time. Like with her husband good. Of course, I missed his attention, care, affection. But I can stand up for themselves. The child wore a traveling nature. A lot of business trips. Like I'm married, sort of not.

The girlfriend says that men after 45 years the crisis happens. A at this time the novels start. I listened and laughed. Who, whom, and at me such does not happen.

 





 

The years went by. Husband increasingly began to leave. I good without him. To cook, wash, clean less.

Suddenly social networks I stumble upon his comment to a photo. I'm an analyst. Hoo what analytical reviews are, in logic and ability to operate with numbers, facts I -a highly qualified specialist.

Comparing, analyzing, discovered the existence of a young mistress at the present time. Recalled some episodes from the past, understand that this is not the only case.

Caused her husband to the conversation. He protested, said it was my speculation. But, I'm a tank. To cope with my onslaught, he drank a bottle of whiskey and told the story of her "crazy" love. It turned out that he found her on a business trip in the Outback of our country. Brought to St. Petersburg, we rented an apartment got a job. The affair lasted for 2 years.

And there would be me to roar, to yell, and let go of the man on all 4 sides. But no. How dare he? Whom exchanged? I – smart, beautiful, with lots of prestigious diplomas, with a good job and so-forth.

And away we go. I gave up on everything. The goal is to return lost sheep to the flock, that is, the family of her husband. What I just did. Cared for him, cleaned, washed, ironed, cooked borscht, earning money, Smoking in the apartment allowed, hem in teeth kept. About myself, about the children forgot. My interests flew in the trash.

Husband that shamelessly used. He was regularly coming home drunk. Could and disappear. My calls were dropping or just turned off the phone. Under the vapours of alcohol, he shared with me the love feelings. And immediately swore in love to me and the family. Said that there's nothing there. He's only with me. Then I found confirmation of his double life.

I was expecting that he will understand, as I do a lot of doing for him that will appreciate my patience, my caring, my sacrifice. Around me were the same worn-out friend. We cried, complained to each other and continued to endure and serve their husbands. At times my mind could not stand and I fell. Tantrums happen more often. I tortured myself. The atmosphere in the family was nervous and tense. It lasted almost 4 years.

At some point I fell at home. Very much. Then he stumbled on the cottage and almost fell from the second floor. I picked it up. Both times they escaped with bruises. After some time I fell again and badly sprained her ankle. A few months went from a hard bandage. Heels were forgotten for a long time.

God sent me signs. Warned me. But I am like a blinkered horse, rushed into the abyss. All these experiences are reflected in all areas of my life. I lost my job. I felt so sorry for myself, I was so upset, crying. Asked her husband to stay with me. He said that he had an important event with friends. He comes back drunk.

I realized that I had reached an impasse. Am I the only one. I feel very bad. By the way, I saw a visit to the psychologist. I managed to make the brain and shrink, until one day does not happen a new trauma. My hand fell a stone plate. Open fractures of the fingers, multiple lacerations and broken from the force of impact engagement ring. The ring took some of the shock and the bone of the ring finger remained intact. I was shock, then surgery, doctors, rehabilitation.

The psychologist is very firmly pointed out to me that the cause of this injury in my wrong behavior. I was waiting for her, of pity, of sympathy, and she doused me with a bucket of water. Thank you to her.

 





 

I have expelled the husband. I was unemployed with two children and credits. But I have faith: I do everything right. At the same time I stumbled on the website Olga Valeevoj. I captured her articles. I began to listen to its recommended lecturers, to read recommended books.

While looking for work, engaged in work. Sewing bedspreads, pillows in patchwork style. It was very hard mentally. It is very difficult to let go of something that you spent such a force.

Time heals all wounds. It's been 1.5 years, and I'm happy. I have established relationships in the family. We can chat over tea for hours. Together we do crafts for charity Foundation where I volunteer. Around I had a friend with whom we joke, laugh, enjoy life.

Reflecting on the lessons of this situation, I realized I didn't love myself. I was proud of their achievements, status, but not love. I lived in the prescribed someone the program, contrary to his wishes.

I appeal to all the girls — love yourself, do not tolerate inappropriate behaviour towards you, don't let to push their desires into the far corner.

By the way, what efforts I made, one finger has never recovered its functions. After another surgery realized that this is my reminder. I took my physical imperfection. I am grateful to God for the lessons.published

 

Author: Olga Valyaeva

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

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Source: valyaeva.ru/takie-neprostye-uroki-zhizni-opyt-anastasii/

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