384
How to say no to a woman
"You'd be surprised, but women easily believe the phrase "I'm in a relationship and don't want to change" — about how not to offend the girl, which the man doesn't want sex, says writer and expert in gender relations March Cetro.
Fifty eight million six hundred eighteen thousand two hundred seventy two
One day a man may be in a situation where he will have to refuse the woman. No, not buying a fur coat, and in intimacy and sex. And it's not about his own wife, and relatively new acquaintances. Late in the evening he gets drunk SMS, morning finds in the mail night letter or just take the hand in a café or whatever, but the essence is the same: a woman invites him to try. "To lead us closer" or simply "Let's sleep together".
There are probably people for whom this situation is familiar, they solve it easily and beautifully, but a large part feels a bit awkward, especially if lady they are not interested.
No, of course, flattering. But the heart and other organs will not order, when a woman does not fit well, very, very.
And here man stands before a difficult tactical problem. In most traditions the woman is the goal, the passive subject to which it is accepted to come with suggestions, leaving behind it the right to reject. Therefore, the culture of women's refusal to have worked out pretty well: just say no, it does not insult men's honour will not suffer.
And when a woman discards the usual role and becomes active, it puts your feelings at risk. The fact of the sentence itself is not quite "decent", and only declined sharply reduces its value.
... Here we must pause, all in time to be indignant. How?! We have equal rights! And if her personality can devalue someone else's opinion?
Of course, equal not, of course, suggests to us the reason. But there is a domestic component, which most of us in the blood, as with any fight. And here she is horrified by the situation. In relaxed modern woman suddenly found a young dumb kitty that almost died of shame, when I showed Vronsky his love, and he asked her to marry me. Remember this episode?
"She expected him to ask her for a waltz, but he was not invited, and she looked up in surprise. He flushed slightly, and hurriedly asked her to waltz, but he just hugged her slender waist and taken the first step when the music suddenly stopped. Kitty looked at his face which was at such a close distance from her, and long afterwards, through several years, this look full of love which she then looked at him and he didn't answer it, painful shame cut her heart."
Thirty nine million eight hundred twenty six thousand forty
What was that "look of love", and it was enough to almost rid myself from the light.
It is abnormal and wrong, but we all, girls and boys, too much reading of the classics, to fully get rid of stereotypes. As soon as she carelessly tossed: "Let's sleep together" — and immediately turned into a delicate fragile flower.
He was a free man in a free country — and then himself missing breast: "So, you're a man at all and what to do now?»
First of all, think. Quickly, but carefully to decide for yourself whether not. You scared or really don't want it? In the end, it is not often you are offered these things for free. You remember the story of Shiva and Parvati according to one version of the legend, Shiva had gone so deep into self-improvement, that does not answer the love calls Parvati and then was punished for it, because to reject a woman is a sin.
But sin in the case, if you think that there are better things to do. If she just doesn't like, not suitable, not necessary, you don't have to. True, true — you should never have only the fact of their gender.
So,the decision is to refuse. Next step — stop trying to flirt with her.
Ninety five million three hundred nineteen thousand forty four
Sometimes it happens that a woman chooses a glance and without any advances on your part, but rather some flirting was present. So, immediately stop. Long glances, accidental touches, hints and risky jokes must end.
From this moment on non-binding courtship, which are also part of our culture, turns into a cruel teasing hungry man meat in the parlance of "Dynamo". Don't write cheques that do not intend to pay.
Well, now you have something to say. Just, definitely and infinitely warmly and politely. One "no" is not enough.
What are your arguments? No, not true, but such that she could accept and not be offended?
You will be surprised, but women easily believe the phrase "I'm in a relationship and don't want to change." Even ladies of loose morals are glad to prevent the existence of men that someone is correct because you gave the word. It warms them during the long winter evenings with a warm plaid blanket.
You managed to blurt things out that are free? Damn. Then tell me what in love with another. Yes, you have not yet developed, but you do not lose hope. Or have already lost, but the image of the beloved does not let go. Women romantic to the ridiculous, capable of swallowing it.
It was a great options if they for some reason impossible (well, she knows that no one you don't), you have to step on a slippery path.
