Liz Burbo: do Not shift the responsibility for happiness and unhappiness

You may think that these situations are not so dramatic compared with the loss of a job, bankruptcy, drug addiction of your child, in a dangerous illness, her husband cheating with his young mistress, the death of a loved one, etc.

How can you say that these dramatic situations? Why in the same circumstances, some people remain calm, others see them as a drama?

These reactions depend on a physical, emotional and mental limits of each person.

Here is a portrait of a typical person who is easy to dramatize events:

  • emotionalism,
  • excessive imagination with loss of control,
  • panic because of their own fears,
  • special need for attention.
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There is a difference between «dramatize» and «exaggerate». Take, for example, the couple resting on the beach. A man decides to swim away, and the woman lost sight of him, begins to imagine terrible frightening picture. Even if she is sure that her husband is a great swimmer, her imagination is stronger than reason. And if, upon the return of her husband, she continues to experience strong emotions, she's dramatic.

If she just says: "have You thought about the sharks, swim so far?"and has no emotions, she just exaggerates.

When we overdramatising we fear the consequences of a particular situation or that we're guilty of it.

To illustrate this, let's take the same examples.

  • The mess in the bathroom: the woman thinks that kids enjoy it, that they are indifferent to the fact that she has many other things besides cleaning the house. She feels that it is not love.
  • The child is too close to the pool: the parent is afraid of accusations of irresponsibility, if with the child something happens.
  • Someone is late for a meeting: the person is afraid of losing the respect of the other person, afraid of losing their jobs, afraid of condemnation, etc.
  • To see a mouse or spider: the fear of losing your space. Animal only reminds us of the fears that we experience with other people.
  • To recover 5 kg: fear of being unattractive and feeling lonely.
  • Waiting disrupts your plans: do you think that you do not respect, you are afraid that not cope with the consequences.

Dramatizing the situation, the man shifts the responsibility for happiness and unhappiness on the other person. He also feels responsible for other people. Not realizing in this report, he only thinks about himself. A responsible person is liable for the consequences of their choices, their actions, not the actions of others.

If you go back to the more tragic examples that I gave at the beginning, let's watch together, as if acted responsible person:

  • Lose his job: a responsible person doesn't blame his boss. He realizes that there are no coincidences. Turning inward, he realizes that in doing so, he has nothing further to learn, and he had long secretly wanted to start something new. And the universe decided for him herself.
  • Fail :a responsible person doesn't blame the system or the economic situation. He realizes that this situation will help him to live a new experience when he creates something new. Instead of depression, this attitude of the people is strengthened.
  • Child drug addiction: a responsible person doesn't blame your child and not blame yourself as a parent, feeling guilty for the decision of a teenager. He knows that it was the decision of a teenager, and only he, sooner or later, will bear the consequences of their decisions. Responsible person to share with a teenager the way he feels in this situation and explain to him that he had no desire to suffer the consequences for it. On the contrary, it will offer the child assistance within their capabilities.
  • Dangerous disease: instead of panic, the man in charge uses his disease to reveal the inner attitude that started this disease. He was grateful to my body for this disease, which allowed to realize something.
  • Cheating husband: instead of blaming her husband, a woman in charge will work on my fear of loneliness. She realizes that she has created this fear, and will work hard to ensure that her happiness did not depend on other people.
  • The death of a loved one: a responsible person does not see this injustice and not feel abandoned. He decides another man to go into the world of souls. He respects the choice of your loved one, even if suffering from his physical absence.

The concept of responsibility helps to maintain balance. Any level-headed person knows that there is always a solution, staying calm and watching what is happening, there will always be the best and most informed decisions.

People seeking to retain control and aromatiziruyuschih events, not necessarily balanced and creates for itself in even bigger trouble. He simultaneously emerging diseases and ailments, such as problems of the nervous system, headaches, indigestion, stomach trouble, liver and pancreas. Most suffer from digestive system. The more a person dramatizes, the big trouble he as the victim, falls. The more he suffers as a victim, the more trouble and the threat of rare diseases it attracts.


Because the victim always gets a lot of attention, talking about their troubles or tragic events. In the end, a man convinced that without AMD in the limelight not to. Fortunately, nothing is permanent in our material world. Everything is temporary. And only those who believe troubles last forever, re-draw them in by his ability to create and thus to justify themselves.

In life we can all choose between:

  • unconditional and conditional love (I love you, if...),
  • love and fear,
  • faith and fear,
  • the desire to control and the ability to let go of the situation.

This choice gives us access to happiness or trouble to the harmony or misery.

In conclusion, in brief, personally I advise people that are easy to dramatize and would like to change this habit.

  • Realize by asking their family and friends.
  • Give yourself the right to be that way now, recognizing the endured fears.
  • Have compassion for yourself and others by trying to take their place.
  • To apologize to the person you blamed, because you yourself were afraid.
  • Learn to laugh and let go. To recognize that the desire to control everything requires much more effort than a simple observation.
  • Remember: the more you dramatize, the more emotions are going through. You are wrong to react and provoke disease.
  • Ask yourself questions: "So tragic this situation? If I in a few moments, will die, will this matter? How can I grow through this experience?»

Very soon you realize that you become the master of your life and it will allow you to have a life to which you aspire.published 


©Liz Burbo, translation Ia Zaitsev

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

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