How to tell a woman that she's not your type and it does not disappoint you to death? Very simply. "Sorry, I prefer the fatties. You can consider me a pervert, but you would have to gain twenty pounds" — all free. No woman will not do.
If she's a fatty and there is,... no, no "lose weight". It would be a shame, and secondly, who knows, maybe the truth will undertake for himself and in about three months, going to nail you to the wall. It is therefore urgent to become a lover of women of small stature or older (no, not younger!!!), Asian girls or anyone else who's not and to whom she cannot be "improved." Better to be considered weird than to insult or give false hope.
That certainly doesn't work?
"I'm afraid to ruin our friendship".
"I'm not good enough for you."
"I now have too many problems."
Forty five million three hundred eighteen thousand six hundred twenty
No such difficulties and disadvantages with which a woman will not be able to accept. At least she thinks she is ready to overcome all, to surround you with care, understanding and tenderness. And she sure knows how to stay a good friend even after sex. So she won't believe you. Okay, think, I'm probably just too thick.
Let's say you somehow did and now I look at that pained face. Quite often at this time there thinking "And can still..."And the most persistent can sometimes be a moment of weakness. Awkward in front of the girl or pity to miss the chance. No, she just does not like it, but some greed for experience sometimes wins out. In any case don't fall, don't comfort yourself with the thought that for once something can. Must not. You can't sleep with someone who is not right for you. It is despicable in relation to the partner and destructively towards himself.
Even sex involves a short but close up, do not let her with someone completely unsuitable for you.
Now I should say something nice and say goodbye. And never to write and not to call first. If appears on the horizon, to respond, but to take the initiative.
But try someday to make her a little gift, but not personal, and, well, social. To help, when she needs to move, to throw up the work, to share information — there are all sorts of possibilities for non-binding courtesy. From all these stories the woman has to bear the following message: "You are very valuable. We can't be together, but I am grateful for the interest and respect you even more than before".
This is the best result possible. Osadochek, of course, remain, but at least you did everything you could.published
Author: March Cetro
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: www.gazeta.ru/lifestyle/style/2015/10/a_7851797.shtml
Fifty eight million six hundred eighteen thousand two hundred seventy two
One day a man may be in a situation where he will have to refuse the woman. No, not buying a fur coat, and in intimacy and sex. And it's not about his own wife, and relatively new acquaintances. Late in the evening he gets drunk SMS, morning finds in the mail night letter or just take the hand in a café or whatever, but the essence is the same: a woman invites him to try. "To lead us closer" or simply "Let's sleep together".
There are probably people for whom this situation is familiar, they solve it easily and beautifully, but a large part feels a bit awkward, especially if lady they are not interested.
No, of course, flattering. But the heart and other organs will not order, when a woman does not fit well, very, very.
And here man stands before a difficult tactical problem. In most traditions the woman is the goal, the passive subject to which it is accepted to come with suggestions, leaving behind it the right to reject. Therefore, the culture of women's refusal to have worked out pretty well: just say no, it does not insult men's honour will not suffer.
And when a woman discards the usual role and becomes active, it puts your feelings at risk. The fact of the sentence itself is not quite "decent", and only declined sharply reduces its value.
... Here we must pause, all in time to be indignant. How?! We have equal rights! And if her personality can devalue someone else's opinion?
Of course, equal not, of course, suggests to us the reason. But there is a domestic component, which most of us in the blood, as with any fight. And here she is horrified by the situation. In relaxed modern woman suddenly found a young dumb kitty that almost died of shame, when I showed Vronsky his love, and he asked her to marry me. Remember this episode?
"She expected him to ask her for a waltz, but he was not invited, and she looked up in surprise. He flushed slightly, and hurriedly asked her to waltz, but he just hugged her slender waist and taken the first step when the music suddenly stopped. Kitty looked at his face which was at such a close distance from her, and long afterwards, through several years, this look full of love which she then looked at him and he didn't answer it, painful shame cut her heart."
Thirty nine million eight hundred twenty six thousand forty
What was that "look of love", and it was enough to almost rid myself from the light.
It is abnormal and wrong, but we all, girls and boys, too much reading of the classics, to fully get rid of stereotypes. As soon as she carelessly tossed: "Let's sleep together" — and immediately turned into a delicate fragile flower.
He was a free man in a free country — and then himself missing breast: "So, you're a man at all and what to do now?»
First of all, think. Quickly, but carefully to decide for yourself whether not. You scared or really don't want it? In the end, it is not often you are offered these things for free. You remember the story of Shiva and Parvati according to one version of the legend, Shiva had gone so deep into self-improvement, that does not answer the love calls Parvati and then was punished for it, because to reject a woman is a sin.
But sin in the case, if you think that there are better things to do. If she just doesn't like, not suitable, not necessary, you don't have to. True, true — you should never have only the fact of their gender.
So,the decision is to refuse. Next step — stop trying to flirt with her.
Ninety five million three hundred nineteen thousand forty four
Sometimes it happens that a woman chooses a glance and without any advances on your part, but rather some flirting was present. So, immediately stop. Long glances, accidental touches, hints and risky jokes must end.
From this moment on non-binding courtship, which are also part of our culture, turns into a cruel teasing hungry man meat in the parlance of "Dynamo". Don't write cheques that do not intend to pay.
Well, now you have something to say. Just, definitely and infinitely warmly and politely. One "no" is not enough.
What are your arguments? No, not true, but such that she could accept and not be offended?
You will be surprised, but women easily believe the phrase "I'm in a relationship and don't want to change." Even ladies of loose morals are glad to prevent the existence of men that someone is correct because you gave the word. It warms them during the long winter evenings with a warm plaid blanket.
You managed to blurt things out that are free? Damn. Then tell me what in love with another. Yes, you have not yet developed, but you do not lose hope. Or have already lost, but the image of the beloved does not let go. Women romantic to the ridiculous, capable of swallowing it.
It was a great options if they for some reason impossible (well, she knows that no one you don't), you have to step on a slippery path.
How to tell a woman that she's not your type and it does not disappoint you to death? Very simply. "Sorry, I prefer the fatties. You can consider me a pervert, but you would have to gain twenty pounds" — all free. No woman will not do.
If she's a fatty and there is,... no, no "lose weight". It would be a shame, and secondly, who knows, maybe the truth will undertake for himself and in about three months, going to nail you to the wall. It is therefore urgent to become a lover of women of small stature or older (no, not younger!!!), Asian girls or anyone else who's not and to whom she cannot be "improved." Better to be considered weird than to insult or give false hope.
That certainly doesn't work?
"I'm afraid to ruin our friendship".
"I'm not good enough for you."
"I now have too many problems."
Forty five million three hundred eighteen thousand six hundred twenty
No such difficulties and disadvantages with which a woman will not be able to accept. At least she thinks she is ready to overcome all, to surround you with care, understanding and tenderness. And she sure knows how to stay a good friend even after sex. So she won't believe you. Okay, think, I'm probably just too thick.
Let's say you somehow did and now I look at that pained face. Quite often at this time there thinking "And can still..."And the most persistent can sometimes be a moment of weakness. Awkward in front of the girl or pity to miss the chance. No, she just does not like it, but some greed for experience sometimes wins out. In any case don't fall, don't comfort yourself with the thought that for once something can. Must not. You can't sleep with someone who is not right for you. It is despicable in relation to the partner and destructively towards himself.
Even sex involves a short but close up, do not let her with someone completely unsuitable for you.
Now I should say something nice and say goodbye. And never to write and not to call first. If appears on the horizon, to respond, but to take the initiative.
But try someday to make her a little gift, but not personal, and, well, social. To help, when she needs to move, to throw up the work, to share information — there are all sorts of possibilities for non-binding courtesy. From all these stories the woman has to bear the following message: "You are very valuable. We can't be together, but I am grateful for the interest and respect you even more than before".
This is the best result possible. Osadochek, of course, remain, but at least you did everything you could.published
Author: March Cetro
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: www.gazeta.ru/lifestyle/style/2015/10/a_7851797.shtml
Unusual secret harmony of Buddhist monks
Pavel Durov: You need to get rid of the voices of other people in Your head